Anyone else not changing their name?

fawd1

Hi,

I'm just wondering if there are any other ladies out there getting married soon who won't be changing their name?
Is it just me as I find it a really bizarre custom, as though the first 27 years of my life are suddenly erased by getting married?? Find it really strange in this day and age of equality etc etc that women still find this a really lovely thing to do, surely it must feel like you've been bought and sold??

davetrousers

I know a couple that will be getting married next year and he is taking on her name.

fawd1

Superb. and why not indeed?

Alibat

I have a friend who thought much the same as you when she married for the first time. It really confused people who just assumed she would take her husband's name and I remember her having to constantly explain why she hadn't which she said became very tiresome.

Then a couple of years later her husband was killed and her not having the same name as him caused her lots of problems when it came to sorting all the legal stuff out. As you can imagine it was the last thing she needed to be dealing with at that time. She ended up starting to use his name then as it made things so much easier, and then spent ages feeling guilty that she hadn't done so when he was alive. So she ended up with documents in both her name and his name, and constantly having to remember who knew her as what name.

A few years later she met and married her second husband which muddied the waters yet further so she threw in the towel and became known as 'Mrs 2nd husband' to one and all. She wasn't totally happy about doing so but she said it made her life a lot easier.

Then she had a daughter and from day one called her a different christian name to the one she put on the birth certificate. :rolleyes:

All that said I can understand where you're coming from. I've been married twenty five years next week and I still don't feel like my married name is really mine, but then neither does my maiden name any more. I'm just me.

claireac

My friend has been married for nearly 20 years and she's kept her maiden name. Some people (mainly the children's schools) refer to her by her married name, but that's in the minority!

My df has mentioned taking my name, as he has no contact with his father, and changed his surname 10 years ago to the same as his brothers, but they don't see their dad either!! So he has no emotional attachment to the names. However, our dd2 has his name and I think it would be too confusing to change now.

I will change my name, but will be using my maiden name for work as it's easier, and quite an unusual name so sticks in peoples minds!

Krystaltips

I'm double barrelling mine... I like my name... People get it wrong often but it's a little different... and it's mine! I dislike OH surname, it's one that can be easily ridiculed and in our family that's never a good point lol. Plus DD has my name and it would be confusing ro her to change it...

k8te

I kept my name and DH took it as his last name. I didnt want to lose my name, its mine and i like it, it's me! Some guests actually most guests assumed we were going to be traditional and i take his name, some of my friends thought it was great, only a bit embarassing when having to explain to older generations that we couldnt use the cheque as it had the wrong name on

brazilianwax

Lol K8te - I had that too. I made our venue change the sign they put up because it said Mr & Mrs and I was staying Miss/Ms!

I haven't taken my OH's surname, and 4 years on still get grief about it. He's resigned to it now (being called Mr Wax throughout our honeymoon taught him how annoying it is when people assume what your name must be because you're married :rotfl:)

His family are very traditional, but seem to understand now. My mother, on the other hand (the career woman who brought my sister and I up to be super-independent) gives me grief on a regular basis about it. :rolleyes: And as a result, most of her family get it wrong too. I'm sure she tells them to send cards and things addressed to Mr & Mrs to wind me up :wall:

It still surprises me how many other girls my age (I'm 30) give up their names so easily. Mine is such a strong part of me, I couldn't do it. Yet my facebook list changes regularly as people marry. It's all really weird to me



Just to complicate things further, we don't have any joint bank accounts, so those joint cheques can't get paid in anyway!

brazilianwax

Actually, my BEST FRIEND recently sent out invites to her wedding in September. She addressed ours as Mr & Mrs HIS Name.

When i spoke to her (quite annoyed - if anyone understood it should have been her) she said she did it to make my OH feel involved!! As if having Mr Hisname & Ms Wax on the envelope would have made him feel left out!!! :rotfl:

jinky67

I have always said I would never change my name
It is an unusual one and I like it

brazilianwax

Good for you jinky