She just can't help herself...and we need to save!!

Sofa_Sogood

zincoxide wrote:

I've tried the direct talk, I've tried the loving talk, I've tried talking & explaining...thinking of trying it with subtitles next!

I'm rofl laughing Sorry

calleyw

Not being funny but why are you letting her have access to the money in the first place when you know she is so bad with money.

This may not sound very nice when you are suppose to be a couple. But you are not working towards the same goals. And until that happens there would be no way in hell would I be letting her have access to my hard earned money and a 5K bonus.

Fair enough there are household bills to be paid. Do you both contribute towards them.

I personally would until she can prove that she is no longer spending all over the place not have access to your money. Keep all of the finanical side of your relationship seperate. Own bank accounts, own savings and credit cards etc.

Only have a joint account for household bills that you each contribute to.

Then you can save money. As it seems she is unable to. If she spends it then she will have to pay it back. When you need to buy something for the household it needs to be joint decision and you both pay towards it.

If she claims you are being a tight git tell her how do you think the rich stay rich they keep there money by being tight and not wasting it.

I wish you the best of luck but as she really needs to have a light bulb moment and even with 10K of debt she obviously has not had it yet.

If she has wardrobe of clothes and bathroom cabinet full of makeup and cosmetics she does NOT need any more. So saying she does is just rubbish.

But I think you have hit the nail on head when you say that she acts like a child and you are enabling her. Stop it now. Just keep saying no don't feel gulity this is your future you have to think about. Broken record will work but may take some time. But you can't make her change unless she wants to. And to blunt it is obvious that she does not want to.

You need to make her see what would happen if you lost your job how would cope. You need to have 3 months worth of living costs in the bank.


Can't think of anything else.



Yours

Calley

elona

Hate to be obvious - but it is your hard earned money!

Why is she able to spend it?

Give her "housekeeping".

But even when I and DH were first married I hated not having my own money - when we had children then it became "our " money and I felt really responsible to use it wisely.

Sofa_Sogood

On a serious note zincoxide, you could always let her read the posts on the Debt-Free Wannabe board....

zincoxide

Brutal response...but exactly what I thought I would hear!!

I've downloaded the budgeting tool from here and am filling in our spending onto that, hopefully when she sees that plus the pile of receipts for her then it will cause said lightbulb moment (although I'm thinking a sledgehammer moment may be more successful!)

Sofa_Sogood

zincoxide wrote:

Brutal response...but exactly what I thought I would hear!!

I've downloaded the budgeting tool from here and am filling in our spending onto that, hopefully when she sees that plus the pile of receipts for her then it will cause said lightbulb moment (although I'm thinking a sledgehammer moment may be more successful!)

That's a start

Now introduce her to the eBay board and let her have fun selling the unwanted stuff

calleyw

zincoxide wrote:

(although I'm thinking a sledgehammer moment may be more successful!)

LOL!!!!! Should not laugh but it made me smile.

Somes times it takes being brutal to get it through. Maybe she equates money and things with love and happiness.

And to be truthful we humans can be happy with very little. It is everyone else that makes us think that we if don't have an Ipod or YSL jeans that we are a not a good person.

Being a nice and good person comes from inside and is nothing to do with the things you own.

All the best.

Yours


Calley

Brian_Potter_2

zincoxide wrote:

But now, since I earn a lot every month with a great bonus every quarter, she can't help but spend it. £4500 in one week this month!!

What cost £4,500?

Sofa_Sogood

Brian_Potter wrote:

What cost £4,500?

I doubt it'll have been the Rola Cola

44pinkpink

What if she takes control of the budget planner...might sound daft but she might enjoy it and might start to realise how much she wastes money on trivial things.