Depression Support Thread

jackieb

Hello everyone. I thought i'd post here as i'm really struggling just now. I only started taking Prozac a few days ago so it's not had a chance to affect me yet (i've been on it several times in the past 10 years and it's been a Godsend at times )

I really just want to go in the car and go away, but I can't. I'm feeling overwhelmed. I had a panic attack last Friday - my first one in years, and I keep tearing up (not in front of anybody though!)

I always try to buoy people up and be positive and happy, so I don't think anybody has any idea how bad i'm feeling. And I can't tell them as they'll worry about me.

I'll try and keep it short (ha! lol) and to the point. I know why i'm feeling like this just now. Everything has just hit me at once.

We moved house in June. We've spent quite a bit replacing the windows and kitchen. Then in the summer my dh was off for 11 weeks due to visa problems (he works abroad), so all our money went really quickly. I suggested getting my old job back (I stopped working almost 2 years ago). I got a job doing relief work. Two days before I was due to start, my mum was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has an op next week. The doctor is being positive but I still know it's hard for everyone to take in. I was working all last week and I was dreading going to work. I just wanted to stay at home with my family. I was feeling sick and shaky and on the brink of tears all the time.

Mum was going to watch the children when dh was abroad and I had to do a shift, but now she can't, so I feel really guilty for leaving them on their own (the youngest is 12yo, so not really young). I really want to stop work but i've just started! Dh says to pack it in but he lost over £4000 for that time he was at home, and it's coming up to Christmas, and the money will make things more comfortable.

Dh says this particular contract is finished in February and he's not heard what will be happening after that. Someone has offered him another job (in India). He's sent them his CV. It's not knowing what's happening that I hate. Dh says not to worry about it but he sounds so down when he phones. I'm like a barometer regarding moods - if someone around me is happy, then i'm happy. If someone is feeling down, it makes me feel down too, despite doing my best to be upbeat. I feel drained after coming off the phone when dh is quiet. I smile when I speak to him hoping he can hear it in my voice. I don't cry in front of the children either. I can't tell my mum how i'm feeling as she has enough to worry about just now, without worrying about me too.

Then all I read about is this credit crunch and how house prices are falling. We bought at the wrong time. We've no plans to move but knowing we wouldn't be able to if we needed is scary. Even being on some parts of this site is really depressing. I try not to go there but I can't help it. I also have the news channels on quite a bit and that just makes me worse!

Phew! Sorry for the length of post. It's nice to get things of my chest as dh isn't home at the moment, and even if he was I don't think i'd confide in him because I wouldn't want to make him feel like this either.

xx

budget_budd

Feeling so low, Ive had enough I don't even know whats going on anymore.

Johnny_Doe

HiCould anyone point me in the right direction for cheap daylight mimiking bulbs? The shorter days are making me feel a bit down possibly due to S.A.D and would like some daylight bulbs to lift me up a !!!!!eers and take care!

shazrobo

Johnny_Doe wrote: »

HiCould anyone point me in the right direction for cheap daylight mimiking bulbs? The shorter days are making me feel a bit down possibly due to S.A.D and would like some daylight bulbs to lift me up a !!!!!eers and take care!

hi i get mine from craft shops. hobbycraft do the energy savign daylight bulbs for a tenner, seen them on ebay for £14
hope this helps
shaz x

shazrobo

(((big hugs))) to jackieb and budget_budd, this time of the year always seems to be the hardest, the dark days dont help much either
you seem to have a lot on your plate jackieb, i'm sorry i'm not good at giving answers, just wanted to give hugs
shaz xxx

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

*hugs* to jackieb and to Budget-Budd,hope you feel ok soon,I went out for lunch locally today and ate it so I was pleased as punch.I also went to do a big food shop and it was great got money off at Tesco so I was pleased.

Having a nice night in now.Just popped washing on to do.

love and light,

Katie xxx

LadyMorticia

((((hugs)))) to BB and jackieb.

Did some retail therapy earlier, ready for my birthday. Once I got over the initial having a panic attack and almost fainting (not sure if that's related to the panic attack though as I had a temp of 39 when I went out.lol) I was fine.
Bought a dress, some jewellery, hair styling stuff and new makeup.

Hope you're all okay.

xx

beachbeth

I can relate to so much of what you say, Jackieb. I went through a similar time where everything was getting on top of me. I was working part time, looking after two children and the money that me and my OH were bringing in just wasn't enough. I remember sitting at work wondering what the point was because I wasn't earning enough anyway. We had always budgeted carefully and not lived beyond our means and yet we were sinking. I came down with depression very badly and now don't work because of it. We were lucky though because my hubby got himself a job that paid what we needed.

I think in your situation you must remember that things will get better at some point but at the moment you just have to grit your teeth and try to ride through it. Don't take on more than you can handle and remember to be kind to yourself. Read some of Tiff's previous advice about relaxing because it really can help.

Sometimes I think you need to let others know how you are feeling though because they can help too. Im terrible too though because I always hold everything in and tell people that everything is fine when it isn't. However, I think sometimes we need to let others know and not try to be superwoman. We all need help sometimes and it doesn't mean we are a failure.

I made sure I never cried in front of my kids too, so I know what you mean about this. They are now 21 and 18 and I asked them recently if they can remember me crying and suffering with panic attacks and depression when they were younger and they said they weren't aware of it at all. So I know I did my job where they were concerned. However, its other adults that you can lean on and should lean on in times like this.

Hugs and best wishes for your mum. I hope everything goes well for her and you too.

absolutebounder

[FONT=arial, helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=arial, helvetica, sans-serif][FONT=times new roman, new york, times, serif]Subject: For Honeymooners

At 85 years of age, Morris married Lou Anne, a lovely 25 year old.

Since her new husband is so old, Lou Anne decides that after their wedding she and Morris should have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband may overexert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities Lou Anne prepares herself for bed and the expected 'knock' on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Morris, her 85 year old groom, ready for action.

They unite as one. All goes well, Morris takes leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, Lou Anne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and it's Morris. Again he is ready for more 'action'. Somewhat surprised, Lou Anne consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Morris kisses his bride, bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it – Morris is back again, rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more 'action'. And, once again they enjoy each other.

But as Morris gets set to leave again, his young bride says to him,
“I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age who were only good once. You are truly a great lover, Morris.'

Morris, somewhat embarrassed, turns to Lou Anne and says: 'You mean I was here already?'

The moral of the story: Don't be afraid of getting old - Alzheimer's has its’ advantages.

[/FONT]
[/FONT]
[/FONT]

Tulip

I am off now,

Chat tomorrow

Night! Night!


love and light,

Katie xxx