Strumpet's Diary - Welcome to Planet Strumpet!!!

Horace

pffffft sunbeds:rolleyes: I used to sell sunbeds in a previous life and it was embarrassing at exhibitions because we were all white whereas the girls on the other stands were a shade of orange:rolleyes: The Suntrap Girls had a reputation to being hard sellers but pasty white - our boss was too mean to allow us to use the sunbeds for free and if we wanted then she made arrangements for us to go to Pat Roach's gym and we had to pay:mad: (Pat Roach was wrestler, scrap metal merchant, gym owner and film stunty person).

Here's a tip - sweat pools by your bum so get a flannel and fold it into a small square and put that underneath you, that way you wont get burnt. Anyway, eat more carrots that you will make you change colour or better still use a moisturiser containing bronzing stuff - far better for your skin in the long run.

Fancy staying in a hotel in Brum (poor OH:rolleyes: ) if he wants to go out and he is allowed out then he should get himself over to 52 Degrees North - its a fab gay bar (mind you there are a few nice gay places in town as well as some of the more seedier ones like the infamous Nightingale in Hurst Street).:rolleyes: Or if he is really adventurous he could wander along Broad Street and the Hagley Road and visit the various poledancing clubs:eek: (we have more lapdancing/poledancing clubs than anywhere else in Britain:eek: ).

Suppose I had ought to venture outdoors - I need to go to the stationers as I want to see if they have a plastic thing to put a poster in - A4 size is sufficient as I want it for my business.

strumpet

Horace wrote: »

Fancy staying in a hotel in Brum (poor OH:rolleyes: ) if he wants to go out and he is allowed out then he should get himself over to 52 Degrees North - its a fab gay bar (mind you there are a few nice gay places in town as well as some of the more seedier ones like the infamous Nightingale in Hurst Street).:rolleyes: Or if he is really adventurous he could wander along Broad Street and the Hagley Road and visit the various poledancing clubs:eek: (we have more lapdancing/poledancing clubs than anywhere else in Britain:eek: ).

Hi H

I am well acquainted with 52 degrees north!!! In 2000, I met a guy called Peter who I started a relationship with. He used to live in the States and was moving back here. He moved into my rented accommodation and after 6 months, had not got a job so he tried to find jobs nationwide. He got a job as manager of 52 degrees north. We were living apart - he in Birmingham and me in Manchester and he said he wanted to see other guys whilst in Brum so I told him to do one. He did one and left me with £1200 of storecard debt. For the next 6 years I got bailiffs at the door at 7:00 in the morning, debt collection letters and harassment phone calls from his creditors. He was still using my address to get credit. I even had to fend of HSBC when he defaulted on a mortgage he'd managed to defraud himself into.

He was a bad 'un. He subsequently got arrested and his friend Angela's house was raided by the police. Seemed he was peddling ecstasy in 52 degrees. He was fired. He got a job at The Belfry hotel but was eventually fired by my friend Gordon who is regional manager for the hotel chain. Gordon gave me Peter's hotel dinner jacket as a souvenir and compensatory gift of good riddance!!!

All seems to have gone quiet so I assume (and hope) that he is rotting in prison, the con artist that he was. He bought me loads of things whilst he was with me, including a solid silver ring by Tiffany & Co and we stayed in the best hotels in London, all of which I discovered later, he paid for using the credit card he had stolen from his ex Michael who lives in Atlanta - and this was the real reason for him fleeing the States.

If I ever meet him again, I will smack his teeth so far down his throat, he'll need to stick his toothbrush up his backside to clean his teeth.

Glad I got that off my chest!!!!!:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

Horace

What a weasel - lets hope he is in Winson Green nick (its smells of overcooked cabbage and has a horrid air of violence about it and the inmates wear horrid denim trousers - I know because I see them at the eye hospital chained to guards:eek: ), hopefully he will be the prison girl if you know what I mean:rotfl: I know the prison smells of cabbage because I had to work in there when I worked for the probation service - it was a horrid job and jacked it in after my car was broken into and I was threatened by a knife-wielding nitwit.

