ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

GeorgeUK

Hi guys

Still busy at work (and now home) and no thoughts of gambling. Very occasionally i wonder what i'll do when i become debt free - if i would go back onto a site. But then i think of the games i could play and give myself a shake - not going to go there. Nothing to gain by doing so.

Riq, hopefully some of them will soon accept your offers or make a counter offer. Are the debts still with the original creditors or have they been passed to a DCA? Have you told them how long it would take to recover the 30% you are offering at your current monthly payment rate?

Have you checked to see if any of the debts are unenforcable? Might be worth considering if they try to start court proceedings.

Is your name still on the mortgage? I thought on your thread that OH was wanting to get it put soley into her name? (Can't remember now)

cantcope

Hi George,

Definitely can relate to you wondering if you'll bet once your debt free. I thought the same but luckily havent done it. Get K9 put on your pc just in case x

Tutton

Hi Friends,

I do not know where to begin, but it all started years ago for me as I have a bi-polar disorder.

I was living in the states with my then wife who fell out of love with me. I found myself in the casinos spending $'s that I did not have and borrowing from her family that were initially supporting me as I was trying to get a green card.

I got a few thousand $'s into debt and we then called it a day. All I was left with was my cat, car and pc and I was living in a converted barn that a friend of mine worked with me in Blockbusters. I was playing for the rush and missing the fruit machines back home which was cauing me to play awful american versions.

I had tried joining an emulation community at a forum called fruit forums but due to my bi-polar disorder I was stalked and made to leave the community. I was looking for the rush of playing classic machines like Line Up.

In my pain and sorry, I returned to the casinos to amount debts of 1,000's of $'s that I had by using credit cards of my now ex-wife.

I contacted an old friend in the uk who was more family then friend and god bless him, he helped my clear the debt but now I am in back in the UK in debt to him, owing as of last week £13K.

I am also addicted to fruit machines. This is gods honest truth, I am that bad that the only way I can save myself from spending on these machines in handcuffing myself to the radiator and throwing the key across the room. I have to await my understanding friend to come home from work to release me from my bindings when I then have to clear up my own mess that I have basically had to sit in. This is getting very tiresome for him and the welts on my wrists are beginning to blister.

I am in desperate need of help. This cannot continue and the house is a mess and I don't even have money for ciggies anymore. I am broke with no allowance coming in.

I cannot get my head straight as I am desperately wanting to get a job, but with a checkered work history there is nothing that I can do.

I need to pay my debt off.

This is sadly a road that I have been down before. I am not asking for help, I am asking for guidance so I can sort this out myself.

Please for the love of god, somebody help me.

A.

cantcope

A.

well done for posting. Call the Gamblers Anonymous helpline first.
Speak to CCCS abaout your debt
Don't have access to any money. If you cant get money, you can't gamble. Ask your friend to take complete control of your finances as this will help you.

You are not living a life, just existing. Keep posting. Just writing it down may help xx

williamD1964

Evening all, hope all are well. Nothing major to report. Work a real drag, wife a pain but thats what wives are for. Staying clean one day at a time.

Stay strong people

riquelme

williamD1964 wrote: »

Evening all, hope all are well. Nothing major to report. Work a real drag, wife a pain but thats what wives are for. Staying clean one day at a time.

Stay strong people

good lad william, there's no fun being like we were. life is so much better without gambling even though ive caused a family to break up. i feel happier with myself that i give my time to my kids and that i stopped before i lost everything. got my priorities right now and thats whats keeping me focussed. that 1st bet is the 1 to avoid, its a slippery slope after that.

have a great weekend everyone, got kids with me at the moment playing the Wii , tennis in the morning with them then going to watch niece swim. Got mates 40th tomorrow night so a blow out is on the cards. Meeting up with ex and kids for a day out either sunday or monday and visit a few relatives to keep myself occupied and make me feel that i matter because when the kids arent with me i dont feel that good. would feel a lot worse if i was losing £3k in 30 minutes though

stay strong comrades

williamD1964

Riq, you are an inspiration. I know all about feeling crap about myself. Been beating myself up for years, but only now am I coming to terms with my addiction and ways of fighting it. I know this forum and the people on here have my best interests at heart with there advice and encouragement. Keeping thefaith, and watching the pennies

cantcope

Hi Riq

good to hear you are keeping yourself busy and that you are getting to do lots of things with the kids. Remember that by doing this for YOURSELF everyone around you will benefit in the long term.
In years to come you may be in the position to help your kids out with first cars/deposits on houses. all the things that if you were still gambling would be a million miles away.

Even though my debt has been clear for 2 years i am still getting extra little benfits now. WHen i first bought my flat i needed a fixed rate as i couldnt afford to not know how much i would need to pay out each month. 2 years on thats now up and thanks to the low interest rate i'll be paying £220 less in may and going forward!!! feels like a payrise!

