ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

poppyg_2

No_more_credit_thanks wrote: »

I had gambled sensibly for fun for a fewyears, since i was 19 or so, a pound or so on a fun football accumulator and very occasional small ew bets on horses. Probably down but not by much, nothing to really worry about.THEN, came the roulette machines in the bookies. I didn't play them for a while, thought i'd try a fiver, won the best part of £1k then proceeded to lose about 3k a month, when only taking home £1k a month at the time. My LBM came when i couldn't get another consolidation loan to consolidate my CC's other loans. When i totalled it all up i was £24k in debt at 25 year old after having £5k in saving at 23!

The real point here is that during the dark days playing roulette, I still knew the value of money (would buy reduced items, shop around for the best products etc) but totally blanked out gambling money as an expense, treating hundreds of £'s like monopoly money. I'd begrudge paying £3 for a pint but wouldn't blink at spending £100 on a crazy spin of a fixed odds bettting terminal. How do gamblers manage to just brush off the notion thats its expensive, or it isn't actually money being gambled? I've asked myself loads but could never fathom it out.

I've not attended any GA or anything like that, i've pretty much sorted myself out. Debt now stands at about 7k, i still have the occasionaly flutter on the football and play poker for very small stakes a bit but will never ever ever venture anywhere near fixed odd's games again, i know my weakness. Which I personally think is half the battle won.

The worst thing anyone could ever do if and when they start gambling is win Big, the best thing that could happen to anyone is Lose once to avoid thinking the big win is just around the corner.

Yep another downfall of mine was discovering those machines and at first winning a fair bit, thinking I could play the system. I stopped for a couple of months then decided to have another go, won several hundred pound so decided that time I really did know how to win then ended up of course losing a whole load of cash. OH kept wondering why I was out of the house so long and eventually ended up having to confess my sins

Am now working hard to get out of debt but just wish I'd never discovered them and internet gambling, I used to be pretty sensible with cash

Jif_2

I was wondering if any of you guys know if payplan or cccs will help you set up a dmp if they know that the debts all stem from gambling.
I desperately need help in some kind of arrangement as since all the money that I now owe is only from online internet casinos, I have never used the credit cards for anything else, as I don't believe in credit!
So all the payments are treated as cash payments and and I know owe circa 30K the minimum payments basically are not reducing the debt at all, as it only covers the interst rate.

I am 100% responsible for this but what makes me sick is that I could gamble two thousandi in a night, night after night. heaps of transactions and never once have the credit card companies queried a single transaction.

Has any one been able to do a dmp when the debt is all from gambling, am too scared to ask directly and so ashamed.
Thanks in advance fro any advice x

riquelme

JIF - nothing to be ashamed about, i am in exactly the same position. im 20000 in debt through gambling. contact cccs or payplan asap. and they wlill talk you through what will happen irrespective of where the debts come from, believe me.

they will set a day and time for a proper interview, you will need to do some preparation for this, basically a SOA.

it may take a couple of weeks to get the interview but dont worry.

you will also need to contact your cxreditors and offer them a token payment and explain the situation and give them your cccs ref number.

also you must stop gambling, right now.

ive done my conkers exactly the same way mate 3 weeks back and got stung for 20k. its been horrible. but i feel lots better now, still got my family etc .

been to GA and thats helped too

ive also installed gamblock on my computer so that i cant access any gambling sites,

i wish you all the best my friend, its going to be tough but help is out there.

good luck, pm me if you wish and if you need to talk to me i will give you my number

best wishes,and promise me you will do

1. contact cccs tommorrow
2. no gambling, its stops now mate, you wont win it back

riquelme

bump

back to the top.

poppyg_2

Totally agree with Riquelme, I spoke to Payplan and explained to them where the debts came from and it made no difference to their advice, they were sympathetic and very helpful - although I have come to an informal arrangement with my creditors myself as I found this the best option for me to deal with creditors direct (PM me if you want details on how to go about this)

Yep as you say all the money going on your card and never queried, I had exactly the same thing but I guess the cc companies don't care what you're spending on as long as they get the money plus all the interest back again, it's not their concern

It is a long and painful road recovering from gambling, as with any addiction except in some ways it's worse because you don't get as much sympathy from others as you would if it were a drug addiction, it seems to have a different stigma attached, especially if you're female like me (some people just thought I was stupid and couldn't understand what I'd done considering I am intelligent and have a decent job). Yes I have been stupid but I just lost all sense of control I guess and now I'm paying the price (literally!!)

Jif_2

riquelme wrote: »

JIF - nothing to be ashamed about, i am in exactly the same position. im 20000 in debt through gambling. contact cccs or payplan asap. and they wlill talk you through what will happen irrespective of where the debts come from, believe me.

they will set a day and time for a proper interview, you will need to do some preparation for this, basically a SOA.

it may take a couple of weeks to get the interview but dont worry.

you will also need to contact your cxreditors and offer them a token payment and explain the situation and give them your cccs ref number.

also you must stop gambling, right now.

ive done my conkers exactly the same way mate 3 weeks back and got stung for 20k. its been horrible. but i feel lots better now, still got my family etc .

been to GA and thats helped too

ive also installed gamblock on my computer so that i cant access any gambling sites,

i wish you all the best my friend, its going to be tough but help is out there.

good luck, pm me if you wish and if you need to talk to me i will give you my number

best wishes,and promise me you will do

1. contact cccs tommorrow
2. no gambling, its stops now mate, you wont win it back

Thank you riquelme
I did install gamblock on my computer about 12 days ago now, something I should have done a long time ago, but I believed I would have enough will power and sense not to gamble anymore after crawling into bed at 6.30 a.m after another mammoth all nighter feeling so sick and ill ,would not wish that on anyone. Also mega money lighter.
I don't believe though the actual gambling was naything to do with money because when I did win, I was releived so that I could be able to play longer!
Then sometimes through utter exhaustion willing the balance down to zero so that I could escape from 'the game'!
Even now twelve days later the demons are there, as only last night this voice from no where said you could buy a laptop and well you can imagine the rest the three hundred quid laptop would cost me my life.....