Sorry to dredge up some bad memories but the weasel sounds like a right twonk (putting it politely).

Aah...The Belfry that brings back memories - I got lost in the fog driving home from there once and I have never set foot in the place since:rolleyes:

strumpet

What a pair we are!

Horace

strumpet wrote: »

What a pair we are!

Yeah, we should sup out of a saucer of milk...miaow:rotfl:

Hope you stuck the weasel's jacket on a dummy made of straw and stuck it on top of the bonfire - penny for the guy anyone?:rotfl:

Still we can laugh about it which is a good thing and at least you have someone much better in OH - even if the does go out on the razzle to exciting places like Birmingham:rolleyes:

MrsPorridge

Aahh yes the Belfry - last time I was there I was a bridesmaid:D

strumpet

OH and I painted our hallway on Saturday. We put Ella Fitzgerald on and set to it. Looks fablicious now!

Didn't save as much as I hoped this weekend - had to go shopping and put it on the credit card. Will pay off this week when OH's money arrives in my account. I'm goping to really try and budget properly from 1st April. I need to know where my money goes.

Had the bank review on Friday - basically there's nothing they can offer me that's worth me having although they did try! Tried ot offer me a loan at 9.9%!!! Yeah right! Where do I sign?

My colleague and I are awaiting our Slimming World CD's which we bought off ebay for £1.99. Apparently it's the Slimming World Starter pack without having to pay £10 to go to the meetings. I'm sure it is pirated but.....

OH is at home with a sore throat he just can't shift. We've tried everything - lozenges, syrups etc. He is now gargling with TCP!

Any suggestions greatfully received.

Hope your days are cool.

Horace

Morning Strumps

Sore Throats - well I always use cheapo Lidl Blackcurrant Cordial - one glug in a mug and then pour boiling water on it (well at least hot water from the kettle) and sip it. Its quite thick and coats the throat well and it works.

Strumps - my little sweetie sounds to me as though you need to start keeping a spending diary as well as writing a shopping list for when you go shopping that way you will know which drain your money is disappearing down.

Felt a bit ropey myself on Saturday so didnt do much - couldnt even be bothered to cook so I ordered take out pasta - spag with meatballs (reheated for lunch yesterday as I couldnt manage it all:rolleyes: ), loaded skins with salad (I ate them) and spag bol which was bought to go into the freezer:rolleyes: Felt better yesterday and actually cooked some chicken breasts in Moski and ate one with roast spuds, veg and gravy and the other one will go into sandwiches (oh pants I have just remembered - no bread). S'pose I had better go to the bank and go shopping:rolleyes:

415SanFran

Hey Strumpet.

I was brought up in Rochdale area, and left the UK in 1982, I thought I had lost all traces of my northern accent, until one day about ten years ago my twin boys went to stay with there American grandma for a week when they were about 5.

I got this phone call at 6am with my MIL asking, "What is a koowker?'
Just woken out of my slumber, I'm like "huh" (the dear had forgotten that it was so early on the East coast, it was about 10 in the morning for her)
I asked her to put one of the boys on the phone.
Rob is almost in tears saying that they have not yet had breakfast (Both Rob and Tom have hollow legs you understand ! ) because when Grandma was going to do oatmeal she was going to put it in the microwave, but they said it HAD to be cooked.
Fully awake by the point, I understand the confusion, and just say to Rob "Tell Grandma you mean a stove!"
When she got back on the phone she laughed and said. "OW if they had said "Cooker" I would have worked it out"
Hope this helps the Monday go just a little quicker!

MrsPorridge

Hi Strumpet - I've had a bit of a disaster spending wise this weekend too. My overspending is all on food. I need to keep away fromshops!

I use good old honey and lemon for sore throats and colds, very soothing.