Depression Support Thread

Tiff_2

Hi guys!
Guess who?!
It's been a while since I posted this Tiffy Tip for deep relaxation, so I thought you deserved to suffer again!

Now I really don't go for this kind of thing, feeling quite skeptical because I'd already tried the muscle clenching and then relaxing them one at a time thing and that did nothing for me at all.
This is supposed to be really good and even better if you are creative or have a good imagination. If you're very anxious, upset or want to bite your postman (mine likes it!), this might help.

You'll need to buy a relaxation cd - soothing, gentle instrumental, (not Def Leppard or the 1812 Overture!),
with no vocals - from Asda, Woolies, WHSmith etc and can vary from between £1 to £7 or libraries
or t'internet can sometimes offer you free downloads if you google. Any piece of gentle melody is good
Some have a voice (distracted me too much) that can guide you through this deep relaxation or one with just
a 'script' (storyline) that you should read before starting.

Prepare
- Find a two hour time frame in which you won't be disturbed by anyone or phone calls etc.
- Make sure you're not wearing tight clothing and take shoes/socks off.
- Unplug the phone, dog and OH.
- Lie on your bed or the floor or sit in an armchair which will support your arms and head.
- Start the music.....

Deep Relaxation
.....zzzz.....
- So you're lying on your bed and the music is playing. Start to focus on slowing your breathing down.

- Empty your mind, close your eyes and listen to the music.

- Begin to relax everything in your body, working from your toes up. Just let them go heavy. Remember
slow, deep breathing.

- Let all your body feel heavy. Become aware of the bed under your body and start to sink into it until you
feel fully supported by the bed - almost as if you had no bones or you were lying on a huge pillow.

- Find a scene in your mind - I use a quiet beach for example - and imagine yourself suddenly there. Be aware
of the music in the background, let it soothe you.

- Now put different things in your special place. Use things for all 5 senses to use. It could be a beach, a field,
a forest, a river etc.
Mine starts with me coming down a pine staircase, then into the kitchen where there's a
stable door and the top half is open.
Sunny and warm outside, a gentle breeze, I go out into the garden and sit on the wooden swing and look out
to the sea, smell flowers, hear birds, decide to go down steps to the quiet beach set in the bay,
what the sand feels like under my bare feet, see a man throwing a stick for his dog in the distance etc...

- Still listening to the music. Slow breathing. Associate different parts of the music to different parts of your daydream.

- You are making your own daydream where you are in control of everything and this will be where you escape to
when you feel low, anxious, scared or tired.

- Use your senses - what can you see, hear, feel etc?

- Slowly leave your daydream as the music stops (IF you're still awake!) - do not move or jump up!

- Still breathing slowly and deeply, enjoy the relaxation in your limbs and mind.

- Stretch and get up slowly, gently coming back to where you are.

- You can change things in your dream every time you do it, if you want to.

It worked so well for me that I could feel the warm sand under my feet, feel the breeze, hear the dog barking in the
distance, smell the flowers etc!
And I actually fell asleep!!!

Now guys, this is ONLY going to work if you practice every day, if not twice a day.
Put it on your mp3 player or whatever - but not in the car or while flying a plane!
Your brain will start to make the association between the music and that lovely relaxed feeling. If you get anxious, panicky, upset etc while you are out, turn on your mp3 player and, if you've done it often enough, you'll be able to do this whenever you need to and it will help to relax you.;)

Hope this helped even just a little bit, guys.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

Tiff_2

Hi fairy!
Lovely to see you posting again hunnie!

fairy wrote:

CPN came yesterday (finally admitted I am not coping), feel a bit better today and can remember what I have got to look forward to again.
Hope you are all well, (as you can be!)
D x

I know how hard that must have been for you and I'm really proud of you for finally opening up to your CPN, angel! Bless you,I hope you continue to feel better hun - remember baby steps and only one day at a time.



Thinking of you hunnie.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

hippychick1

Thank you so much for your response Tiff, it made me cry that you wrote all that out. I am feeling better than earlier. I just feel things cannot get any worse, I can't cope with daily stuff at the minute, I have three children who get stuck in fron of the tv at any opportunity as I just cannot manage things.
I have had a lot going on in my life lately (have a thread in the relationship forum somewhere that explains everything). I actually saw a doctor last friday (not my usual doctor) and told him everything, how low I felt, that I wanted to run away from everyone and everything, that sometimes I feel suicidal. He said come back in 4 weeks for a review

beachbeth

I agree wholeheartedly with Tiff's tips and can understand how you feel, hippychick. Ive been at the point where I was having panic attacks and felt like I was going mad. Be assured that you aren't alone and there are plenty of others that have been through it or are still going through it in just the same way. Whatever you do don't despair. We understand!

Tiff_2

Hi atomised!
I'm really glad that you decided to re-post your post again hunnie - I know you must be feeling terrible. And that's just the time you need a few kind words and some hugs.
So to the thread atomised (atoms). You are more than welcome here and you can share as much or as little as you feel comfortable with.

atoms wrote:

I deleted my earlier post. I have just lost my boyf of 3 years. He was my only friend and I don't want to become the old me again , which is even worse than the current me. I feel like staying in bed forever and don't know what to do. Everything is a mess at the moment which is probably why he finally left

I'm so sorry to read your news angel. You must be feeling devastated.

You are going through a rollercoaster ride of emotions right now angel - please try and remember that. Don't make any decisions right now, because your view won't be quite so accurate atm.

