ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

Ames

Thanks guys, it means a lot that you're so concerned about me. I've been thinking about what you said all day, but I honestly don't think the gambling is a risk to me. I'll explain the situation better.

Ex owed me £20 that I'd lent him. He talked me into joining him in this loyalty card thing instead of him paying me back, and stupidly I agreed. Because it had to be in my name cos of the rules, I've got the free bet.

The gambling side didn't touch me at all. I do have a problem, but it's not gambling and it wont be. My problem is letting him talk me into giving him money all the time. Apart from what the money's spent on, it's exactly the same as three weeks ago when he talked me into buying dominos takeaway for the two of us, even though it was £18 out of my weekly budget of £25. Or when he talks me into giving him a lift even though it messes up my plans for the day.

I can honestly say that I wasn't interested in the gambling. As far as I was concerned, when I 'woke up' and realised I'd bought something for him again, it was just the same as when it's been pizza or petrol. I didn't give a damn about the result, because to me the money was gone. When I looked up the result, 'my' bet didn't really occur to me, all I was thinking was 'I hope he's lost, so it doesn't give him another excuse to carry on'.

So, I do have a big problem, which this situation has highlighted (again) but it's not, and 99% certainly wont be, betting. It's letting myself be manipulated. And it's not just a problem with him, I do it with my sister and others too.

As for the bet, I'm going to place it on something of my choosing. I don't care about the result or anything, I just want to show him a lesson. He'll see it as me 'stealing' the bet from him, so he'll feel how I did all those times. Petty, yes. But the start of a slippery slope? No.

I hope that doesn't offend anyone. I'm not saying that gambling isn't a problem, or belittling your experiences. It's just not a problem for me - I've only bet a couple of times in my life (each time being talked into it by ex) and it really does nothing for me. Not like my personal addictions (comfort eating being the main one), which I need to sort out.

Ames

Oh, and Cantcope, I know it's just a way to get people betting. Ex has spent £200 on this stupid scheme in a week! I don't think even he would have spent that much normally (then again, he probably would as his student grant hit and for all him saying he needed books and things, it was bound to end up in a bookies, this scam has just guaranteed which one it went to). I'm actually disgusted by it, it's just inducing people to bet, I'm sure there are people who just bet a couple of quid a week on their team who've been dragged down by it, and it's a nightmare for problem gamblers - it's supposed to be one chance per person, but ex has managed to get 5 going. But I've ranted enough about irresponsible shops so I wont go into it again here.

cantcope

Hi Ames. If you can have a bet yourself then i would do it. I only said lose it so that he couldnt persuade you to bet on something for him x

TotallyBroke

Hi everyone,

Good to see that you are all well and those of you that have stopped gambling have continued to do so.
Welcome to the new members who are struggling with family members. There are lots of advice and support here. I learned a lot about gambling from the experiences of others here. It didn't save my relationship but everyone did give me the confidence to make a stand and say "gambling or family. YOU choose" he chose the gambling and 11months on is still spending his wages before he has earned them. The good thing for me is that my bank balance is now at a healthy amount and ds and I are loving life.

Please everyone be strong and do what is best for you.

cantcope

Thats so good to hear TB. Well done you xxx

GeorgeUK

What's up guys?

Thread's gone a bit quiet again so thought i'd give it a bump.
Don't forget that alot of the gambling companies send out CD's and email offers around this time of year - jsut be vigilant for it and don't get upset of OH starts to ask why they're sending stuff to you. Last year i was getting stuff from companies i'd never even heard of.

Hope everyone (and their missus) are doing okay.

cantcope

That's a great point George. Before i stopped for good I had promised myself i'd stop. I did about 3 weeks then got a parcel... was a christmas cracker from jackpotjoy. When i pulled it it said if i put ni the code they'd put £200 in my account.... i logged on, got the £200, spent it, and it all started again until i went to GA in the following May. I think that "free" £200 probably cost me an extra £30k

they are very clever and know exactly how to reel in the problem gamblers.

Dont be tempted like i was.

xgingerx

Hi Guys, well im here because im in a mess, im on a dmp so money is tight but i want to block all gaming sites, i heard there is free ones but for the life of me i cant find anything ?

Can anyone help, this would be greatly appreciated, so far ive used the free trails to get me by but im now running out of options, ive sellf exculded from quite a few sites but i just want the temptation taken away from me, other than bin my laptop and access to internet which is a little too drastic,

Appreciate your help
Thanks

TMoose

Hi Ginger, and welcome to the GFW thread!

I'm not aware of any free blockers, however Gamblock @ £30 is good value for money! Think of how quickly you would have spent that at the gambling sites...

Alternatively, if you have an OH who know's what's what, ask if they can assist you by either a) paying for Gamblock, or b) monitoring your usage (i.e. sitting next to you when you are surfing/playing games). Sometimes just the chance of being "caught" by someone you love can be as good a deterrent.

Personally I've been clean 238 days now, and I'm still counting every day as a success. I managed without Gamblock, but I still get the occasional tempting e-mail! So I just have to stay strong, and use all sorts of deflection techniques - which can be quite entertaining if you've got an OH to get me through...

If you need any support, or want a shoulder to lean/cry on, this thread is full of wonderful people who've been to gambling-hell and lived to tell the tale. George/ames/TB/riquelme/cantcope being real stars of keeping us on the straight and narrow.


Moose

xgingerx

thanks, ive added this to my subscription