ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

Oh_Dear

Good for you two, am pleased its all going ok.

Wishing you all a Merry Christmas.

cantcope

Great news Madone. Christmas is coming so keep yourself busy and try to enjoy the festivities without worrying about money or gambling. xx

Madone13

Afternoon all, things still going strong for me and I haven't had a bet.

Just been reading through the thread from about March this year, so many posts I can relate to and perhaps not as much success as we would all have liked (myself included bigtime!). All I can say is that Cantcope you mentioned patience earlier in the year - well you must have the patience of a saint to keep giving out so much wonderful advice and support despite all the rubbish that people like me have managed to ignore during the year.


Twirly - I read that you've just started at Uni. I managed to spend 3 years gambling my way through uni and ended up with a 2:2 as a result. I think its a really hard time as you've often got a huge amount of spare time and money can be tight.. You'll enjoy uni so much more and get so much more out of it with out the gambling. I don't know what your situation is like financially but can you give your money for the term to a parent at the beginning of each term and ask them to set up a standing order to give it you weekly? That way if you do slip up you won't put the rest of term at risk?

I hope everyone has a wonderful gamble free Christmas and take one day at a time!

cantcope

Was my last day at work today for 5 days I'm going to spend some quality time with my family and husband. It's been a really exciting year for me. One i could never have imagined when i was gambling. I was too wrapped up in what i was going to buy everyone when i won............oh how sad and pathetic that sounds now.....

Merry Christmas everyone. xx Don't forget to post if you need to. I tend to check everyday. Mostly because the first time i called GA the person who answered couldnt be bothered to talk to me. I realise how important it is now x

Thanks for your kind words Madone. I think my hubby and family would disagree with the patience thing. I am still incredibly impatient. However, where gambling is concerned I am, really passionate about helping someone take back control of their life. I almost ended mine and i would hate ANYONE to feel like that and have nobody to talk to x

bigloser

Merry Christmas everyone!

Personally, this is the best Christmas I have had for a few years. I am spending a lovely few days off work, enjoying family life with my husband and our two kids who are both home from university.

I can barely even remember Christmas Day 2010, but I know that I bought all the presents on a credit card because I had gambled away all our money. Unfortunately because I was gambling up until very recently I have had to do the same this year. And because I am still hiding my addiction, I have had to spend far more than we can afford, to keep everyone from realising how broke we are!

I will be tackling our debts as soon as Christmas is over, but it is going to be a very, very, VERY long haul. Not all of my debt has gone directly into casinos, but the gambling skewed my relationship with money/reality which led me to some very bizarre spending decisions. So indirectly gambling is to blame for most of my debt.

But despite this, I am blissfully happy because I have regained control of my life and finally feel mentally strong. It so nearly went the other way......

My sincere thanks to everyone on here who has helped me come to my senses and I hope you all have a wonderful, gamble-free Christmas. xxx

gambledandlost

I had my first gambling session yesterday - put £700 on and ended £1000 up. I went to bed feeling really happy, knowing that would pay off nearly half my debt and thought it is a great strat to the new year and new me.

Within an hour of being awake this morning, I had lost it all so now have an extra £700 to pay off my credit card. I wanted to cry my eyes out but thought 'got myself into this mess, going to get myself out'.

I have set up a calander for next year by my bedside and every morning will tell myself 'a gambling free day' and when I go to bed, will cross off the day if I stay clean so I can see my progress and fell better about the journey.
I have also worked out how much I need to pay at the start of each month to clear my debts within 3 years and each month on the calander will write how much I will owe at the end of the month, so I can see my debt dropping every month.

New Year, New Start! :T

Oh_Dear

Merry Christmas everbody. Make it a good non gambling one. It can be done!

Geordie.

cantcope

Happy Boxing day everyone.
Gambledandlost. Do you REALLY want to stop? The first half of your post reads like you truly believe this was a great start to the "new you".....one that gambles?
Please please put another block on your PC. Without it you will not beat this addiction. It's not about staying clean of gambling. You need to change your outlook on life, your personality etc....these things can take years. I think i said in a post before that we gamble as we dream of winning big (like children) and we need to take a lonjg look at ourselves and grow up a bit.

You took offence to this, I hope you dont again as i am saying it again to try and help you. I hope today is a gamble free day for you and you can have a new start. It IS possible, but just hoping for it isnt enough, you have to put things in place to help you.
xxxx

gambledandlost

Do I really want to stop? Nope! I want to keep playing until I hit the jackpot again and can pay off all my debts and have some left over. But I also want to play the piano and sing like Adele, dance like Flavia and speak 10 different languages! Some things belong in dreams and it is time I woke up and got back to reality.
That is why I have the new calander by my bed to keep me focused on what is real (debts) and to remind me that I got myself in this mess and need to dig my way out of it. I cant use gamblocks because I am a computer expert and can bypass them in a heartbeat, so am going to be strict with myself - I have drawn up a budget to pay off my cards monthly within 3 years, have cancelled all but one bank account (no overdraft) with a monthly direct debit to pay off one credit card with interest free for 2 years which has its limit set to what my debt is - I have asked the CC compay not to increase my limit and cut up the card so I cant spend on it. When the debt is paid,I can put that monthly amount to one side for something tanglibe, like a new TV, holiday or simply an ISA.
I feel like I have woken up but realise that words are easy, its actions that are hard work.

Oh_Dear

Gambledandlost, " I cant use gamblocks because I am a computer expert and can bypass them in a heartbeat" LOL. Why would you bypass them if you really wanted to stop.

Get someone else to install K9, get the licence and password sent to thier email adress one you cant access. ANY uninstall attempt without the password will stop that computer acsessing the internet. No debate, it really does. Well until the correct password has been entered password cracks dont work on it.

To be honest I think blocking software gives you more help than a calander.

If you dont really want to stop though theres very little chance you will. You went to bed really happy on Christmas Eve cause you had won a thousand pound, whoopy do! I know on my last gambling experience I won £2000 and it didnt make me happy, I was gutted and sick to the stomach that I had gambled again. I was just as sick when I done it all in plus a bit more a few days later.

If you dream of big wins amongst other things I suggest that maybe you aren't really ready to stop. Waking up on Christmas day and doing it all in, what a present to yourself.

D.....Dont
E.....Even
N.....Know
I......I
A.....Am
L.....Lying to myself.

Denial mate, is a very dangerous place to live and I get from your posts thats exactly where you are living.

If you are offended or angry by this post ask yourself why. Why wait til New Year for your new start, do it now. Go in to the New Year gamble free.

One thing is for sure, it is absoloutly futile you trying to sort your debts out when you are capable of depositing £700 from a credit card to gamble with.

" have set up a calander for next year by my bedside and every morning will tell myself 'a gambling free day' and when I go to bed, will cross off the day if I stay clean so I can see my progress and fell better about the journey." If you stay clean? Just dosnt seem like a good plan to me, I know where gambling took me mate...its not nice.

I have a feeling this post will fall on deaf ears, I hope that you do pull your finger out. It aint easy but it can be done.

All the best.

Geordie.