I did contact cccs via email thing on their site about a few weeks back they actually kept ringing me but I did not ahve the courage to answer the phone, as I feel like a fraudster, no need for any of you to hung and quarter me cos I am perfectly capable fo that myself.

The main worry is that one of the debts is a 13k loan i tok out only in May had three months free and have only made one payment to that this was intended to pay off the cards, which I did do, but then maxed them all out again, I have not one single item for all this debt that I ahve physically bought as I am a frugal person, make sense???????

so since I filled in the cccs debt thing and was advised on the site I needed a dmp I now owe a few more than I did then
It's just I am so afraid to say well I built up all this debt in such a short space of time cos I am a compulsive gambler and always will be can never gamble again, even the 2p machines I cn stand and play for hour at a time, it sucks me in.
Do you not think the creditors will come down real hard on you cos the debts are gambling debts? I mean I can hardly see them stopping interest when they are charging like 29.9 % can you?
Anyway enough of my ramblings, thanks for listening.
bless you all x

Jif_2

poppyg wrote: »

Totally agree with Riquelme, I spoke to Payplan and explained to them where the debts came from and it made no difference to their advice, they were sympathetic and very helpful - although I have come to an informal arrangement with my creditors myself as I found this the best option for me to deal with creditors direct (PM me if you want details on how to go about this)

Yep as you say all the money going on your card and never queried, I had exactly the same thing but I guess the cc companies don't care what you're spending on as long as they get the money plus all the interest back again, it's not their concern

It is a long and painful road recovering from gambling, as with any addiction except in some ways it's worse because you don't get as much sympathy from others as you would if it were a drug addiction, it seems to have a different stigma attached, especially if you're female like me (some people just thought I was stupid and couldn't understand what I'd done considering I am intelligent and have a decent job). Yes I have been stupid but I just lost all sense of control I guess and now I'm paying the price (literally!!)

Thank you Poppy for your advice, it certainly sucks the life out of you, and the moment your guard slips well you have had it, I can't think about tomorrow all I can do is not gamble today, tis enough to deal with today without thinking of all the tomorrows. I only ever started with a tenner after all what's a tenner I can afford that (justification) well then it would be another tenner then that went too quick then 25's then 50's then eventualy 100's all in the same night so I never actually knew how much it was and was too scared and sick to look, it has taken me until yesterday to have the courage to find out what my actual balances total to.
I guess it is the same as a first drink to an alcholic you can never just have a flutter.
kind regards to you and keep up all the good work

riquelme

JIF - dont worry no one is going to judge you on here. you are right its an illness.
you are like a mirror image of me, what you are saying i have done only 3 weeks previously.
listen your creditors want their money back, what you are saying with a DMP is listen im having some trouble with my finances, i want to deal with but cant afford fuill payments. you work through withh cccs what you can afford. (this is where im at) and hopefully our creditors will accept it


JIF - do it, get in touch with CCCS nad get the ball rolling, once you do, things become clearer and you can see a way out of it. believe me please.

we could swap places and you would see the same thing happening to me, i have a loan that is only 3 months old too, and that loan was to pay other debts off. its all true mate.

please please please get the ball rolling, doesnt matter if its gambling debts.

let us know how you get on and keep in touch

best wishes

Ames

Aargh just typed a long message then the window closed!

The football season's started again so OH is gambling again. He says he's limiting himself to £5 lottery and £10 football a week, but his income is carer's allowance of £50, so it's nearly a third of his income that he's gambling.

I'm really worried that it wont be enough and he'll end up using my money and bill money again. He uses my card while I'm asleep to gamble online. I contacted the poker company once saying that he'd used my card fraudulently and they wouldn't do anything and neither would the police. I've told him that if he uses my money again I'll throw him out, but I'm not strong enough to physically throw him out if he wont go himself.

I know it's an illness, I've got mental health problems myself and so I do understand to an extent. And you've all on this thread helped me to understand a bit more. But if it starts to affect me then I'll have to act in my own interests. I hope that's not too harsh.

Sorry about this, I just wanted to be able to vent to people who'd understand.

poppyg_2

Ames, I know it sounds ridiculous but could you hide your cards overnight so that he can't get to them, even if it's just a temporary measure. You obviously can't run the risk of him effectively stealing from him. Do you have credit cards yourself or is it your debit card he uses? Maybe if it's a debit card you could change this into one which is just a 'hole in the wall' card rather than one you can use to buy things. Again drastic measures but if you want to stay with him and help him maybe this is going to be what it takes.

Is your OH interested in GA? I've never been myself but I did go as far as to research other people's stories regarding gambling to see if other people felt the same as me.

It doesn't really sound as though your OH has had his 'proper' LBM, by this I mean the LBM where he actually realises that he really hasn't got the willpower to limit himself to small bets.

Was it the football type betting he has been addicted to in the first place or has his problem been mainly machines/online games or everything? For example, I never ever bet large amounts on say football, horses etc it was just the machines and online games (slots, roulette etc) that I got myself into, they seemed to just hypnotise me because of the large money on offer and I guess the sense of 'fun' so it was these that I was addicted to rather than the actual gambling itself if that makes sense? I'd never have dreamt of having a large bet on an actual race but wouldn't think twice about wasting a £200 in a machine, crazy really