ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

cantcope

None of us noticed. You are not alone in this. You have done really well so far x

k2tog

Just wanted to post to say what a great supportive thread this is. I've read the beginning, then skipped some of the middle and then read the last bits. I don't have a gambling problem but have been around others who have and can appreciate the slippery slope that many of you have described.
Well done to all of you who have managed to be gamble-free for a day, a week, a year or more. It's a great achievement.

GeorgeUK

How's everyone doing?

Was with my brother in a pub when i went up to stay with him over the weekend and he always plays the fruit machines. He tried to get me to play (knows i don't gamble and why), but i just told him to do it himself.

When i was coming back, at the train station i noticed one of the bars had a fruit machine and i wondered - what would it hurt? I'm actually glad i didn't have any money on me and there was no cashpoint nearby because i should definately not even be thinking that. I guess even just being with someone when they gamble is bad for me.

Glad to say all is okay with me.
How's everone else doing?

louisewh123

thought id pop in and say hi. My partner racked up a very large amount of debt due to gambling. We now have 70,000 left to pay off. He hasnt gambled for two years. I am very proud of him for packing it in but it does really get me down when i think that all that money we pay back is for nothing!! I could have bought half a house for that amount!! anyway, it is tuff and even tho i love him so much i would leave him within secinds of finding out he had done it again. He doesnt have access to money anymore, no bank account and very bad credit rating! I really like the idea of a support network as it does really get me down thinking about it as even 2 years on, i am still living with it all.

riquelme

GeorgeUK wrote: »

How's everyone doing?

Was with my brother in a pub when i went up to stay with him over the weekend and he always plays the fruit machines. He tried to get me to play (knows i don't gamble and why), but i just told him to do it himself.

When i was coming back, at the train station i noticed one of the bars had a fruit machine and i wondered - what would it hurt? I'm actually glad i didn't have any money on me and there was no cashpoint nearby because i should definately not even be thinking that. I guess even just being with someone when they gamble is bad for me.

Glad to say all is okay with me.
How's everone else doing?

doing fine here and to be honest george its only normal that you feel like you did, i do when i sometimes walk past bookies or see adverts, i occassionally get that urge but it goes no further

louisewh123 wrote: »

thought id pop in and say hi. My partner racked up a very large amount of debt due to gambling. We now have 70,000 left to pay off. He hasnt gambled for two years. I am very proud of him for packing it in but it does really get me down when i think that all that money we pay back is for nothing!! I could have bought half a house for that amount!! anyway, it is tuff and even tho i love him so much i would leave him within secinds of finding out he had done it again. He doesnt have access to money anymore, no bank account and very bad credit rating! I really like the idea of a support network as it does really get me down thinking about it as even 2 years on, i am still living with it all.

nice to hear that a recovering gambler is getting some love and support, stick with him, dont trust him and no one would blame you if you left him if he did it again, thats the position im in and it keeps me away from gambling. in fact i rarely think about gambling now although i regret so much what ive done and think what we couldve done with the money and i know it hurts my partner.

stay strong everyone

cantcope

Hi George. Don't feel bad, the main thing is you didnt gamble. Temptation will always be around its how you deal with it. But yes, seeing your brother play will not have helped. You'll know this for next time. maybe explain to him how it made you feel and he might be more supportive next time and stay away from the machine when he's in your company.

Louise, nice to see you post on here. I can't imagine how it feels "on the other side" but its nice to see you are supporting your OH and he's stayed off for 2 years. I imagine it's easier when you have someone to support you. Living alone i sometimes find it quite difficult as i know i wouldnt be hurting anyone but myself. But thats when i remember how ill i made myself, how stony broke i was and how life had no meaning.

Please post again if you would like some support and maybe your OH could post too? There are a few non gamblers that post on here some are still with their partners, some aren't. Everyone is welcome

All good here. I love reading this thread, its like a little bit of therapy for me to read it over and over. same as i like reading my first post as "cantcope". it reminds me how far i've come. I used to post as an MSE under a different name until i cracked.

