Anyone else not changing their name?

fawd1

TiTheRev wrote: »

I apologise in advance if my post offends, but not for my beliefs, I am a traditionalist and Christian and cannot believe the lack of males on this forum standing up for themselves!

It's all about submission to the figure head of the family. And I dont mean that in a derogatory way, it's not an ownership thing and it's not a 'transaction' as has been quoted before. The bible says that "Where there is unity, it commands a blessing from the Lord", but how can you expect that blessing when you will not 'unite' with husband as one name? Some of you have scarily said 'It saves changing back when you get divorced' :shocked: Do you honestly go into a married expecting it to end in divorce?!? If you go into a marriage liking your OWN name, your OWN identity, your OWN house/car etc are you really giving yourself to that marriage?! Part of getting married is the 'becoming one' process, and that means physically, emotionally, financially...

One of the previous posters stated that he would not marry his GF if she refused to take his name, I can empathise with that, it's like starting a marriage with the wife almost denying the man as part of the relationship.

This is part of an ongoing discussion and I hope to carry that on, but please refrain from name calling

I can see where you're coming from, but by the same token, if you look at the majority of the countries in Europe that are Christian, and inevitably far more religious than we are over here, the woman still does not take the man's name upon getting married. Having been brought up by Spanish practicing Roman Catholics, I have a pretty good idea of what the bible says, and although the idea of unity is absolutely there within the idea of marriage, I think to say that it includes taking your husbands name because it is the Christian thing to do is somewhat a stretch...

But like you said, no name calling necessary (and that includes telling me my opinions are ridiculous sunshinejoclaire. It appears your attitude may not be as sunshiney as your name suggests:rotfl:)

Debt_Free_Dreamer

moneysavingmonkey85 wrote: »

its difficult isnt it, we have decided to double barrel. It isnt fair for either of us to lose our names (no kids to complicate things!)

I just spotted the date of your wedding. Good Luck, I hope you have a fantastic day.

Luvly.cuppa.T

Wow And I thought I was alone on wanting to keep my name, or even get OH to change his to mine!

I dicussed this with OH when we got engaged as the thought freaked me out (changing my name and he was fine then about changing his to mine- although he may have changed his mind since- I had better bring it up again!) . I guess it comes down to who I am- I am Luvly.cuppa.T [insert real name] through and through and I like the shape, sound and the symmetry of it too! A name is important- people make judgment on names whether we like it or not and I am darn comfy with my original one!

Also to throw in the mix we have children who have my name, and another who has his father's name (who has passed away, so there is no way on earth that we would change it to suit the family!)

So we are already a bunch of misfits with our names.

I too am an only child and my dad was the only son out of 5, so I also want to carry on my Irish roots with my family name. My aunt did double-barrel hers though (and it was short enough to cope with!). My OHs name is okay but not me at all and defo not Irish. It just doesn't feel right to take it on- for me.

I don't see the absolute need for a woman to change her name to her husband's for them to have a happy marriage. For starters you must be on par to be able to agree on what to do with your names!!

Tradition is lovely, but only when it suits the people concerned.

(PS then there is numerology to consider- the number of letters in your name add up to one number and that means something about you- maybe this is why some marriages don't work out? )

little_miss_messiah

I did post this before but we are considering squishing our names - I'm the last in line with my name and very unlikely to have kids and OH comes from a large family with oodles of opportunities for name to be passed on - we did look at double barrelling but would have been a nightmare but after squishing would become: Mr & Mrs Webbingham

OH not overly keen on this saying it's not even a name (I think it sounds like one, and at least people could find you on google etc) but I'm working on him... I've got till next August...