ex and would be ex-gamblers support thread

Oregon

Hi there and thanks for the warm welcome. My story isn't spectacularly different from many of you. Online gambling is my problem too and the majority of my debt has come from that, built up over the past 8+ years. And I'm afraid I still haven't knocked it on the head. I vowed that September would be a gamble free month but I've given in to the temptation three times this month and it's only the 11th.

I must be able to stop though. I stopped for nine months last year and I don't remember even missing it...

samorgo

Hi all hope you've had a gamble free weekend...

Oregon if I only give one piece of advice this is the most valuable - if you genuinely want to stop bite the bullet and install K9 - without it you simply won't stop... Even though you may be tempted by more physical types of gambling (such as scratchcards) I think you are less likely to physically hand over money in a shop than blowing hundreds or even thousands of pounds online... I didn't want to do it when cantcope first advised me many months ago (I'd have panic attacks thinking about never being able to gamble again) but having lost even more money over the course of a few months and whilst I was feeling strong (having reached rock bottom) I installed the block and my life has been on the way up ever since. The money worries are still there but I can't make them worse as I can't access the online gambling sites that caused the majority of the debt in the first place...

I always thought that I should prove myself by quitting using willpower alone but I now realise that I could never have stopped without putting the barrier of K9 block in my way...

My debts will take a long time to pay off (especially in comparison to how quickly I accrued them through gambling) but I know that gambling is not the solution and that it's now about hard work, willpower and committment...

Good luck to you on your path to a gamble free life - things will get better once you commit to trying to stop x

Oregon

Thank you for the advice - I had read something about this last night. Isn't it something that I will just be able to uninstall at some point though? Also I gamble a lot on my mobile so no way round that I don't think

samorgo

You either need to find someone to choose the password for you or do what I did - create a completely random password by bashing on the keyboard (which you will need to write down as you need to enter it twice) but then destroy the password (I burnt mine). I think K9 do do blocks for mobiles but have a look at their website...

Honestly you need to do whatever you can to stop yourself from being able to access the sites... You can self exclude from individual sites but the temptation would then be to try different websites so a block is the only way round this...

I hope you find a solution but even if you can't block your mobile limit your access through self exclusion, deposit limits, or simply leaving your phone behind or get a cheap non smart phone... You need to put as many physical barriers in your way as possible to give your mind chance to get strong.

Good luck to you x

samorgo

PS whilst gambling is a true addiction in that there is a physiological reaction in the body when you gamble most of it is habit - you need to learn to fill the time you would usually spend gambling with something else... Put the laptop and mobile to one side and pursue your other interests...

If you're like me I'd forgotten what my other interests were when I first stopped gambling as it had become such a big part of my life (my whole non-working day was consumed by mindlessly tapping on the laptop hoping to win big fro waking to going to bed)... I've now remembered what I used to spend my time doing before I discovered online gambling (especially having won big as that's when it really became a problem) and I'm enjoying rediscovering these pasttimes and trying new ones. There's a whole different and exciting life out there if you turn your back on gambling and look forward...

Take care x

Oregon

I will install it. I've got maybe half a dozen large withdrawals pending and once they arrive in my bank, k9 and being gamble free here I come

I know what you mean about other interests too. Tonight I am keeping myself listing on eBay so doubly beneficial

cantcope

Hi Oregon, i think if you have already made the transaction to withdraw the money then k9 wont have any effect on a cash transaction done away from your personal laptop. The same as you dont need your pc on for the withdrawal to take place.
If you leave it until they arrive in your bank i guarantee you wont put the block on... if you are like most of us here you will use it as amunition to "win" back what you've lost.
If you have realised that you cant stop when your winning and you cant stop when your losing, whats the point?

Nice posts Samorgo, really good to hear you speak like that. So positive and full of optimism. So far far away from how you were a while ago....

You are right, your debt won't disappear overnight, but it sure as hell wont get any worse by not gambling.

cantcope

How's everyone doing? Oregon? Samorgo?

samorgo

Hey everyone!

I'm ok thanks - still gamble free! Been busy at work so haven't had chance to come on here but it also means I've had a few days where I haven't spent anything either so hopefully that'll help the debt!

I hope everyone else is still doing well - the first days and weeks are difficult but it you remain strong it does get easier...

Take care all x

cantcope

Great news