Hope everyone has a good, bet free weekend x

riquelme

good stuff as always CC, so pleased youre doing well. for me it was a bad day yesterday, went to see my team pla footy and after went to pick kids and OH from friends where my OH had a bit too much to drink and sort of mocked my attempt to show a bit of thought as i didnt want them to walk home in the cold and wet she then went on to make me feel stupid on a number of occasions until i ended up taking the kids home by myself. i really dont want us to end up having bad feelings between us, she's got a hangover today so when the kids go to bed theres a few things to sort out.

still no gambling though

buddiebabe

riquelme wrote: »

good stuff as always CC, so pleased youre doing well. for me it was a bad day yesterday, went to see my team pla footy and after went to pick kids and OH from friends where my OH had a bit too much to drink and sort of mocked my attempt to show a bit of thought as i didnt want them to walk home in the cold and wet she then went on to make me feel stupid on a number of occasions until i ended up taking the kids home by myself. i really dont want us to end up having bad feelings between us, she's got a hangover today so when the kids go to bed theres a few things to sort out.

still no gambling though

Sorry to hear your having a bad time of it at the moment i hope things get better for you soon.

I haven't posted in a while but still keep up to date reading new posts just doing that helps me not to gamble. Its been a funny couple of weeks. I keep getting emails from various companies telling me about all the special offers and the free money and they always end up in my spam folder, however, last week i had a few that sent me messages for my birthday and free money :mad: so my fiance opened them and he used his computer to play the free money.... i don't have my passwords and didnt win so that was an end to that.... i also got him to close the accounts that were still running for me.

We have recently set a date for the wedding and i think the stress of it all is starting to get to me. For the first time in a long time i had a dream about gambling and i actually woke up in a cold sweat and in tears because of it. In my dream i was loosing and then started to win but all i could think about was i shouldn't be doing this. My fiance said i was tossing and turning all night and i kept him awake. It was a horrible feeling watching myself spending all that money knowing i could use it to buy things for the wedding. It really scared me. I just hope that i can hold it together and not be tempted im just so tired at the moment and am finding it hard to concentrate on anything.

Still on track for a gambling free 2010 and beyond

Hope everyone else is ok

Buddiebabe x

cantcope

Hey buddiebabe. Glad to see you are doing so well. Don't worry too much about your dream. I have them now and again over 3 years on. The good thing is you knew in your dream it was wrong.

Mine always seem to be me worried as there's no way i could spend my winnings anyway without someone knowing i gambled.... who could i tell? not that i would have any winnings anyway as i know i'd gamble them all away.

Great that you have the wedding to concentrate on. Try not to stress too much. Think of what you've achieved in your life by not gambling... if you can do that, a wedding is eeeeeasssyyyy. Wishing you all the best. and no more nasty dreams for a while xx

GeorgeUK

So how's everyone diddlin'?

Must admit i'm struggling. Don't know if it's just the stress at work getting to me or if i'm just more depressed than usual right now (miserable so 'n' so more than clinical).

Was paying off my monthly payments to the cards and had my debit card beside me (couldn't remember the CCV). I started to sign up to one of the casino's that's doing a big marketing campaign right now. Closed it down because it's just going to be trouble. Started again - what harm would it do if i only took the free thing they're offering. Must have hummed and hawed and stared at that screen for about 2 minutes with about 3 of the fields filled in.

Finally closed it down and went back downstairs with my card. That's the closes i've been to really losing it - only problem is i don't know why i was even thinking it. I've just paid towards the cards and got my total debt sub 15k.

Can't even get pleased or motivated about that.

I think i need a springclean - not the stuff in the house but to get myself out of the gloom and air the inside of my head. Must admit i've become lazy at home (copying my dad) - i don't really do anything and am on the computer too much. Need to get fit, need to get healthy and need to get some motivation going.

So everything's okay at my end (near enough - thank god)
How's everyone else? Any ups, downs, bumps in the road?
(Still got my fingers crossed for you Riq)