Simplifying Life - Mark II

Aril

Hello virtual friends:j :j
Just a very quick post from me as I'm technically "working" but the last student in is beavering away quite happily.
This is my latest find which I saw on a card in the town....the small person looked absolutely mortified as I stopped to copy it down and couldn't get me out of there fast enough:rotfl: :rotfl:
To the world you may just be another person but to one person you may be the world.
I found it very moving and of some comfort when to be honest at times I am guilty of being an old trout to those who live with me;)
Arilxx

ceridwen

Firework and Mary.....and this to me personally is the main concern I have...about keeping ones headspace uncluttered.

It is amazing how stuff can accummulate again. I know that some years back a friend of mine told me that she had lost everything due to a fire - well, it wasnt that many years later that she was telling me this and her house was jampacked with stuff again....and its not a small house....

Its difficult I know - sometimes stuff functions as a security blanket and it can be (is - in my experience!) difficult to get a handle on this. I guess the other way of looking at it - that I try to remind myself of - is that the more stuff one has then the more stuff one has to "guard" and insure and keep clean and tidy. Its working out the right balance between the two that can be difficult sometimes.

I try to remind myself that if I had no possessions at all in my house - then would I actually care that much if someone did get in without my permission one way or the other? Well - they could still damage my house - but they couldnt damage any possessions if I didnt have any.....hmmm....that IS a thought and one to try to work one's way towards perhaps?

I often think "If I knew then what I know now" about possessions - as well as life generally. As in - if I had known what I know now about what stuff would actually genuinely fulfil a useful/enjoyable purpose in my life - then I wouldnt have accummulated nearly so much of it - as I would have been much more aware about what would actually serve a purpose for me. Once one has actually got the stuff concerned then its a lot harder to get rid of it - as one wonders whether it "might come in handy" sometime...not an easy question I know...and one a lot of us (including me) struggle with.

I guess I should go off and remind myself of an incident many years ago now...when I was first setting up home a member of a church I belonged to offered me my pick of a lot of stuff she had accummulated over the years to help me out...and I didnt actually want it. I really appreciated the gesture - particularly as I barely knew her. It was a very nice thought - but I guess it demonstrated that this stuff had cost her time and money to get - but was pretty valueless to someone else (ie me at that point).

I recall another incident where I went off to join in a weekend away that an acquaintance from that church had organised for young people he knew and when I got there early he just took me into the kitchen of the home of people who were wardens or summat of the church in question and said "they have given permission for anyone of us to help ourselves to whatever drink, etc we need" - so we duly got ourselves a drink and I was astonished (and touched) at someone having so little regard for their possessions that I as a total stranger was able to wander round their kitchen freely....At that time I recall that I used to take much the same attitude - "Oh...a group of strangers looking lost...theres my home...help yourself to a cup of coffee" and it wasnt abused.....errrr....but I know that I am a lot more possessive about my stuff these days....so it would be a total counsel of perfection that I couldnt cope with these days to do this now...but I guess it would serve me well to remember those days sometimes.......

ceridwen

Aril wrote: »

Hello virtual friends:j :j
Just a very quick post from me as I'm technically "working" but the last student in is beavering away quite happily.
This is my latest find which I saw on a card in the town....the small person looked absolutely mortified as I stopped to copy it down and couldn't get me out of there fast enough:rotfl: :rotfl:
To the world you may just be another person but to one person you may be the world.
I found it very moving and of some comfort when to be honest at times I am guilty of being an old trout to those who live with me;)
Arilxx

Aril

..old trout you are not...dont put yourself down gal....and thats a thought there in that quote...I guess if we make a difference to even one person in our life then thats summat...and hopefully it might be more than that....but every bit helps.

Maybe we dont even know....its nice if someone thanks us if they feel that we have made a difference.....I was personally pleased to see a P.M. from a new M.S.E. person in America greeting me this morning when I switched on to say that a post I had put up somewheres on M.S.E. (think it mighta been this thread?) had reassured them that they are not "mad" and imagining it about stuff going on in their lives and they had some useful links to show people they know about something that has been bothering them. Hi - Mr American guy if you are here with us now - and glad that post helped. Just as well that I can manage to get summat right sometimes - to counterbalance that ceridwen temper:cool: .

