Baby vs. Debt

smk77

Mely wrote: »

I know people dont work 24/7. Leaving there children, to go work isnt right. A baby should be nurtured by its mother not left with a childminder etc. Having a baby is a blessing and not a right, as some women think today!

My wife is going back to work part time in the new year following 10 months on maternity leave. Her mother is looking after our little boy 3 mornings a week. I think that a strong relationship between a child and their grandparents is important. For 2 afternoons he is going to nursery where he'll get the chance to play with other children.

Personally, I feel that the above mix is ideal for my son and our finances however I wouldn't say other people's opinions aren't right.

happytails

Congrats OP on the news of your pregnancy :j I am due 27th Feb and we also have no savings and have debts to pay - We will manage, dont know if you've had a scan yet but the feeling you get when you see your baby on that screen is the best - no matter how much or less you have in the bank!

I think its a great idea that your SIL can look after baby when you go back to work - and a hell of alot cheaper than a childminder!!!

And to Mely, I plan to go back to work p/t when my baby is about 1yr old as i dont want to live off benefits forever. I dont think you are very maternal to suggest there is no point in having a baby if you plan to go back to work - I dont think that many of us could afford to stay at home and its not like you are leaving your child Alone by itself and also children in a social environment (ie nursery) become more confident and sociable people. I appreciate that it is your opinion but there is no shame in working after you've had a child.

Sarah & beanette 22 weeks today!!!:T

GracieP

happytails wrote: »

also children in a social environment (ie nursery) become more confident and sociable people.

I really don't mean to offend but almost all research suggests that children usually fare best when their mother is the primary care-giver. Followed by care from a close relative, followed by a nanny/child-minder. Creche/nursery care is usually the least beneficial for a child. I'm not saying it's a bad option, and in many cases depending on alternative care available or the personality of the child it is the most suitable. But there is very little evidence to suggest that children in nursery care socialise better than they would otherwise, the opposite is in fact true.

In fact many recent studies have shown that home-schooled children tend to have superior social skills to children who attend regular schools. Putting children in an environment with large groups of peers is not the best way to teach them to interact with others. Introducing other children in groups of 2/3 is best. In fact peer play is really only sought by most children in the late toddler stages.

Again, this depends on the child, the creche and the alternatives available. But if a very young child is being put into a creche for the sole purpose of socialisation it wouldn't hurt to look at other options for the child to interact with others.

LillyJ

I am not pregnant yet and don't have any children but I most certainly will be going back to work when any future children are born.
I have worked hard to build up a career to provide for me and my family and I enjoy my work. I don't want to wait until I am in my late 30's or early 40's when I have "had" my career as some people do, I would like to have children whilst I am young (I am 23). It isn't just for financial reasons - we could survive comfortably and pay the mortgage on OH's wage.
I want to show my children work ethic, provide for them financially, be a happy Mum who is living her life as well as looking after her children, etc.
We have considered my OH becoming a full time Dad which we may consider still, as I am the main earner in the family.
Are you trying to say there is no "point" in most Dad's having a family? (as most Dad's work after all).
Both my parents worked full time when I was young, and I do not feel I have missed out on anything at all.
My best friend is on Mat leave at the moment and is loving every minute of it, however she may not go back when it is time. That is fine and her decision, but her OH works full time in his own business (mostly 6-7 days a week), and he is still enjoying their daughter a great deal. You don't have to be with your child 24/7 to be a good parent.

Mely

LillyJ.... what you describe is a typical 'have your cake and eat it' scenario! Not wanting to give your career up for selfish and not monetary reasons, and STILL wanting a child!
Im not mentioning fathers that work as a babys/childs place is with its mother.
And i suspect the mothers who cant get back to work quick enough once the novelty of staying home with a baby has worn off, wont be breatfeeding or bothering to express milk?

tinypawz

Oh dear.....i think we have a little troll on this thread

OP congratulations again. Don't be put off my other people perceptions about what you and OH decide to do re: the best way to raise your child, it is after all YOUR choice and YOUR child.

People (Mely) really should learn to mind thier own business, these forums are for support and advice, not to hear a disapproving voice!

ps: Mely, incase you haven't noticed, we are in the 21Century, women have the CHOICE to breastfeed or not.

And before you get your knickers in a knot and light on me, I did breastfeed, MY choice and I am a single working mother! So have at it!

Mely

Tinypawz....troll? My word your hair must be a mess!:eek: :rotfl:
As for me minding my own business this is a PUBLIC forum thank you very much, and i am entitled to my own opinion just as you are.:rolleyes:
Please take a chill pill for goodness sake!:T

Former_MSE_Andrea

Evening

Just a couple of reminders to everyone...

We'd like to keep this forum a friendly place. If you can't say something nicely please don't say it.

Secondly, please remember just because someone has a "different" opinion to the norm doesn't necessarily make them a troll.

Thanks!

Andrea

tinypawz

Mely, Andrea

I was not calling mely a 'troll', I was refering to mely's very different opinion and I must have mistakenly interpreted that for her 'trolling' for a little arguement to start.

I aploigies if I have has offended anyone.:o

Mely

Thank you Andrea:D
Now can we please get back on subject matter:T