ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

riquelme

joebob88 wrote: »

I think i'm becoming addicted to online bingo and casinos. i have'nt run up any debts but have just had my debit card rejected and I've spent all my earnings. My husband doesn't know I do it and I want to try and get back on track myself.

I started off doing bingo and then i discovered roulette and for a while I was winning but I think i've played over and above any winnings I may have had.

Any advice?

Thanks

joe bob - if you read any provious postings you may find similar stories. this is how i got into another mess again. had a problem 5 years ago. thought i had it sussed then opened an on line account and a few bingo accounts that gave me free £10 credit, won £100 a few times and chased it a bit until i realised that i was losing. so i tried roulette and blackjack. was winning for a month or 2 and managed to clear approx £3000 in credit card bills - GREAT. then came a losing run and within a week i had lost £20,000. nightmare.

my advice to you is to stop now, before you get in a mess. ring the online accounts and cancel them. get rid of cards that you dont need. and you may want toi attend your nearest gamblers anon meeting. i go everyweek and there are others on here that attend.

there is also gamblock that blocks access to gambling sites and costs approx £30 per year. if that sounds a lot its a lot less than £20,000

there is also newlife which is similar to above but is free


joebob - if you can manage it, try not to gamble today, take 1 day at a time

come back and talk us anytime, we are a friendly bunch and going through or have been through what you are going through

Triggles

Ok, so I have a question. I have spent some money on online gambling over the past few months (approximately £250). I know I shouldn't have, and I am taking money out of my "pin money" (which is what DH & I term our personal money we allot ourselves each month) each month to pay that off the credit card. DH doesn't know about this. I had what I suppose is a LBM when I spent time talking to a friend last night, who has decided to come visit. I think one of the reasons I was doing it was because I felt a bit alone. DH is working lots of hours and I hardly see him. I have spoken to him about the long hours last night, and he agreed that we don't have enough "us" time together. What I've won has far outweighed what I've lost, but I worry it could tip at any time. So I am going to stop the pay sites.

However. There is a free site that I really enjoy - it doesn't cost ANYTHING - and it has just bingo and slots. You play with points only, and if you win loads of points (which I do regularly), you can redeem them for vouchers for amazon. We've bought quite a few of our christmas presents from those vouchers. I generally play this in the evening (although occasionally during the day) when the little ones are sleeping and DH is at work. Once I've made the decision not to go to any pay sites, I feel I can stick to it. But I don't want to give up the free site, as we benefit from it without it costing any money or invading family time. Is this horrible? Money is tight and I feel so guilty about spending that money on the credit card, I at least feel like I'm making amends (without DH knowing) by getting those free vouchers. I know some would say it's a slippery slope to continue playing. But if I do play the points site, and I feel myself slipping I can completely step away for awhile, right? Or come on here for some moral support?

cantcope

Hi Joebob and Triggles.

If you read my signature you'll see how much debt i got into and that was after spending approx 60-70k that i'd made selling a flat. I did all of that money in 14 months after starting off with just a tenner a week. This thing grabs you and you cant shake it without help.
I tried playing on a site that was free but all it did was keep the buzz going and when i won on it it tempted me back to playing for money so although it keeps you occupied i wouldnt recommend it.

there are plenty of other things you can do to occupy yourself. Posting on here for starters, applying for all the freebies onsite. You'll be amazed at how much time you can waste doing that.

i started off with online bingo, then the slots that were on the same screen, then roulette, then poker, then bigger slots, blackjack all at the same time.
It's a horrible progressive addiction.

I wish you both luck. Take a look at the GA website. There are 20 questions on there and i think if you answer yes to 8 or more then you have a problem. We can help you here but you'll get fantastic support if you decide to go to a meeting too.

Best Wishes. xx

TB. hope you got the block put on last night xx

TotallyBroke

Hi to you all.

I didn't manage to get the block put on and probably won't until the weekend. I'm in a quandry whether I do it and don't tell OH or if I should tell him before I do it. Either way I can feel an awful lot of sulking from him and possibly an arguement brewing.

I rang GA helpline on Tuesday to see if the Acton branch of GA had open evenings. Apparantly they don't and any other meeting is too far away to get to via public transport or bike (OH does not drive).

When he come home that evening I asked him if he had been going and he answered yes he had gone every week apart from the two when he was at home. I told him that if he ever gambled again (especially in my name with my details) it was over for good, and it will be.

I'm about to look at online banking now hopefully I won't get into a bad mood for the rest of the day. The girls at work must be sick of me by now.

Triggles

Cantcope - thanks. I understand what you mean about the excitement of the free sites. But I'm going to try to keep playing on the free site for awhile - partly because the vouchers I'm winning for free are helping to pay for Christmas and partly because I enjoy it. I guess it will be a test of my will power. If I feel like it's too difficult, then I will have to re-examine that. I have noticed that when I'm winning on that site, I don't get the urge to play further on pay sites. I am just thrilled that I have an Amazon voucher coming my way. And when I'm losing on the free site, I just play a little on it, then go do something else (household wise - not playing wise). I have made a promise to myself - no paying sites/games for the rest of 2008. Then once I can prove to myself that I can do that, then I will go from there. Small goals seem better to me. I've actually felt really good since I decided that. I don't know how healthy it is, but I'm drawing a line under the previous gaming. No guilt, no reproaching myself. When I feel frustrated and upset, the urge to play is more, so I figure put it behind me and don't dwell on it or it will become a vicious cycle. Here's hoping it works.

joebob88

Thank you to riquelme and cantcope for your words of wisdom.

Today has been a mixture of success and failure- I have failed in that I have gambled today when I intended not to, however it is a success in that I have only spent £20 and when that ran out I stopped.

I'm a bit wary of putting gamblock on as I don't want my husband to find out - I feel so ashamed and I want to prove to myself I can take control of it without it affecting him.

I should be able to manage tomorrow as I have a busy day - hopefully.

I had a quick look at the GA website and I answered yes to 7 of the questions - I think that has helped cement the realisation of what could happen if I keep going; that and some of your stories on here.

cantcope

Well done for looking on the sire Joebob. It certainly makes you feel less alone.
Sorry to hear you gambled today. Did you stop because you didnt want to spend more than £20? or did you stop because you had no money left? There's quite a big difference.
I found the best question i was asked was: can you stop when youre winning? can you stop when you're losing? i answered no to both and only ever stopped when i hd no more money that day.

Triggles, you are right to try and put it behind you. dwelling on whats happened doesnt help, moving forward and being determined not to do it again is what counts.
good luck all. off out now

moneyspender1981

Hi i am a gambler... I heard there is software you can put on your laptop to stop you getting onto the sites. ... does anyone know what it is please?

riquelme

gamblock - approx £30 per year

ive been told that there is a free piece of software called newlife, but dont know much about it

good luck

joebob88

Ok, so yesterday I gambled £20, but i stopped when i could have deposited more.

I haven't deposited any money today but I have gambled the bonus money I had in one account.

The weekend won't be a problem as i'll be busy enough to distract myself.

The biggest hurdle will be Monday when i'm on my own in the day.

As of Monday the 10th November I will NOT be entering any gambling sites!