Sinking Fast And Dont Know What To Do

Sue-UU

blackclouds wrote: »

Thanks for finding my positivity for me Sue :rotfl:

Need to clarify some things and take it a little bit at a time but there is hope

That's the way to look at it BC. Hope is what we get up with on each new day, but if it doesn't happen then we simply look ahead to the next day or the following week, but in between we need to live a stress-free life as nothing happens to fast with debt problems. That's been my experience and we're getting through it all now, but at the beginning I don't deny there were worrying times. Still, I took on my "what the heck, it's not going to disappear if I worry about it so I'd just as well make the best of it while it's here" approach.... and it works.

Keep to those deep breath periods when panic starts to niggle and recall beautiful scenes or precious memories (you've got some beauties with your little one!) to the front of your mind.

You WILL get through this time BC; I didn't think I would but it's happening and I'm thrilled to bits at getting there, hubby too! Keep hole of that positivity it serves us well.

Sue PS. Those good night's sleeps will do you a power of good!

MissShoes

Hey blackclouds, how's it going?

blackclouds

Hi Miss Shoes not too bad today

Well people daily update time :

Applied for a further 2 jobs today, also got through to the telephone interview for job through the agency so I have that next week, but still no news if through to the second interview for the job I had an interview for on Monday so still waiting to see on that.

Mega trip to the post office to post off 40 items sold on eBay, fortunately a cheque I got for my birthday had cleared to pay the postage on them. Wait 1 week then list more on eBay as by then I should have got the money out of PayPal and into my bank.

Jobs for the weekend :

1. Tidy up - place is a tip
2. Prepare more items for mega eBay listing number 2
3. Put a few larger items of unused furniture up on Gumtree
4. Clean van in readiness for sale
5. Look out all documents I need for Mondays meeting at Debt Advice place and prepare a list of all the questions I need to ask (the more I read on this forum the more questions I seem to have :rotfl:)
6. Have cheap day out with wee one on Sunday, hopefully weather will be dry .....

So that is looking like a busy weekend - I have also decided to keep a running total of my eBay sales to keep me motivated in my signature so first weeks sales are added now ........

Thanks for your continued good wishes, it really is helping me and cyber hugs n kisses to all for that

Sue-UU

WELL DONE!!!

Good luck with more ebay sales, Monday too........ and..... news of success in the job front. You're getting so very motivated BC, it's a joy to see!!!

Have a wonderful day on Sunday, rain or shine you still have each others company.

Sue

blackclouds

Hello folks

Good days and bad days at the moment but following the meeting with local debt advice people (council run so charity in essence) I am now doing the things I have been needing to look at doing but didnt know how.

So far this week I have :

1. Got Debt Advise compnay to take over the contacting of my creditors
2. Opened new bank account
3. Got mortgage onto interest only
4. Cancelled unnecessary insurances
5. Applied for a number of jobs, nowt special but cant take any more daytime telly
6. Felt very alone and scared

As soon as the mood improves I promise a diary, but dont want to start it when I am still very down at times.

Take care folks and again thanks for the support .......

Bismarck

blackclouds wrote: »

Hello folks

Good days and bad days at the moment but following the meeting with local debt advice people (council run so charity in essence) I am now doing the things I have been needing to look at doing but didnt know how.

So far this week I have :

1. Got Debt Advise compnay to take over the contacting of my creditors
2. Opened new bank account
3. Got mortgage onto interest only
4. Cancelled unnecessary insurances
5. Applied for a number of jobs, nowt special but cant take any more daytime telly
6. Felt very alone and scared

As soon as the mood improves I promise a diary, but dont want to start it when I am still very down at times.

Take care folks and again thanks for the support .......

only do a diary if you think it will help you.

I get down at times and I'm not lonely...it's not fun sometimes.

Can I suggest something that I did rather than watching daytime telly - go to the library, get some computer books out and get to know some basic office type packages inside out so the self-belief you get from that will carry through into your CV.

got to go and watch telly...cheers.

