ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

GeorgeUK

Hi LIW

You need to start with working out what your expenditure is going to be and how much your debts are. If you don't have any income right now that is your priority. You will need to take any job being offerred - try the students union to see if there are any jobs going.

You can use the statement of affairs (SOA) calculator then start a new thread and paste the results there. Others will hopefully be able to assist with some ideas on how to cut down your expenditure and as mimar said, CCCS or payplan will be able to advise on the debts (These are free debt charities and organisations we recommend on the board).
https://www.makesenseofcards.com/soacalc.html

Something i haven't done yet is go to GA, but as many on this thread have said, it is helpful to even just share what you've been through and will get the best support and advice there.

riquelme

mimar - thats great news about your OH , well done to him and you. i still notice the adverts that are everywhere and its worse at weekends or when there are big footy matches on. the urges are getting less and less though. keep up the good work.

lifeiswar - well done youve come to the right place and already have received some good advice, 1. you need to stop gambling. 2. you need to address your debts

keep coming back , youre in the right place

cantcope

Welcome to the board LIW. you will get a great amount of support here. Riquel is right. Stop the gambling first, then worry about your debt.

If you post on the DFW board they will help you out with ideas to shrink it.

GA is not for everyone, but i find other than boards like these its the only place you will be able to talk to people who REALLY understand because they've done it/seen it. It's like a sense of belonging in a place that feels safe and comforting. A bit like the bookies/casinos/bingo halls/online feels for gamblers.
If you struggle then i would definitely recommend it. But if you are coping without it, like George, then you have to do what's right for you. I would say its worth reading on their website though. Lots of stories and the 12 steps to recovery.

Hope to see you on the board again soon

riquelme

odds in your favour or not, a losing bet is a losing bet. nothing is guaranteed. backing federer is never guaranteed just look at the year he has had. i wish i had been as disciplined as others or else i wouldnt be in this mess. i also hope that most people reading this thread are takng more notice of us that have had our fingers burnt and learning from our mistakes rather than being tempted by strategies to win. i agree a most unhelpful post backed up by a knowitall attitude. please dont come back

saucymare

I have been reading this thread and I don't know if I am posting in the correct place my OH was involved in gambling through his medication hard to believe I know it took me a while to believe it but if you google gambling and Parkinson's disease it will confirm what i'm saying and it wasn't the winning that was the attraction it was the thrill excitement of betting on anything he cared to bet on. It didn't matter if he won £10000 it would just go right back in the cycle again it near brought us down to our knee's but I tried to keep a cool head and sort this out. He is now off this terrible curse of a mediaction that is dished out by Doctor's without the the thought of the consequences. I know it doesn't happened to everyone that are on these drugs but it does happen to many and as a lot of people are ashamed at the fact they are gambling the suffer in silence. Sorry if I have high jacked this thread. Forgive me I'm fairly new here.

cantcope

Welcome Saucymare. I read about the connection between gambling and medication for parkinsons in the tabloids earlier in the year and i am sorry you are both suffering these horrible side effects.
i think with most compulsive gamblers when you break it down it is very rarely about they money. It's more about escapeism and the thrill of the game.

It wasn't about the money with me until i'd lost 60k !! then it was about chasing losses to win it back which got me into debt. In the end i didnt care whether i won or lost, the feelings were the same because i knew even if i won i would lose it the next day or hour in my case. Wins were only ever short term loans for me.

You and your OH can get through this and i am glad he is off the medication now. Time to rebuild your life. We will give you all the help and support we can.

Best Wishes xx

riquelme

saucy - welcome. i wasnt aware of the link between the medication and gambling but im intrigued enough to do a bit of research, sorry to hear ablout your situation. dont worry about posting stuff we're all in a similar boat. you're welcome back anytime

GeorgeUK

Hi saucymare - not the wrong place at all.

Glad things are back on track with regards the gambling and hope hubby's new medication is helping now.

saucymare

Thank you all so much for the good wishes people are so kind on here. My OH has stopped the medication and is getting surgery to see if this improves his symptoms It's been a long road. I do wish you all well in your quest I'm in the process of paying my debts not related to my OH I had them before him. Thank you all again take care x

riquelme

had to get this off my chest

the past few months have been a bit tough for me (although i know others have it worse)

basically ive retired from playing football, something that ive been doing for the past 24 years every saturday. and i loved it. my OH hated me doing it as it took me away from her but never once did she put anything in my way. finally it was my decsion at 39 to call it a day.

since then over the past few months my gambling grew from simply a weekend fixed odds coupon to gambbling ridiculous amounts of money on line and losing it.

1st of all i think there could be a link between both but the fall out of all this is that i no longer gamble at all (good) and still have family (even better), now this may sound selfish, i find myself very frustrated especially at weekends , a couple of times we have been shopping (i flippin hate shopping) and see myself turning into something that i never thought i would with little opportunity to de stress. the past week i have been grumpy beyond belief and it has affected the family as we have turned into a grumpy family being grumpy and falling out with each other

now i have 2 issues with this
1. am i selfish person? the same selfish person that ultimately put his family at risk through gambling!
2. although i spend loads of times with the kids are they picking up my bad habits


theres more

ive been very critical of my parents recently and the way they brought me up...i will stop there im just typing stuff thats in my head a lot..

please ignore this post , i just had to type stuff