You are grieving for your relationship hunnie and all these feelings are, sadly, very natural. Of course you're hurting! I'd be really worried about you if you weren't feeling anything at all. It's going to take time sweetheart - which does nothing to make you feel any better now, I know.
Also, you are bound to be replaying the relationship and him leaving, over and over in your mind. Again, this is completely natural but not very helpful to you right now. Try not to think harsh thoughts about yourself hun, because words can be very powerful. It's not the right time to be examining all the whys and wherefores right now, atoms - there's plenty of time for that when you're feeling a bit better hun. It's all very new atm, and there may still be a chance that you guys can work things out.

Do you have any friend or family member who you could call or talk to, hunnie?
If not, RELATE are a national charity who might be able to help you with counselling or support. They deal with all kinds of relationship problems. Here's their link ...
http://www.relate.org.uk/

Everything is so fresh and raw right now, angel. Cry as many tears as you want to atoms - it's the body's natural way of releasing the build-up of stress chemicals in our bodies.
Again, it's about taking it hour by hour right now, a step at a time and looking after yourself.
And you shouldn't blame yourself or assume that you know how you will be in the future. I can promise you that there will be ups to come angel, because nothing ever stays the same. You've proved this yourself by saying you think you are better now than you were in the past. I bet you never thought you'd be saying that at the time.

I know there's nothing much I can say to help you now hunnie, but please believe there's a thread bursting with guardian angels here, full of hugs and support to get you through this time.
Be kind to yourself, angel.
Much Love,
Tiff xxx

LadyMorticia

((((hugs)))) Atomised.

Welcome to the thread hippychick! :wave: I'm Anni.

Not sure how today is going so far. =/ On the plus side my hair is all soft and lovely, and smells awesome. My hair is like my trademark. :rotfl:

Sam text me earlier to ask how I was and he hopes I'm better etc, bless him. It's little things like that that really mean a lot to me.
Going to go to the drop in tomorrow. Hm! Going to take my camera to get some graveyard shots on the way, and to do a little retail therapy ready for my birthday.

Hope you're all okay.

xx

Tulip

Atomised wrote: »

I deleted my earlier post. I have just lost my boyf of 3 years. He was my only friend and I don't want to become the old me again , which is even worse than the current me. I feel like staying in bed forever and don't know what to do. Everything is a mess at the moment which is probably why he finally left

So Sorry to hear that Atomised


Katie

Tulip

:hello: Everyone,

I hope you are all ok,Been out for a while today and saw my church friends,got home for 1pm and made macaroni cheese.Got home to find my competition win from premier Christian Radio arrived so that made me happy as I had been e-mailing them with its whereabouts and the song has my name Katie imortilized in the songs and verses and its beautiful,I cant stop playing it.

*hugs* to those that need one


love and light,

Katie xxx

beachbeth

Sorry to hear about your boyfriend, Atomised. Please feel free to post on here - there are lovely people on this thread who just want to give a hug to people when its needed and won't judge you.

Hugs to everyone that needs them. Thanks for spending the time to post all that loving advice, Tiff. It just shows there are nice people in the world!

LadyMorticia

Haii guys! :wave:

Day has turned out okay. Spoke to Sam and Gemz earlier. I'm really looking forward to my birthday. Never really looked forward to a birthday before as all my previous ones have been ruined in one way or another, so I'm hoping this year will be different.

Hopefully Gemz will be coming on the Friday after my birthday and then we can hit Cambridge on the Saturday. Eeek...me in Cambridge! This is going to be a challenge, but one which I am willing to undertake.

Really looking forward to some retail therapy tomorrow. My goodness, I need it. I've been doing well with some things lately (even Sam said he's proud of me. *faints*). Ordered my birthday outfit yesterday. Here it is incase anyone wants to see it: http://direct.asda.com/Lace-Top-Dress/GEM2814,default,pd.html

I can't believe I'm going to be 22. If truth be told, I didn't think I'd make it this far in life, but I'm glad I have. I never want to revisit the month of August mental heath wise. That month was hell. Heck, sometimes I do still feel like that, but being on the psych ward made me realise that I actually do have great friends and people who care about me. So, I might not be able to just pop around for a cuppa as distance is an issue, but just because you can't see your friends, it doesn't mean that they're not there.

This year has been a very hard one - very very hard. First, my ex split up with me on New Years Day (was horrific at the time but a blessing in disguise as he was mentally and physically abusive towards me), then there was the whole agoraphobia and anxiety thing (which I still have but it's better now - even if it is still somewhat bad.lol), then the diagnoses, then finding out who my real friends were...turns out they weren't who I thought they were, then the stuff with Karl, then the psych ward, then the massive fall out with my family, and we're not even at the end of 2008 yet! But, it hasn't all been bad. I started this photography course, I've made quite a few online friends this year, Sam and I started talking more (and you all know about how things are going there. ), my artistic abilities have somewhat grown, and I like to think that I have grown as a person too. A lot has happened this year, but I'm too stubborn to give in....even after my little blip in August.lol. There are three choices in life: give up, give in, and give it your all, and I've decided that I wouldn't live up to my reputation of being stubborn if I gave in now, would I? So I'm going to give it my all.

In other news, got a letter from daddy dearest yesterday. Oh joy. He enclosed a photo of himself. Yeah, like I'm really going to forget what he looks like.:rolleyes: I darn well wish I could! He asked to meet up. Am I going to go? Hell no! I am not putting myself in that situation. He asked how mother was. How should I know? lol. I dislike them all. I don't hate them, but there is no love there either. I have my reasons for that. They are partly the reason I have the problems I do now.

So, anyway.I hope you are all okay. Be good and stay safe.

xx