She just can't help herself...and we need to save!!

zincoxide

La Senza underwear
A new bed (I was only going to buy a mattress topper)
Her dress for my company ball
Toiletries
And just odds and sods...not much to show for it as far as I can see!!

elona

Why not set up a system that saves automaticaly?


So that there is a direct debit every month.

Wolfhound

OH says, you should come home on Friday and tell her you've lost your job and she is now the breadwinner, give her the weekend to think it over. She'll either do nothing or panic but you'll have the answer to your question.

P.S. Hmmm, that answer came too easy to him, i'd better watch my step with the Christmas prezzies.Ha Ha.

hobo28

I'm going to sound harsh here but here goes.....

You can't change people unless they want to change. I spent years trying to change my ex. She is who she is. Spending is addictive and she's no real reason to stop at the moment.

Work out a sensible "allowance" for the both of you and put it into a seperate bank account each. Stop her access to the rest of the money and credit cards. My mate did this except he never cancelled his wifes cards so when she ran out of money, she just put it on her card!

If this doesn't work, I'd think seriously about if you have a future together.

Sofa_Sogood

hobo28 wrote:

I'm going to sound harsh here but here goes.....

You can't change people unless they want to change. I spent years trying to change my ex. She is who she is. Spending is addictive and she's no real reason to stop at the moment.

Work out a sensible "allowance" for the both of you and put it into a seperate bank account each. Stop her access to the rest of the money and credit cards. My mate did this except he never cancelled his wifes cards so when she ran out of money, she just put it on her card!

If this doesn't work, I'd think seriously about if you have a future together.

I was a spendaholic hobo, and I wanted to change. Mainly because I didn't/don't want to drive my husband into an early grave. Having said that, we both earn the same, but he does 95% of the work.

But I never wanted to change until I found this site. Even now I have 'lapses' .... and that's when there's an M&S sale (how rich is that? ) But I had my 'moments' where I'd spend too much money. I wish I could reverse it now, because I can't even remember what I bought - it was all so inconsequential. Even on here. The Grabbit board was the only board at one time .... for me at least.

If you gave some people access to £4,500, they'd spend it. It's as simple as that. zincoxide needs to put limits on his, and his girlfriends, spending.

I don't know whether it's a wind up or for real. Or someone's madly in love with someone who isn't respecting them.

I'd prefer it to be a wind up ..... it makes more sense (to me) that way

Addicted2Chocolate

I have some bad spending habits ( i should know better as i work with people who go bankrupt) and i know i am livng beyond my means, but i have realised i want a secure future so am making changes...but my point is i was never spending my husbands money. we have a joint account which covers all household bills and we pay the same into that even tho he earns more, i want to pay my way.
I do not understand why the OP other half has access to all his money. And no one has considered the psychological forces at play here....i picked up on the OP comments about her childhood and living on breadline...so maybe she spends the comfort herself? obviously this will not work long term..if i were the OP i woudl be trying to get her into some counselling.....if she refuses to change and thinks £4500 in one month is reasonable i cannot see a secure long term future,. i am sorry. Maybe if she could see the misery that debt brings people. Perhaps becuase her dent of £10K is on intrest free she thinks she could always do this in futuire so nothing to worry about...
I woudl advise OP to chnage the finances so she does not have access to his wages...tough love required. the way things are i expect she hs no idea hoiw much she is spending or how hard it was for OP to earn it!

Tim_L

Dump her. She's self centred and vain, she is already 10 grand in debt, has her spending on absolute junk completely out of control, and if you stick together she is going to destroy your life. There is no way you will be able to pull her around, and the act of trying will probably terminally harm the relationship in any case.

Halaku

Is she really hot? My girlfriend is the complete opposite, is really prudent with money and spending. If she's hot enough, I'm willing to trade

jen_jen_2

£4500 she is out of control :eek:

i would sit her down and show her that she could have thousands of lipsticks but that is not gonna keep a roof over her head, show her the money spent on rent could be spent on mortgage for something you own. ask her what her ambitions are? where does she want to be in 10 years, kids, cars, or lots more lipstick??

lipstick - will be unusable in around a year or so
clothes - will not fit or be out of date in a year or so
bed - well if she spent a lot on it will last a lifetime but will probably want a new one when move
underwear - how much can a girl wear? again wont fit in a year or so

otherwise dump her and get a more sensible girl, if she says its cause she never had anything when she was younger that is an excuse, she will never have anything when shes older either if she doesnt face facts now.

rchddap1

I wouldn't give her access to your cash. If she has cards that give her that access, destroy them and cancel them. If her name is on your current account...move current accounts, or take it off. She has to learn to control her spending.