ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

Hi Riq,

try not feel angry with yourself. Draw a line under it and move forward. Although the marriage has broken think of how much good you've done lately. You have kept your promise and not gambled. You've got enough money behind you to be able to rent somewhere to live with room for your children. Keep your head up high, these are MASSIVE achievements that you no doubt thought impossible when you were still betting.

You dont need to tell them about your gambling, just that maybe you and mum weren't getting on so you thought you'd try living apart for now. As long as they know that you'll always be there they will come around eventually. I know it must be really tough on all of you but you are strong enough to deal with it.

I'm glad you've got a friend coming to stay. Try not to be alone too much at the moment. Surround yourself with people that can support you and be there to lean on when you need to.

While i know you're angry and hurt try to give yourself a pat on the back, you deserve it xxx

williamD1964

Totally agree with cantcope. You deserve credit for your achievements, and looking forward is the only way to go at the moment. We can all beat ourselves up. But all that does is drag us down. Head up, and keep going mate, you will do fine. Small steps, one at a time. Well done.

williamD1964

Hi Insomnia, I can thoroughly empathise with that pattern of gambling, the feelings you go through when winning and losing, even the treating the wife and kids when a win came along, the near lose of a marriage, and lying to a spouse to keep the debt quiet. You have made a giant step by admitting you have a problem and need to sort it out. For some, the best place is gamblers anonymous. For others like me, writing down my thoughts on here helps immensely.
As recovering gambler myself, who was clean for two years then fell off the wagon for 4 years, I don't feel qualified to offer any other forms of help. All I know that there a loads of people here that will help in anyway that they can. I have been clean now since 24th February and intend to stay clean. Good luck

williamD1964

Your post really touched a nerve. My main problem is not the horses or dogs, its the fixed odds machines, and mainly the roulette. My other problem was, and is, I am crap at it. I have never (nor intend to) downloaded any gambling software. Glad you have deleted yours.

williamD1964

Am with you all the way mate. Small steps, one day at a time. :money::beer:

cantcope

Welcome to the thread and well dont on posting such an honest account.

I go to GA and i dont know why it helps me but it does. If you are worried about going because your wife would find out you shouldnt. It's called Gamblers Anonymous for a reason and thats because it's anonymous.
Personally i think you need to be honest with your wife as all the time she thinks you aren't gambling you have the door open to do it. If she knew you were really trying to stop she could support you. But, that's only my opinion.

Draw a line under the money you have lost. You've already realised that even if you have a win you'll end up losing anyway. It's like a temporary loan from the bookies. You cannot get this money back. Well done on working on your debts. They can be cleared but only if you stop gambling.

Good luck. Just for today i will not gamble.

GeorgeUK

Insomnia, it might also be worth putting gamblock or some other software on your computer that will block access to the sites.

Riq, hate to see you going through this but at least you have your priorities right and are staying strong. Wish things had worked out differently, but we're here if you need us.

Hope everyone else is doing okay.

williamD1964

Well done mate. As always small steps, and one day at a time. Might be best though if you can avoid walking past those shops! Fund another route and avoid the temptation.
Keep up the good work

cantcope

well done. one day at a time, you're doing well. I agree with William, try to find a different route so you dont need to walk past them x

KPR11

InsomniaEndsHere wrote: »

Just stopping by to say its now been 48 hours since my last bet! Doesnt sound alot but believe me I am happy with myself, I managed to walk pass William Hill and Ladbrokes on the way home from work and not go inside!

Well done mate!

I know a couple of people have mentioned that you should try to change the route if you can, I think it is a great idea but do realise that sometimes it's just not possible (I work next to a casino) so you might need to find a way that works for you... walk across the road maybe? Somthing that works for me is that I tend to start muttering "i am not going to go in" to myself when I am walking past temptation!! :o

Stay strong, the first few days are the hardest. I am sure you will come through, good luck!