Aril - I'm sure the small person really appreciates having someone like you for a mother...its just "not done" for him to let you know at his age.;)

BEEMUZED - Congrats on reaching retirement...we'll try not to be too envious. Have a good one.

barefootlinzi

Hi everyone

Today I have got to contact the CAB to see if they can tell me if I am getting enough child tax credits. I am sure we are not - I am lucky if I have 6 hours a week at the moment and my partner earns 18K but we are getting the miminum amount of tax credits, so I am sure that's wrong. If I am right and we are susposed to get more then I can apply for the £500 maternity grant, that would be really helpful! I also have to do my online tax return today, it's getting nearer the deadline (end of the month) and i need to get a move on. By the way I have a small business as a cloth nappy advisor, but I haven't earnt any money from it since June!

I also must speak to the CAB about getting help with our rent. Does this post make it seem like we are a bunch of spongers?! When you choose to be a stay at home mum and are relying on one small income you need to take all the benefits you can!

The trouble is everytime I try the CAB there are no advisors free, I expect Jan is the busiest time of month for people trying to sort out their finances.

firework

hi all,

been de-cluttering all morning and cleared out some of the post christmas junk. started off badly though as my ds has a habit of leaving his tiny coathangers (and clothes and toys and games and and and.....) laid about the floor and this morning i stood on one in the kitchen and went flying across the laminate! landed on the floor, sure i pulled a few muscles in my neck on the way. had to laugh though as oh came in and started a conversation with me about something totally unrelated without even asking why i was sitting on the kitchen floor??!!!!

next thing: We got a load of pairs of rubbish tweezers out of christmas crackers (who makes these crackers ???) so binned them - 1 hour later oh comes in and goes - oh where's them rubbish tweezers i need them!!!! too late - mr wheely bin got em! then while clearing kitchen worktop and talking away at the same time i accidentally put 6p in the bin wth some sweet wrappers and stuff i had in my hand at the same time - of course the bin was full to the brim and i had just emptied ds's leftover rice krispies into it yuk! - 6p gone.

never mind - i managed to simplify one miniscule job today that i usually make a mess of. getting sugar from the sugar jar into the bowl. usually end up with it all over worktop and floor resulting in needing to clear worktop before i start and clean it after and then hoover the floor - 15 minute job ! lol! . was just thinking "oh - i NEED to go and buy a funnel" - then i thought ... why don't i make one from a piece of a4 paper? so i did it. took 1 minute - result: sugar in dish and no mess to tidy up after . simple.

hooray! on with the clearing - todays mission to see my dining table by teatime.

Charis

firework wrote: »

i managed to simplify one miniscule job today that i usually make a mess of. getting sugar from the sugar jar into the bowl. usually end up with it all over worktop and floor resulting in needing to clear worktop before i start and clean it after and then hoover the floor - 15 minute job ! lol! . was just thinking "oh - i NEED to go and buy a funnel" - then i thought ... why don't i make one from a piece of a4 paper? so i did it. took 1 minute - result: sugar in dish and no mess to tidy up after . simple.

If you can get hold of a wide necked funnel (used for jam making) either from a cheap shop or a charity shop, you will be impressed how many things you can decant from packets to jars without spilling anything. Rice, sugar, lentils, beans, pasta... I sheepishly admit to spilling things for years while I had a jam funnel in the cupboard. Didn't connect the problem with the solution. Now I don't have to go looking for a clean piece of paper every time I fill the sugar jar.

Charis

barefootlinzi wrote: »

Today I have got to contact the CAB to see if they can tell me if I am getting enough child tax credits. I am sure we are not - I am lucky if I have 6 hours a week at the moment and my partner earns 18K but we are getting the miminum amount of tax credits, so I am sure that's wrong.

