She just can't help herself...and we need to save!!

asandwhen

I swear that this post is about me - My g/f (soon to be wife in 4months) is the same - although she has got alot better lately - she would think nothing on spending £100 on a pair of shoes - She has about 30 pairs - she has 2 yes 2 wardrobes full of clothes and still uses half of my wardrobe - She is always complaining that she has no clothes.
Although to be fair we both earn a decent wage.

mr218

why do you guys entrust your money to a person whom you cannot rely on to spend it wisely for the both of you. tell your girlfriend that you are the aggrieved party and not her and you should be the one throwing a fit.

get rid of joint credit card. tell her that you are now saving religiously for the house deposit. as a concession you can say that you will take care of the majority of household expenses, but she needs to contribute as much as she can.

i understand that you feel that love should not be governed by money and that your money is her money as well. but if she is treating your money as her money rather than 'our' money, then you see that you have a problem.

I dont know if your gf truly loves you. but if she does she will not expect money from you to keep her shopping habits going. my feeling is that she is taking you for granted and is assuming that her job is done because she has found you. and you are goign to fund the lifestyle she wants. that is ok as long as it is explicitly understood and you can afford to fund the lifestyle. but these are not the attributes you want in a life partner.

you need to do some big thinking. talk to your family (what are their impressions of her spending habits) and friends. remember in the end it is your money (since you are not married) and you should have a greater if not equal say in how it is spent.

Turning_into_scrooge

My partners ex was just the same only it turned out that he was just a meal ticket to her. He constantly tried to talk to her to get her to spenp less and save but to no avail. Eventually he pulled the reins in and gave her pocket money, she found someone else and left him. Obviously the money meant more to her than he did. He's thankful that he cut up her credit cards before she left or he knows she would of taken them to the hilt and never paid back.

virgin_moneysaver

my brothers ex-wife was the same - spend,spend,spend - if he tried to put his foot down she threatened to leave him & take their only child with her - this worked every time & she got them further into debt - I said to call her bluff as she would leave the child with anyone as long as she didn't have to look after her, she'd be giving her back inside a week & the child gravitated towards her dad anyway. Well the upshot was that when his wife was supposed to be visiting a relative in another town she had actually flown abroad to meet a guy she had met in a chatroom & left the child behind. It all went 't*ts up' (doh!) & he took her back but she only stayed until she sorted out a place for herself back home. My brother was left with the child & all the debt!!

BertieMeldrew

Tim_L wrote:

Dump her. She's self centred and vain, she is already 10 grand in debt, has her spending on absolute junk completely out of control, and if you stick together she is going to destroy your life. There is no way you will be able to pull her around, and the act of trying will probably terminally harm the relationship in any case.

Having read all the threads to this I reckon Tim has hit the nail on the head...

Lasting relationships are built on mutual trust, respect and love. I don't think she is reciprocating any of these. I think if you lost you're job she'd be off like a shot.

Sorry! She needs to learn some harsh realities of life!

Willsnarf1983

get a grip!!!!, why the hell has she got such easy access to all you money!, its YOUR money and as she is working why share urs? if u have to have a joint account for bills then transfer what is needed and then so be it, at least u'll be able to save and then maybe by the time u saved up for the deposit she will etiher got control or u will have realised that she will ruin ur life as well as hers!


Will