Being made to go out for food after work

frugallass

My first instinct is to say 'don't go' but then I think it might do you more harm than good......

First of all, ask if you can claim these hours back as flexi-time - whether the meal is free or not they are still impinging on your personal time and it's only fair that they recognise this

Explain that you will be willing to attend but you do have another commitment on the same evening, so you will be planning to leave at say 9:00pm

Go to the event, do what you have to do and then when you are ready to leave say 'I've got another commitment at 9:30pm so would you please excuse me?'

tomstickland

This is MSE. It's a free meal.

I really don't understand why an invitation to a social event should prove to be such a problem.

surreysaver

tomstickland wrote: »

I really don't understand why an invitation to a social event should prove to be such a problem.

It's the principle. It is not an invitation, it is a demand. It is not a social event, it is a work event. Working for free - slave labour was supposed to have been abolished! The only people who work for free where I work are managers - any other member of staff who works overtime gets paid for it. Therefore, a lowley member of staff who puts in the same hours as a manager gets more money. That is wht we have carp managers where I work - anyone sensible just stays a normal member of staff!

surreysaver

Also, what is other staffs' take on it? Do any of them share your viewpoint on the situation? If so, you should all stick together. It might only be a couple of evenings now, but as soon as the new Joker gets his feet under the table he'll be doing this all the time. Nip it in the bud before it becomes normal practice.

ClareEmily

Spendless wrote: »

In your case I'd go and if pizza is really an issue, ask if you can order from the salad bar, say you don't like tomato puree or something.

Hey say you can't eat Gluten, that will be pizza and all other pasta dishes out of the window. My poor hubby can't eat wheat and would kill for a pizza.

ClareEmily

duchy wrote: »

Iplease don't embarass yourself by bringing your own food-getting asked to leave by the resturant will not help your employment prospects either.

I can now just imagine the OP sitting there with their packed lunch lol

[Deleted User]

Woo, looks like i won't have to work sunday now

foreign_correspondent

ceridwen wrote: »

Personally - I wouldnt go.

Two reasons:
- The food is unhealthy compared to what I normally eat (so I would be sitting there eating own food I had brought with me - or going hungry)

- The other - its MY time, not theirs. I would definitely feel "You want my time - you pay for it - and dont forget that its to be at overtime rate".

Its a pity that you have already told your manager you dont wish to go. But I think the situation could be retrieved if some necessary requirement in your own personal life came up "unexpectedly" and "at the last minute". Maybe - you could say some relative has come over ill unexpectedly and you have to be in attendance every hour going perhaps. I dont agree with lying basically - but in this case they are the ones that started the immoral behaviour - by trying to grab your own time for themselves for nothing.

What I am also wondering is whether this is the start of a "slippery slope" - ie they might come back with further excuses in the future to try and make the staff do unpaid overtime...in which case, even more necessary to make it plain NOW that you wont be doing it.

At an absolute bare minimum - if you do decide to "cave in" and go (and please dont!!!!) - then take your own food. Why should you have someone else's idea of how to eat inflicted on you? You could take subtle "revenge" for being forced to do unpaid overtime by making sure its very smelly, very messy food that takes a long time to eat - and sitting right by the culprit (ie the person that did this) and eating it.....loadsa garlic comes to mind. The cheese called "Stinking Bishop" comes to mind - it really does stink. I dont think they would be too anxious to repeat the forced "invitation" somehows..:D .

Another possibility for a bit of subtle "sabotage" is to come over ill unexpectedly....a bit of food poisoning or something....and then you can either do that at the start of the day in question (or - if you are playing fairer than them).....start "feeling ill" at the beginning of the unpaid overtime period. It is literally possible to go from feeling fine one minute to wondering what on earth is going on you feel so terrible 5 minutes later....really...it has happened to me before now and cleared up equally mysteriously (when I'd just about managed to walk out of the "religious" talk I was listening to and stumble back home to bed somehow).

what dreadful advice - how rude and unprofessional would you look!?!

You can kiss any hopes of promotion (or even respect) goodbye if you take this route!

...however, you can be sure you will never get invited again, which will probably feel far more unpleasant than being expected to join in.

Sometimes in life you have to go with the flow and suffer horrible short term hardship (oh, how terrible, being forced to be sociable and eat pizza - and twice - in your OWN time! AArrgghhh:eek: ) rather than always be the awkward, opinionated pain in the @rse person that makes things stressful for other people.

Be a grown up, suck it up, get on with it and smile about it.

Dill

A phrase that used to get bandied about where I worked was 'work / life balance'. (Mind you they didn't always practice what they preached :rolleyes: )

Are there others on your team who feel the same way as you? If there are, that'd make it easier to decline their 'invite'

Also, is it just these two evenings, or is this possibly a sign of things to come? I mean if you all say yes to this are they then going to take that as a green light to expect you to drop everything and attend their out-of-work-hours meetings in the future, I wonder..

I can definitely understand your concerns and I'm fairly sure in your position I wouldn't go, but it could make things a bit awkward. Companies shouldn't inflict this on employees, IMO, but with the jobs market as it is, I guess they think they can make whatever demands they want..

[Deleted User]

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Woo, looks like i won't have to work sunday now

Doh, looks like it'll be on-call now. On the plus side, they've decided to pay me - quite unheard of normally.

Frankly, i get on very well with my workmates and would be happy with a freebie meal with them

Do you not get on with your co-workers much?