Have you tried Martin's benefits checker?

http://www.moneysavingexpert.com/protect/benefits-check

I also must speak to the CAB about getting help with our rent.
The trouble is everytime I try the CAB there are no advisors free

Can you phone your CAB for an appointment? We can't phone ours as it's only open about four hours a week but we can email one in a nearby town and they are very good at answering promptly.

http://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/cabdir.ihtml

In the meantime, this might help:

http://www.adviceguide.org.uk/index/life/benefits/help_with_your_rent_-_housing_benefit.htm

mary43

bemused - well done on the retirement - you'll soon get used to it I'm sure

Aril - love the quote and funnily enough I bought a fridge magnet this morning from the charity shop with that same quote on it. I'm giving it to ex foster girl. She means more to me than she can ever know and where once I helped her, now she does the same for me but much more.

ceridwen - re 'stuff'..............many years ago with the invention of the 'poll tax' we found ourselves with bailiffs at the door having been unable to pay it. The only way we could manage was to sell some of the better pieces we had at the time...............my son was so upset for us. I sold things that I had spent years 'collecting' but at the time I told my son, they are just 'things' and we own them, they don't own us. (to be honest I can;t remember much about what they were !)I have to remind myself of that from time to time and I think to a degree we accumulate 'stuff' as a kind of security. Some things are precious to us but it can be oh so easy to fill a space just because there's a space to be filled. I know I have that problem and old habits die hard. After we'd sold stuff and there were 'gaps' they were quite quickly filled - not with things of any value or quality but pleasing to the eye and filling the space that would have reminded me of our predicament at the time. I'm trying really hard to get out of that mode along with the 'hanging on' on stuff for sentimental reasons

firework - you're doing well - you've made a start and know where you're going - reminds me ............my kitchen table needs a clear up - newspapers, yesterdays and todays, fruit bowl with everything in it but fruit and dread to think what else !!!

linzi - no you're not scroungers. You just want and need whats rightfully yours. It is a problem with CAB I know having been a volunteer for our local branch some years back before it closed. It was only open two half days a week and appointments couldn't be made -first come first seen. We did have telephone advisors as well so maybe you could get some advice that way if you can't get to see them.
Good luck.

firework

just been thinking about the 30 day rule for buying what we think we need/want. wondering if i can apply it to my ds of 7 . do you think 30 days is too long for a nipper to wait to spend his money? he has some birthday money still to come (probably about £100 - we like him to save most of it (is that unfair?) but we'll let him spend a bit - what do you think is fair? his birthday is Christmas Day (poor lamb). i'm thinking maybe he should save two thirds of it but be allowed to spend a third. i'm conflicted between thinking he should save for the future and letting him blow it - it's his moeny after all...

advice please.

firework

on a simplifying note

got a cardi for Christmas off my mam, £20 from M&S nice but not my style really so she kindly got refund and I decided to use the £20 to simplify my wardrobe. went to asda (for my sins) when i got there i remembered why i don't go very often !! the noise was almost unbearable, buzzers and beepers going, someones trolley wheel sqeaking all around the store, babies crying, music playing and then the tannoy announcements on top of it all - my head was bouncing when i left!! but not before i got myself 7 pair plain black sox for £5, 2 pairs of "lounge" pants - one black, one grey, for £3 a pair (bit like a jersey cotton tracky bottom - ideal for lounging or sleeping in and will match whatever top i stick on with them), one thermal vest £4, one plain black vest £3 - my back is aways cold so rather than bump the heating on - i wear a vest under my main top. and one plain black long sleeve jersey top for £1.75. total spend £19.75!!! much better value for me than one item i won't ever wear.

i can now get rid of the years old Christmas presents that i have had - the scary pink socks with cats on!!! and the saggy old pj's with teddy bears on lol! think approaching 40 ...it's time to ditch the teddies - especially as i'm not a cutesy type!

can't wait to have my simple clothes in my wardrobe - don't have to waste time matching my socks up - they all match anyway (i avoided the ones with coloured toes for this reason !) i have never worn matching underwear since about 20 years ago - i just buy black black black . in fact if it was up to me i would just have all the same style and colour of socks, pants, bras, jeans etc. .... er, oh - hang on - it IS up to me !:rotfl:

why do we feel obliged to keep/wear/use what someone else has given us regardless of whether we like it... or is that just me then?