The ultimate incentive to get debt free, can I do it by New Years?

Cinny91

Dinah93 wrote: »

If you don't stop spending young lady I'm going to come down there and haul you in front of your grandad! You should still be saving for your BFs laptop now, and you were doing well with that, can you not set yourself a holiday target or something instead to aim for? Your signiture looks too empty and aimless - get yourself a challenge!

Yes Miss! I'll be confessing to my Grandad tomorrow after work. Went into town today with OH and didn't spend anything, plus I've managed to fix my glasses. Going to try for a NSW until friday - although my phonebill goes out on the wednesday - I think i'll be 100 times more focused once my savings account is fully open so I know what's savings and whats not. Also re-glued my terramundi so I'll start work on that again.

Are you back at work this week?

Hows your kitty feeling? Might of eaten something she wasn't meant to!

Dinah93

Yep going back to work tomorrow. Really don't want to go, it's so amazingly pointless. I need a new career.

OH has been out to have lunch with his mum today for her birthday. I can tell when he's been with either of his parents as he comes back all cold and materialistic. He decided to give me a talk on how I probably won't be able to work for myself when I have kids and I'm going to be in town planning for the next 40 years. Gee, that makes me so happy dear. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy that I'm trying to clear my debt and savings and everything, which I thought I was doing to give myself a chance at a happy future, but apparently I can't hope to do anything more. I've been nothing but supportive of him in his too-ing and fro-ing over what he wants to do, helped him find legal training contracts, then helped him find information on becoming a teacher and the right courses to enable him to do it, because in his own words im better at finding information than him. It kind of feels right now that the support thing is a bit of a one way street, as when I share my dreams and ambitions they're completely crushed out of hand, so maybe it's best I keep them to myself.

Cinny91

Jeez, If OH came at me like that I'd be telling him where to get off. Sending a hug your way! Here's hoping it's just another case of men thinking they know best, then talking without thinking. Still wouldn't let him off easily though!

And as for working from home when you have kids, I'm more that sure you'll be able too. With your determination I bet you could do anything if you set your mind to it, like you said yourself. Just look how well you've done with clearing your debts so far, I'd of lost heart by now!

Like Men at Work once said, Ain't nothing gonna break-a my stride. Yep, I went there.

Tete_en_l'Air

I love Cinny, she always comes up with something appropriate and uplifting! Sounds to me like your OH gets that kind of treatment from his parents and comes away from them feeling all negative and hopeless?

Helvellyn was all snowy and beautiful but about 1/6 of the way up we started sinking up to our knees in the snow and reluctantly decided that it probably wasn't the day for it. Poor OH was gutted so took him out onto the moors for a few hours yesterday and they were a bit snowy as well.

Glad you're feeling well enough to get back to work Dinah, I was becoming very very jealous of all your (wheezy) time off.

Lara I am on dooyoo, will log in later and see if I can find you...

Dinah93

Tete_en_l'Air wrote: »

I love Cinny, she always comes up with something appropriate and uplifting! Sounds to me like your OH gets that kind of treatment from his parents and comes away from them feeling all negative and hopeless?

Think you could have hit the nail on the head there Tete. I love him to bits really, I just think sometimes he's very insular, and he needs a lot of support to make decisions and to move forwards, but that that support can be quite one way at times. He's great at telling me he misses me, or how great I look one day, or how proud he is of me for clearing the debts, but he has grown up with this benchmark that the only kind of success in life is financial/career, so I do find him unsupportive that my ambitions have absolutely nothing to do with a job but with how I want to be able to live my family life.

Sorry it was so snowy Tete, still bet it was a nice, if short, jaunt.

I know I could work from home Cinny, but if it's him I'm with then he kind of needs to be supportive of that. Also he needs to decide whether the happiness of his partner is more important than having the newest car and to be consistent in that. His parents both live this really glossy life, his mum built her own house, his dad owns a very successful company, both take lots of holidays, drive new cars, are members of tennis and golf clubs, go for days at the races etc, and yet its exactly the kind of life I don't want to have. I think it's cold and their family spends half the time in arguement with one another, so what good has the huge house and the posh furniture done in the end? I know I sound bitter but his mum thinks I'm trying to trap him into having kids and his dad thinks I'm dull, so if they can make huge generalisations without even knowing me then I'm going to too!

Rant over. Sorry. :embarasse

Tete_en_l'Air

Dinah93 wrote: »

His parents both live this really glossy life, his mum built her own house, his dad owns a very successful company, both take lots of holidays, drive new cars, are members of tennis and golf clubs, go for days at the races etc

But are these the things that HE values? It just sounds to me as though he's easily conflicted and is sure about stuff when he's with you but then his overbearing (?) parents put ideas into his head? Sorr if I'm making assumptions...

BTW, congratulations on getting sub £4k!!! :T

cozza123

Dinah seems im not the only one who's OH's family are funny with. We sound quite simiar haven't really done anything to deserve it yet but are still not liked by them :mad:. Remember xmas didn't even get any invites round over xmas and when I went round the only person who spoke to me (from the hallway) was his nan shame she lives far away

clearmydebts

I think he might be confused if that is how he was brought up and now he is going out with you and you aren't into material things.

I am also not into material things but am lucky cos OH isn't either and is very supportive of my creative pursuits, but he is a musician himself so is into creativity as well.

Your OH needs to be more supportive but maybe when he is away from that environment he will realise that there is more to life than flashy cars and big houses.

P.S. -don't be intimidated by the Mum building a house. That is a very common thing to do in Ireland and cheaper than buying in an estate. Well it was til the house price crash! 50% of my friends have built their own houses (most 5-6 bedrooms) and none of them are loaded!

Dinah93

I don't think he's really all that materialistic, he wants his family to be comfortable, but after that he'd rather have the time than the money. His dad works insanely long hours, and I think he's seen that and decided its not for him.

Called him up and spoke to him, and he apologised, said he had put it very badly, he just wanted me to be prepared that it might not work out how I hope it will. Well it's not just hope damnit, I'm putting a lot of effort into it too! I'll show him!

Boguht myself a dress on ebay tonight, Still means I'll have made more than £550 off my ebay sales in Jan so far, but I figured I need a bit of a treat every so often. Am also trying to find a canvas of the right size for a painting idea I have stuck in my head. I'm as bad as Cinny this evening!

Cinny91

Dinah93 wrote: »

I'm as bad as Cinny this evening!

Heyy!!.. I'll have you know I'm.. oh jeez, who am I trying to kid? In my mind you have to treat yourself to something every now and then. Only my treats seem to be now now now rather than then. *ahem* I'm a very bad model of a MSer, but compair me to the rest of my family and I'm a right scrooge. I will get better at this!

Right, had a NSD yesterday. Trying for another one today and I should be able to keep it up until friday when I have to pay my board, then I'm going OH's at the weekend so should spend little if nothing then too. Still annoyingly nervous around OH's parents. Last time I went around I managed to confess my love for Gary Barlow :rolleyes:

Hope you're okay once you get to work, Dinah, keep on trucking Missy!