MSE Parent Club - Part 2

Lu_T

Imogen had a fab day in the snow with Daddy. He worked from home as no way that we could get her to MIL's.

Here's what she got up to:
http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh9/Imogensmum/P1020013.jpg
http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh9/Imogensmum/P1020014.jpg
http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh9/Imogensmum/P1020015.jpg
http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh9/Imogensmum/P1020016.jpg

And then this evening she decided she wanted to be Ali Baba!
http://i252.photobucket.com/albums/hh9/Imogensmum/P1020017.jpg

Bay - glad you had a better day.

Nad - can you not persuade them with the reasons you gave us? His toys, familiar env't, his nap?

Becles - that last picture with all three of them shows one of your boys brandishing a snowball with intent! Who was on the receiving end of that one?!

Seeing the consultant in the morning for first check-up (I had a c-section last time). They reckon the national average for natural birth after c-section is 75%, but in our area it's only 36%:eek: Don't really want another section, so want to know what's going on!

Sami_Bee

Nadnad - you'll never know if you don't give it a try Chris used to have his naps in his buggy at the childminders, I didn't think he would but she used to wait until he looked a bit tired, pop him in with dummy and blanket and off he'd go. if you take some of the soft tiles and a bag of his toys I'm sure he'd be fine if a little hyper from any choccies

SusanC_2

Lu_T wrote: »

Seeing the consultant in the morning for first check-up (I had a c-section last time). They reckon the national average for natural birth after c-section is 75%, but in our area it's only 36%:eek: Don't really want another section, so want to know what's going on!

Could be that they encourage people to have planned caesarean sections (or don't discourage them) in which case the figures for those not wanting a repeat caesarian may be better. Home birth reduces your chances of a CS but of course it would depend on how comfortable you would be with something like that. Hope it works out for you anyway.

Agutka

Nadnad, I have the same problems here, everyone who kindly agrees to babysit, only wants to do it at their house, so every time I have to pack the house up and deliver baby. It's ridiculous. My mum even has these horrendous stairs in her hallway and she refused to put up a stairgate (cause it wouldn't look nice :eek:). She only put one up for xmas when we were there for a week, but other than that I have heart attacks when Joseph runs out of sight. Lovely.

LuT - I was told I would have to have a section the second time round, unless I went into labour naturally early . Not having had a birthing experience a part of me doesn't mind as the fear of the unknown is still strong. Not that I'll get to experience anything at all if they don't get my gallstones out soon.:rolleyes:

Bad news here yet again. SIL has just suffered a second miscarriage, with an ectopic inbetween. I really don't know how to talk to her. It must be devastating, but she's always acting strong and happy, like it doesn't matter. I want a niece!

Sami_Bee

Agutka wrote: »

Nadnad, I have the same problems here, everyone who kindly agrees to babysit, only wants to do it at their house, so every time I have to pack the house up and deliver baby. It's ridiculous. My mum even has these horrendous stairs in her hallway and she refused to put up a stairgate (cause it wouldn't look nice :eek:). She only put one up for xmas when we were there for a week, but other than that I have heart attacks when Joseph runs out of sight. Lovely.

My mum has a pressure fit gate so there's no evidence of it when we're not there
although its for upstairs she doesn't have one at the bottom coz she never lets him out of her sight.
I'm obviously blessed with grandparents my mum has high chair, little table n chairs, buggy, dvds, toys, bed, nappies, food and spare clothes I could (as I did when hubby ended up in hospital 200 miles away:eek:) just run off and leave him with her :T the only thing I take if he stays there is the monitor and medicine in case he's ill.
MIL has toys, bed, highchair and cutlery stuff so I have to take some essentials when we visit but that is usually the little bag I take everywhere with nappies n snacks etc in it, I'd only take more if he would be staying over which is once in a blue moon.

Has anyone seen that book I think its called The Good Grandparent Guide I wonder if it would cause huge offense or sort them out :rotfl:

SusanC_2

Those who've had caesareans may find ICAN useful. Also this lady had caesareans and normal births (including homebirths) and has a lot of useful information:
"Birth bibliography - must read books for expectant moms!
Everything I know about Childbirth in a Nutshell.
Childbirth resources
Birth articles"

Savvy_Sue

Agutka wrote: »

Bad news here yet again. SIL has just suffered a second miscarriage, with an ectopic inbetween. I really don't know how to talk to her. It must be devastating, but she's always acting strong and happy, like it doesn't matter. I want a niece!

Just a suggestion, but could you tell your brother that you don't know what to say, but that if either of them want to talk you will listen and cry with them? I think it can be particularly hard for the chaps.

Becles

Lu_T wrote: »

Becles - that last picture with all three of them shows one of your boys brandishing a snowball with intent! Who was on the receiving end of that one?!

Me - grr!

Woke up this morning and we've had rain overnight and it's washed all the snow away

Agutka wrote: »

Bad news here yet again. SIL has just suffered a second miscarriage, with an ectopic inbetween. I really don't know how to talk to her. It must be devastating, but she's always acting strong and happy, like it doesn't matter. I want a niece!

Sorry to hear that. Could you get some information for her? Maybe if you print off some pages from here:
http://www.miscarriageassociation.org.uk/
and then say if she would like to talk to you, you'll be there for her. It would let her know you are thinking of her and gives her the chance to talk if she wants to.

nadnad

Lu - they just wouldnt come here, my mum has never said that in so many words i suppose, but its just the whole "you could leave him HERE with me", never "i could come over". i dont even like to ask i feel as if i'm putting her out - even though as i've said before she took my niece once a week for most of a day from she was about 5 months old. And my MIL is a strange being who i know wouldnt feel comfortable in my house.

Sami - yeah i guess i could just see what happens if i left him there. You are SOOOO lucky! you've got the best parents/inlaws in the world! mind you so do most of my friends - their parents are gagging to take the babies for a while!

Agutka - it seems just me and you have been dealt the short straw when it comes to babysitters! We havent been out as a couple (day or night) since Oz was born, as nobody would ever volunteer despite the many "oh wouldnt it be nice to get out for a meal" hints we drop! Well actually we got out once when my friend very kindly offered when we went to a wedding - shes got 2 kids and another on the way and she is more helpful than either sets of parents!

janey_uk

SusanC wrote: »

Could be that they encourage people to have planned caesarean sections (or don't discourage them) in which case the figures for those not wanting a repeat caesarian may be better.

I had to do some research on this when I had mine as she was breech until very late and I was being told I had to have a c-section. The stats on c-s's vary enormously from Trust to Trust depending (literally) on the particular opinion of the midwives and consultants. After being told I would need a c-section and no discussion from my midwife I complained to the Consultant Midwife at my local hospital (very politely, I just asked for a second opinion and raised concern that I was not involved in the decision process). She met me and lo and behold there were several other options (including having an attempt at having the baby turned) that my midwife had ruled out without consulting me.

Ultimately you can't be forced to have a c-section you don't want and you are perfectly entitled to seek a second opinion as well as researching it yourself to make your own mind up. They may 'strongly advise', I think that is all though.

I was 'told' rather than 'advised' and didn't put up with it. I think the rule has to be go over staff if you aren't happy. There is a hierarchy like with anything else... what's more the managers often know they are not up to scratch (same goes for MWs and HVs) but can't do anything until women let them know formally.

After all the stress the baby turned herself the day I was booked in! I didn't request another MW once I had got the issue resolved (as I felt that would be running away) and my MW was uber-professional about it and respected my right to seek another view.