Everyone around me has commented how i am the "old me" and much more fun to be around now. I no longer need to put on a "happy act" when deep inside i'm gutted as i've just done 5k online in a couple of hours

i still read through the very first thread i started on here as cantcope. it makes me cry to think i ever felt like that and at the time i thought it was "normal". I'm a young woman (ish) with so much to live for now and i am loving life.

It's not perfect butit's a damn sight better than it was and could have been

Keep strong everyone, we're all in this together, and together we can keep off a bet x

triple08

Hi, I just want to share my experiences as i am at my wits end. I am 24 years old and have been gambling everything i have had since i was 17, i always remember my mate showing me how to put a bet on the dogs, i won £20 and have never felt a buzz like it in my life, at the time i had just left school and landed myself a pretty decent job, i was earning approx. £350 a week and really enjoying being independant and being able to buy anything i want. Anyway for the next 3 1/2 years i stayed in that job doing exactly the same thing week in week out, get paid friday, go bookies straight after work, lose my wage, borrow some to go out so my parents didnt click on that i had blown my wage.

I left this job, and here is the funny bit, to go and work in a bookies!! I didn't last 3 month before being sacked for claiming uncollected bets because i was gambling in work despite having no money.

Next 1 1/2 years was probably my happiest time, i was working as a binman and loved it, the banter was first class and i also enjoyed the hard graft that was put in. Needless to say i still gambled a lot, but i was only earning £170 a week so it didn't hurt as much.

Next i applied to get into uni and to my surprise i got in, i started there and managed to get a part time job at a debt management company, i was doing exeptionally well here and earning a full time wage doing a part time job, the directors where constantly asking me to join full time and they would promote me, the lure of the cash was too strong after all i know quite a few ppl that have left uni and are worse off than most ppl. So i was now a debt advisor (how ironic, i can advise other ppl but put myself in a whole load of trouble!) earning approx £2.5k after tax, and gambling a whole lot more! I moved to an appartment in the city centre and discovered casinos, i have now spent many a night in there when i had work next morning.

Gambling is now taking a massive toll on my life, i look back to 6 months ago and i had my own laptop, an iphone, £1900 in cash stashed under my bed and i still hadn't touched my wage for that month. Within no time all of that had gone and thousands more, i started to get in trouble with my flat mate because i was falling behind on rent despite me earning double what he was, and i started to rob his food as i didnt have any, i always remember one day living on plain rice and water despite a day earlier having £2700 in my bank. Next move was back to my parents (who had no idea the sums of money i was earning) gambling everytime i had cash was really depressing me but i always went to it. Then i started to take payday loans out, i have now taken 12 out and not paid a penney back, i keep thinking back to having £4400 in cash a laptop and an iphone now i have £3k debt.

I had to get away from this and decided i was going to go to ibiza for the summer and get a bar job, everything was planned, i handed my notice in at work and when i get paid i book my flight and get away from this ruck i have found myself in for so long. Payday comes- straight to the bookies, come out a couple of hundred up and leave to go to my leaving do at work, i stay for a couple of hours then head to the casino, blow everything. Now i have no money no job and very angry parents.

So to put it in a nutshell for the last seven years i have earned decent money and blown the lot, approx £100,000 i would imagine.

Below i am going to put a short list of some of the stupid things i have done.

1. Get paid for xmas go in the bookies and i had never played FOBT machines but seen my mate win playing £1 on zero, so i put all my wage in betting on just zero, no presents for anyone.

2. Waste all my money at the casino and have to walk home (it took 3 hours to walk home)

3. Robbed my friends iphone (which i sold to him) sold it for £130 and then blew it within an hour and had to get my mum to pay busfairs to work.

4. At a friends party rob some money out of a girls purse whilst she is upstairs having sex with a friend.

5. Rob some cash out of a friends mums draw.

6. The weekly walks home wishing i was dead because i'd blown all my cash again.

7. My dad gave me £10 to go and get the family chippie, you know what happens next!

8. The countless times you ask to borrow money off friends and family.

9. The amount of times i organise a night out with friends only to cancel at the last minute because of gambling losses.

10. Being stood at a fruit machine at midnight new years eve and everyone who looks at you thinking what a tit.

There are far too many to mention and i am actually crying whilst typing this as it is hitting me hard what an absolute idiot of a person i am.

And the ironic thing, i get paid £400 holiday pay and am still thinking of how i can put a £50 treble on the footie so i can go away for the summer, for some ppl there is no helping.

Thanks for reading and hopefully this post will help someone not gamble.

williamD1964

As someone who has been there, bought the T-shirt and has the scars, I, and I bet quite a few others can empathise with you. You are not alone. There is help out there, and from personal experience, there is help here too. Most of all though, you have got to WANT to help yourself.