Simplifying Life - Mark II

mary43

Last pop in till I get back

Checked I've got everything:
ID for solicitor -not met her before so she needs it she says
Spare pair of specs -just in case
Medication -daren;t go without it
Thankyou card for Carers
Black boots and black bag
Sweater dress, long black cardigan, (best take dark grey coat in case.........)
Soap bag and all that goes with it
OH;s suit and shirt (borrowing foster daughters OH;s black tie in the morning)
Tissues and hankie - bound to need them !
Headache pills -bound to need them too !!
Spare undies
Phone charger -nearly forgot that !!

Cardboard boxes and carrier bags to bring back stuff in

Think that's it..........will get some flowers when we get there for my friend who's giving us b & b and disposable camera........not often the whole clan are together.

Honestly, you'd think we were going for a month !!!!

Back some time Saturday so will catch up with you then :j

ceridwen

MARY - Well that was my reaction as well.....ie agree with Firework that its not surprising that you're not feeling "normal" as you put it at the moment and it would be very surprising if you were. Think of it - your mother has been your mother for however-many-years it was - you've known her a long time now - so it would be very surprising in the circumstances if you werent "reacting". You're "human" - so to use a phrase I dont tend to go in for - but it seems apt right now - "cut yourself some slack". I guess that about sums it up....believe me...no-one is going to expect someone to have things all "together" and be all sorted and organised right now.

FIREWORK - I like my homemade soup I do and every time I make some I wonder why I dont do so more often. Homemade soup/some nice bread/a bit of decent cheese - who says meals have to be complicated?

Generally speaking - I guess thats another "lesson in life" that I've learnt today...there is a very aggressive character I know (unfortunately!!!) and I do my best to "steer clear" of them - but, with the best will in the world, it aint always possible (I'm working on it - give me time - I might think of a way....) and I've had some horrible accusations hurled at me by them. So right now - I'm on a glass or two of wine again (darn it!) and crying about it and asking myself how on earth someone could possibly hurl such untrue accusations at me. So - I have to remember that that says a lot more about them than anything else - what on earth can be going on in the mind of someone to do that? I've been accused of violence...of a pretty extreme nature too....ME!!!!!!!:eek: ...and thats a VERY upsetting accusation indeed to a pacifist...but I guess thats the whole reason just why this got hurled at me....precisely because I AM a pacifist. I've been racking my brains...and doubtless will continue to rack them....trying to think if I've ever gone in for physical violence in my entire life....and I can honestly only think of one thing in that entire time. Many years ago in an argument I slapped a boyfriend across his face - he slapped me back and the relationship was over on the spot - I never clapped eyes on him again.

So - I guess the Life Lesson to learn from this is that if someone wants to hurt you badly enough then they will accuse you of something that is the EXACT opposite of one of the most basic facets of your character. You know its so untrue - but its upsetting for all that....

Oh well....tomorrow is another day....finish the wine....and never mind the "chores" I'd listed off to do tonight....I'll head for some soothing music instead.....and a few deep breaths. I'm cutting myself some slack tonight....

ceridwen

MARY - just seen your latest post. Good luck...see you later...

Lula-Hula

Mary - I know you'll be gone & back before you read this but just to let you know that I will be thinking of you on friday love & hugs to you :kisses3:

Ceridwen - sorry I didnt read your post earlier so I could reply while you were online, so sorry to read that - how hideous, not surprised you're so upset. I hope by the time you read this your wine has taken effect & you are feeling better, love & hugs for you as well :kisses3:

best wishes to all
lula
xx

ceridwen

'Morning all...

Guess Mary might be back with us today? Hope things went okay Mary?

So - yay! its the weekend and pleasurable things to do again time.

On the theme of pleasurable - or rather not so pleasurable - things I feel a bit better about the aggressive character who threw accusations of violence at me earlier. I've been discussing this and its been pointed out to me that several aspects of this persons actions are suggestive of dementia - so I wont take it personally then and will make a policy of steering as clear as possible of them. It has been suggested to me that if I encounter them and they start up a conversation again (or to be more accurate - throw another tirade of words at me....words as weapons....hmmm.....now there's a concept to ponder on.....) that I literally pretend I havent seen them/havent heard them and keep moving. Thats something its never even crossed my mind to do to anyone ever....I guess that its the having been brought up to have manners....so if someone talks to you (or even, as in this case, talks AT you) that you listen/are polite/try to make it into some semblance of a two-way conversation....but I guess they could be right and the best thing might be to do just that if I dont manage to avoid this person....

