ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

TotallyBroke

riq... you don't have to use the counselling to reconcile your marriage if you both don't want to. You can actually use it to make the seperation easier for you both and the children.

You both finding mortgages maybe difficult so as someone else suggested would renting be an option. You could also consider sharing the mortgage (instead of maintenance) to give the children the stability of their home until they reached 16yo. That way the DMP could be finished and you both maybe in a better position financially to buy the other out.

It's all stuff that needs to be discussed and counselling may help you both to keep the channels of communication open.

I wish you all the luck, I hope you can make it as easy as possible.

GeorgeUK

Hi guys, how's everyone doing?

Not been thinking about gambling or anything and quite busy at work so i'm okay.

Hope you all are too.

Ames

Just caught up with the thread, George I'm so sorry you've had such a tough time, I'm glad you've got through it tough.

Riq, I'm so sorry to hear about your marriage. I think that counselling would be a good thing to help you both move on and make the split amicable, as TB said. I hope things work out for you, you've worked so hard and you really deserve it.

riquelme

thanks ames and everyone, havent been to any meetings recently in an attempt to save marriage but need to go tonight although ive been able to offload a little here with you lovely people.

still gamble free and my OH admitted she has concerns i am still doing it due to the amount of time i spend on the computer, i obviously denied it.

19 months without a bet, debts coming down, it can be done

stay strong, today i will not gamble

Ames

Riq, would it help to show her this thread so she can see how hard you work at staying on the wagon? Could you show her the computer history so she knows what you're doing and that it's not gambling?

gggareth

cantcope wrote: »

Hi everyone.

GGGareth. I'm sorry i was so short on my post. We've had a few nasties on here. I hope you got through yesterday without a bet. There's nothing wrong with you watching the rugby although it's not advisable to start with if you would normally put money on it.

Welcome JazzKing. I started exactly the same as you with a double your deposit offer. That original £10 deposit cost me almost 80k within 18 months.

Close all your accounts and get a block put on your pc so that you cannot gamble. Things can get better and it really is best to stop now. You've realised you have no control and if you carry on it will get a lot lot worse.
You have to accept you wont ever get your losses back. Even if you win, you will end up putting it back in anyway.

Good luck xx

I've revisit this thread occasionally for inspiration.. it's over one year now and i still struggle not betting, but i have not had a bet for 365 days...:D

cantcope

Thats great news Gareth

cantcope

riquelme wrote: »

thanks ames and everyone, havent been to any meetings recently in an attempt to save marriage but need to go tonight although ive been able to offload a little here with you lovely people.

still gamble free and my OH admitted she has concerns i am still doing it due to the amount of time i spend on the computer, i obviously denied it.

19 months without a bet, debts coming down, it can be done

stay strong, today i will not gamble

Hi Riq,

Have you ever taken your OH to an open meeting? Maybe if she went to one it may help her understand. Even if it doesnt help your relationship it may help her to realise she isn't alone. I hope you get something out of the meeting tonight. I'm off to one myself. I only miss them if i'm ill. I wouldnt have missed betting for anything so i dont miss my meetings either even though i feel strong i know the only reason i do is because of them

boney10021

Hi

Dont know where to start really, I spent 2 hours reading this whole thread earlier and then still gambled some more.

Ive lost another £500 in the last two hours! Thought id got some inspiration from reading but obviously not.

I've now got a 9k loan, just over 8k on 1 credit card and 5k on the other, going to try and consolidate the 5k into my loan again(other card on interest free). Really dont know why I do it, dont gamble constantly at all but when i do it I really do it. Last onling gamble was just prior to xmas(23/12) and I hadnt done it again until today. Came clean with my oh before xmas and she has been great all things considered not sure id have been as understanding. Got two kids 10 and 11 and when i think about what we could have done with the money that ive spent in 3 or four goes over last few years thats what kills me. We could have had plenty of holidays out of that me and the oh could have even got married. Im not going to tell her about this £500 or I think we'll be through.

When I read about what other posters have been through it really scares me tbh.

Did usual today of winning back what id spent and then still not stopping, must have seriously thought i could get back 20k in one go - dont see a way out of it really - we both have god jobs and can pay it back, If i stop now, but its the guilt of it all the time and the thinking of what we could have done with the money.

Thanks for listening

boney10021

Just tried to consolidate my loan and had it turned down - not suprising really - bit of a risk aren't I? Now I really dont know what im going to do -