Sue-UU

Bismarck wrote: »

Can I suggest something that I did rather than watching daytime telly - go to the library, get some computer books out and get to know some basic office type packages inside out so the self-belief you get from that will carry through into your CV.

Hi blackclouds, good to see you back again. I'd imagine most of us here have felt lonely and scared when we've been in the thick of our financial problems, but like the rest of us, you too will come through it, even if it takes a while. If your parents live near you why not visit them frequently and talk to them about everything and anything, they'll be pleased to share the load too, and it's all company and that's what you need. You may even share a few laughs together and that has to be good.

I agree with all that Bismark's written, especially the latter paragraph, far better for you to be adding to your skills when daytime telly gets too much to bear. You may even meet more folk in your situation. Treat yourself to a coffee too, it's not a waste if it helps you make contact with the world.

Things, to my mind, sound so much better now that you've put yourself in the hands of a Debt Advice company. I think I'd believe that someone else was helping me by sharing the load just a little and at least you've talked it all through with someone and that will help you, even if you don't feel so right now.

Don't worry about the diary until you know it's for you. For now just stick to letting us know how things are going and how you're enjoying times with your wee one!

Thinking of you.

Sue

blackclouds

Hi again people, I find that writing things down helps me, but the things I am struggling to come to terms with are still very raw and personal and I am not comfortable with opening myself up in public just now. I have been writing some poetry to help me come to terms with a number of issues and it is quite cathartic, yet somewhat dark.

I get myself so up for seeing the wee one at the weekends that Monday to Thursday is all downhill and then Friday to Sunday is back uphill again. So hopefully from tomorrow I will be on the up again, and try not to crash again on Monday .....

I am finding it hard to get out too much as I am still at a stage where I am feeling embarrassed, invisible and dont really want to meet anyone I know. Going to parents is OK but I find it hard to see the hurt on their faces and there have been words this week as they are cash only people and have been mortgage free and debt free for past 15 years.

The tears have stopped but it is being replaced by frustration, anger and fear........

Sue-UU

blackclouds wrote: »

I am finding it hard to get out too much as I am still at a stage where I am feeling embarrassed, invisible and dont really want to meet anyone I know. Going to parents is OK but I find it hard to see the hurt on their faces and there have been words this week as they are cash only people and have been mortgage free and debt free for past 15 years.

The tears have stopped but it is being replaced by frustration, anger and fear........

Whether it's by poetry or any other means blackclouds then keep on writing and getting it out of your system. With luck it'll free your mind by letting you vent the frustration, anger and fear within until you can see things without those emotions clouding your 'vision'.

Try not to hide away too much, remember you're NOT the only one in your position! The sooner you get back into life the easier it will become and the less you'll worry about others and their thoughts. Of course your folks are hurt, but I'd imagine most of the hurt is at not being able to help you sufficiently. We all get hurt when our loved ones are hurting and that must be the way they see you, but see the love in their eyes too, you need that love right now. Things have also been very different for them as they've lived through eras where credit hasn't been thrown at them from every which way ....and that's exactly what bought most of us here!

Keep strong blackclouds and as soon as Sunday's over, start thinking and planning what you're going to do with your little one the following week. Focus on that and NOT on crashing again on Monday. We're here for you and are only a post or pm away.

Sue

Lula-Hula

Hi blackclouds,

just caught your thread & first of all I want to wish you every sympathy & loads of hugs for going through a hard time. The support on here is amazing & with Sue a regular on your thread I know you'll be fine - she is a bottomless well of support & encouragement & when you're ready we'll both get you off the weed ( nearly 10 wks now for me & wouldnt have done it without sue) .

I admire your tenacity & determination even when things are so grim.
Re your parents - they're a different generation ( the one that didnt need credit to survive :rolleyes: ) my dad is very similar in his outlook which is why he's not been told of my current status ! Dont take it to heart, they just grew up in a different era & one day you're wee sweetie will probably be moaning about how 'out of touch' you are .

I'm sure there's a silver lining out there for you & in the meantime you have all these fab people to keep you company

lula x