Well...thats a form of simplifying.....avoid people who deliberately try to put stress into one's life...

Lula-Hula

ceridwen wrote: »

'Morning all...


Well...thats a form of simplifying.....avoid people who deliberately try to put stress into one's life...

Probably one of the most valuable & rewarding types of simplifying ever


Welcome back Mary - do hope everyone behaved as the occasion required & that you were able to focus on that itself

more hugs

lula
xx

Charis

ceridwen wrote: »

Well...thats a form of simplifying.....avoid people who deliberately try to put stress into one's life...

This was a timely reminder for me, having just come here from a rather peculiar email from a friend who wrote asking for advice (about something we are both studying), then threw my suggestions back at me saying she has no idea what I mean and implying that I don't either. She is prone to funny turns, as someone else has also noticed. Perhaps it's time to ignore her, although I suspect she has probably not got the faintest idea that her remarks can be so thoughtless.
It reminds me of that car sticker 'The more people I meet, the more I love my dog'.

mary43

Hello all and thanks for your kind thoughts.
Everything went ok, well as ok as these things can be. No arguments between me and brother - we even went to the solicitors together and didnt fall out............lol
Mums flat was as full as ever, despite brother saying a lot was destined for a boot fair being held at the care home...........seems he got it wrong......couple of people might be doing a boot fair later on and might have some of it. So, we piled it all up, emptied the drawers into boxes and bags to sort through when we got home. I've got to go down March 11th when the furniture is collected by a charity and they take bric a brac as well so I should be able to clear it all then.
Once the flats cleared then it can be sold back to the care home, grant of probate be sorted and hopefully, be all over and done with early April (so solicitor says)
Brother goes back to spain on Tuesday and has now given me two box files full of paperwork to do with mums finances - now its down to me to sort through them and send relevant stuff to solicitors.
Been interesting sorting through the stuff we brought back - letters from the war office when mums brother went missing, later about him being killed in action and two letters he wrote to my mum, as well as various birth and death certificates I hadn't got for my family history. Two more boxes to go through and thats it -thinking Mum will have to have a 'shoebox' like my Dads got of bits and pieces -driving test application, co-op membership card and bits and pieces like that.............so for a bit I'll be 'cluttered' till I simplify it all.............plus my brain..................lol

weezl74

ceridwen wrote: »

I guess thats another "lesson in life" that I've learnt today...there is a very aggressive character I know (unfortunately!!!) and I do my best to "steer clear" of them - but, with the best will in the world, it aint always possible (I'm working on it - give me time - I might think of a way....) and I've had some horrible accusations hurled at me by them. So right now - I'm on a glass or two of wine again (darn it!) and crying about it and asking myself how on earth someone could possibly hurl such untrue accusations at me. So - I have to remember that that says a lot more about them than anything else - what on earth can be going on in the mind of someone to do that? I've been accused of violence...of a pretty extreme nature too....ME!!!!!!!:eek: ...and thats a VERY upsetting accusation indeed to a pacifist...but I guess thats the whole reason just why this got hurled at me....precisely because I AM a pacifist. I've been racking my brains...and doubtless will continue to rack them....trying to think if I've ever gone in for physical violence in my entire life....and I can honestly only think of one thing in that entire time. Many years ago in an argument I slapped a boyfriend across his face - he slapped me back and the relationship was over on the spot - I never clapped eyes on him again.

So - I guess the Life Lesson to learn from this is that if someone wants to hurt you badly enough then they will accuse you of something that is the EXACT opposite of one of the most basic facets of your character. You know its so untrue - but its upsetting for all that....

I know I am only a lurker on this here thread, not feeling I have much to share about the simple life:o, but I just wanted to send lots of love to you ceridwen, and to join with all your other MSE pals in wondering what form of madness made someone hurl such untrue and stinging words at you! It made me quite furious to read:mad:. I hope the wine and relaxation from your chores did the trick! And very glad from your follow up post that you found a way to reframe it that makes it less horrible.

:kisses3::coffee:have a kiss and a cuppa from me,

Love weezl x

mary43

ceridwen - just re-read your post...(was too wrapped up in myself)........so sorry you've been treated so badly.............obviously by someone who is a pretty insecure person I'd think - and as you say, lessons learned from it - doesn't stop it hurting though I'm sure.
So big hugs ((((((((((:o )))))))))) -don't have too much of the 'falling down water'.......just enough to relax xx