Being made to go out for food after work

moggylover

I must admit I find it hard to understand the beef here. It looks to me as if they are aware that they need you to attend some training/discussion outside of working hours and have tried to make that enjoyable!

I don't know if things have changed since I was in staff positions, but we were often expected to put in extra hours without pay - it went with having a salary rather than a weekly wage. I would have considered it a very nice gesture that they took us away from the office and treated us to a meal to make up for that disruption. If they had only given you a days notice then I could see that it might be disruptive to whatever plans you had out of work - but I don't think most people would have a probem with a bit of "socialising" together with a bit of "training".

I'm not much of a drinker myself, so often found that works "do's" or "trips" could be a bit of a drag later in the evening - but I usually went and just excused myself when it all got too drunken for my taste. The earlier part of the evening was often quite enjoyable, and I think it is important to make an effort to get on with the people you work with - you do have to spend a fair amount of time around them;) .

Bite the bullet. Go along and eat some salad, although I agree that your weight definitely does not sound a problem (unless you are 4'2"!) and contrary to all the rubbish you read these days: an occasional slice or two of pizza is not going to put two stone on your hips and waist, nor are you going to end up addicted to junk food (although I don't really include pizza in junk food label anyway) after a couple of nights out!

In this scenario - I don't even think the employer is being unreasonable - I just think they thought it might be nice to socialise and get to know their staff in a less formal atmosphere. Make the most of that: there are enough really unpleasant bosses out there - give this new one a chance before you decide that is his intentions are dishonourable.

ceridwen

Okay...so maybe it would be awkward to bring one's own food in a restaurant...but another tack could be "I'm very sorry - and I didnt want to mention it before because its personal and the need never arose anyway - but I have such and such an illness that means I HAVE to eat regularly or else the illness makes itself felt".

I believe there are illnesses like that - worth a google to see which they are. Have a vague idea diabetes might be one of them - not sure on that though - as, fortunately, I dont have diabetes. As regards the pizza itself - allergies could be an explanation as to why you cant eat that - "I myself would LOVE to - but my allergies wont let me".

I understand the point others are making - but it boils down to blackmail to let the boss get away with it. I still think also it could be "thin end of the wedge" - they take those 2 evenings of your time as unpaid overtime and then come back for more later.

In fact - I think the best approach is basically being a bit devious "I really would like to...but I cant because of (very good reason they cant argue with)" - so it cant be seen as you refusing because you WANT to. You're not doing so - because, for a very good reason, you CANT.

The current economic climate is a thing to bear in mind - but from the point of view that employers are finding more and more excuses to get unpaid work from their employees. One has to draw the line - or you'll find your free time getting eaten up (that when you might need it to do a part-time job "on the side" to earn some extra money).

Sugar_Coated_Owl

Thank you to everyone for their replies.

To clarify, the manager is not new, she has been there for 2.5 years. I am paid by the hour. These evenings out are not being paid. All staff members tend to get along OK.

On the grand scheme of things I suppose 2 evenings out isn't going to kill me. I am just annoyed that we aren't being paid overtime. I just think they are sneaky by making it out to be some fun social evening eating pizza and talking about work.

Doodles

Hi, if it was me I think I'd go along for the first night and see how it went. If I found it horrendous, then I'd invent some sort of 'emergency' and not attend the second night.

You never know, it might be ok and you find yourself having a nice evening though.

But I do agree with you that being forced to do a work thing in your own time is wrong. I think alot of it depends on who you're with - I've worked with some lovely people who I wouldn't mind sharing an evening meal with and other times I would have hated spending a minute longer with some colleagues than my contract stated!

surreysaver

Get someone to ring you or something a half hour into it and say such and such is ill. They cannot train you in your own time! If they give you any paper work or anything tell them you cannot carry it home and to give it to you the next time you're at work. It sounds like it would be better if they did this in a lunch hour or something, when most people are at a lose end anyway.

surreysaver

Or maybe I just work in an environment that the company pays you for what you do. They expect you to do your work, but do not expect you to do more than that! But if people do, then that is okay. If people just want to do their hours and go home that is okay too. People work to live, not live to work. Unless you have no friends or family - but the reason some get divorced is because they spent too much time at work.

CFC

razorbladekisses wrote: »

Thank you to everyone for their replies.

To clarify, the manager is not new, she has been there for 2.5 years. I am paid by the hour. These evenings out are not being paid. One staff member cannot attend for religious reasons and another isn't sure she can stay behind. All staff members tend to get along OK. Apart from one no one really gets on with the manager.

On the grand scheme of things I suppose 2 evenings out isn't going to kill me. I am just annoyed that we aren't being paid overtime. I just think they are sneaky by making it out to be some fun social evening eating pizza and talking about work.

that's the way the cookie crumbles...I've been forced on social evenings too.

I don't know if you are still with your previous employer who referred you to OH; if you are I think you would be well advised to advertise your 'normality' in terms of being a team player and showing social skills...so go, and eat salad, they have that in pizza restaurants. Just say 'I don't like pizza, I'll have salad please.'

tomstickland

I can only assume that some people have a much more "us and them" relationship with their place of work compared with what I'm used to.
I go out drinking with work colleagues and we'd see a night out eating pizza and talking about work as a bit of fun.
Even if you don't have such a love in, I'd still regard a free night as part of a rebranding as interesting.
If anyone dislikes their employers enough to describe this as "blackmail" and "don't let them get away with it" then I suggest moving jobs.

nickyhutch

RBK, weren't you posting a week or two ago about not having many friends? Why not use this as an opportunity to practice socialising? You might enjoy it.

Kimitatsu

razorbladekisses wrote: »

Thank you to everyone for their replies.

To clarify, the manager is not new, she has been there for 2.5 years. I am paid by the hour. These evenings out are not being paid. One staff member cannot attend for religious reasons and another isn't sure she can stay behind. All staff members tend to get along OK. Apart from one no one really gets on with the manager.

On the grand scheme of things I suppose 2 evenings out isn't going to kill me. I am just annoyed that we aren't being paid overtime. I just think they are sneaky by making it out to be some fun social evening eating pizza and talking about work.

Being honest RBK you will be remembered more for NOT going than you if you do go. Even if you go and eat a lettuce leaf then the new management will notice and it will be remembered.

Whilst not attending is not in itself a case for redundancy, not being a part of the team or not fitting in can be, probably not in so many words but why put yourself in that position in the first place?

I am lactose and yeast intolerant so pizza is my worst nightmare :eek: but I still toddle along, eat salad, have a glass of fizzy water and then plead that the babysitter cant stay late. It keeps everyone happy.