Please Help Council Refusing to allow a move!

SingleSue

Yes he is statemented.

We had been receiving DLA for him for quite a while but because our therapies that we constantly do with him were starting to pay dividends and improve him slightly, they decided he no longer needed DLA.

All his medical reports were sent, letters from his specialist etc (should have seen the pack I sent back!) but because he is now able to be in the playground on his own it was all no go. This is the child who just before the summer holidays, went into an aspergic rage at school, walked off the premises and got lost thus requiring an amber alert (or our equivalent) to be sent out, 4 police cars touring around the town to find him and generally ageing me 20 years in the process .... and all because the school relaxed his therapies needed to keep him on an even keel because he was "better now"!

I have 2 children with disabilities, this one is the slightly better one with regards to what he actually has but is the harder work in relation to keeping him on an even keel.

It has put an extra strain on the finances as I now have to buy all his special food (some I can get on prescription but only very few items), pay for his therapies and all the extra washing (due to accidents because of his bowel disorder) out of my meagre budget.

Oh and I am still unable to work because of his (and his brothers) problems and a childcarer still won't take this child on particularly because of his needs!

As I said, the fight left me after asking for a review, I should have taken it further to appeal but after a while the battles get to you and you give up.

SLK1984

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

Good luck with sorting this out SLK1984. I just wanted to say that I think you have been appallingly treated by one contributor on this thread, but you shouldn't take it to heart. People say all sorts of things on anonymous forums that they would never say face to face. The person in question could be a 14 year old spotty youth for all we know or have some sort of mental/behavioural issues that are apparent in real life, but not on the internet. Perhaps s/he would even receive our pity if we saw them ranting like this on a street corner?

Take comfort that the more level headed posters, and the silent ones who have read the thread will all be behind you and hoping that you get the better facilities you deserve and the benefits you are entitled to.

I for one do not begrudge any of my taxes going to deserving cases like yourself. Better that than to line the pockets of MP's in their expense accounts or gilt-edged pensions.

Take care,
DD

Thank you i am aware that there are just some nasty people in this world and some are just only brave enough to show it on a forum hiding behind a pc screen, as i said to them if he or she thinks taxes are wasted on the needy then they are obviously well spent on those who just don't work because they are lazy

SingleSue wrote: »

That is so true, I have recently given up the battle for my son's DLA (very unlike me but the fight went out of me in the end) for his aspergers, bowel disorder, gross food intolerances and slight brain damage causing a problem with his understanding. This was mainly because of all the hard work we all put in, he has improved slightly...although the hard work still goes on to keep him that way, without all the hard work, he would revert back! Yet I see others claiming for and getting DLA when they have less problems than I have (and I don't claim for myself because I believe my problems/illnesses are not DLA worthy) .... it is all very annoying and tiring.

I understand how hard it is to keep fighting but you should try to keep doing it for your son one of the original reasons dla gave for my husband being refused was that as a child his parents stopped claiming for him and then he didnt apply again until last year but as we have argued with them a child cannot be held responsible for the actions of their parents his parents divorced and his mum never told him that she had claimed for him because she was bitter that he went to live with his Dad, his Dad never knew about dla either. As someone who hasn't got a disability i didnt know much about it either and it was only when we were advised by the job centre to apply that we found out what it was really about. It's a very hard system and the most needy seem to have to fight really hard to get it but keep trying, i hope your son gets the help you all need.

Dithering_Dad

SingleSue wrote: »

It has put an extra strain on the finances as I now have to buy all his special food (some I can get on prescription but only very few items), pay for his therapies and all the extra washing (due to accidents because of his bowel disorder) out of my meagre budget.

Oh and I am still unable to work because of his (and his brothers) problems and a childcarer still won't take this child on particularly because of his needs!

As I said, the fight left me after asking for a review, I should have taken it further to appeal but after a while the battles get to you and you give up.

It is very tiring, especially when it's coupled with the normal day to day tasks of being a parent (which are complicated by your child's disability) and all of the visits to doctors and health practitioners.

We had the LEA attempt to reduce our dauthers support at school because she was 'doing so well'. The fact that she was doing so well was because she was receiving support didn't seem to enter their heads, nor that 'doing well' meant that she was barely keeping up with the rest of the class.

We had to fight this all the way too. It's a constant battle that really takes its toll. You have my sympathy, especially as you're a single mum (I'm guessing this from your username, apologies if I'm wrong) and so all the responsibility falls onto you.

Kids eh, who'd have em?

neverdespairgirl

SLK1984 wrote: »

I also am still trying hard to get the dla sorted out for my husband the reason we were given at his tribunal was absolutely ridiculous, we immediately wrote to them asking for a statement of reasons


I am still waiting to talk to them again our local office was shut all day yesterday, like i said earlier i just took the word of shelter on the judicial review if they don't think this is neccessary and that there is a quicker solution then great, all i want is to be treated fairly.

You are right, until you have the reasons, you don't know on what basis to appeal.

JR is a remedy of last resort - you should do exactly what you are doing first, and try internal appeals, your local councillor / MP, etc.

It must be hard to have all of this on top of actually coping with a baby and your husband's illness!

Hanniebis

Woodworker - I highly doubt that you could tell a young woman face to face, who is unable to provide for her family because she is a full time carer to a disabled husband and a young child, to just - quote - "get a job". And if you could, I'd like you even less, which is quite difficult right now. Stop wasting people's time with sweeping statements that are abusive and of no help at all.

Hanniebis

Clearly Woodworker has not been reading any of the OP's posts as if they had, they would realise how young she and her husband are and how incredibly hard it would be to have enough financial protection in place by your early 20's to secure the safety of 2 adults and a child indefinitely.

Nevertheless, I vote that we all ignore Woodworker from now on. It's not helping anybody.

SLK1984, I hope you have better luck soon with the DLA. Maybe a fresh claim, if you can get it ASAP, would be very beneficial.

Hanniebis

We're not talking about YOUR situation, we're talking about the OP's. The point of this board is to put yourself in someone else's shoes and give them advice. So again, if you don't have anything helpful to say, b.ugger off.

silverchair

Hi OP

Im sorry I dont have any advice for you other than what some other posters have said about whether you could borrow money from a relative & for them to make a contract stating that you would pay back a certain amount each month.

When I first read the title of the thread I assumed it was another the council wont paint my walls/redo my kitchen so we need to move.

However I feel very sorry for your situation. It must be very hard for you to see your husband suffer in this way & know that a bit of this pain could be avoidable if the council stuck its finger out. You also have a small child & are still quite young, so applaud how well you are coping.

I hope it gets sorted soon.

Good luck!

neverdespairgirl

Woodworker wrote: »

Critical Illness Insurance Cover and suitable insurance policies were all in place mate. I see them all as part of the cost of buying your home and securing your own future. This and many posts only go to show you can't expect others to look after your interests.

But you would struggle to get any such insurances if, like the OP's husband, you had had health problems from childhood.

I'm all for people standing on their own two feet, and supporting themselves. But we have a welfare state to protect people who can't do that. The OP is a great example of that - she has a baby, and a husband whose ill-health means he needs to be looked after and can't work. This is exactly what the welfare state should be for!

neverdespairgirl

Dithering_Dad wrote: »

Have you any idea how much a full-time carer would cost you? Especially one who has the qualifications and skills to deal with a disability? Most if not all of your wife's money would go just to pay for that.

Full-time care is expensive.

OH's mother had multiple sclerosis. For years, they coped with a mix of visiting nurses, freinds popping in, OH's Dad comign home at lunch time. But towards the end, she needed full-time, permanent care. And it's hard to arrange.