what would you do?

rizlaman

Sarahsaver wrote: »

What about reading anything into your username?:rotfl: RIZLAman?

the RIZLA in rizlaman means i smoke roll ups not dope !!!!!!

Carmina_Piranha_3

where does rizla live? is his place too small for all of you?

rizlaman

frannyann wrote: »

SS, just for background I have posted here for quite a while, so I think he had strong reason to pick MSE to ask this question and he also texted me to tell me he was starting a thread. I think the intention of posting here was to get the reactions he got before I explained my side. Both of us are nearly 40 and I have an 11yo dd. I do not want to uproot her from a flat she loves and I see no reason to rush into anything. To live together would involve selling up to move in together, not sensible in this market. My feeling is that to move in with me is an 'easy option' something I have explained before to him. Also he is quite insecure and by agreeing to get engaged I felt would show that I am commited to him. I just feel I don't have to live with someone or have a piece of paper to show that commitment.

ok i will have my rant and promise not to use mse again!!!

i text out of politeness so you wouldnt stumble on my trhead by accident, i browse this site for some good ideas even tho i hardly post. As for committment i thought (and you knew this) that engagement meant plans for marrage, you know how important that is to me, also DD wants us as a proper family and i miss her when im not around, we see each other less than before due to my job and as we never go out together ( your choice ) tonight is an example even tho DD is away, im now on nights and again we wont have seen each other for a fortnight.

username now dissabled

shellsuit

rizlaman wrote: »

ok i will have my rant and promise not to use mse again!!!

i text out of politeness so you wouldnt stumble on my trhead by accident, i browse this site for some good ideas even tho i hardly post. As for committment i thought (and you knew this) that engagement meant plans for marrage, you know how important that is to me, also DD wants us as a proper family and i miss her when im not around, we see each other less than before due to my job and as we never go out together ( your choice ) tonight is an example even tho DD is away, im now on nights and again we wont have seen each other for a fortnight.

username now dissabled

If I were near you both, I'd bang your heads together! (In a nice way of course )

I think you do both love each other, but it seems that FA it being cautious in the relationship this time.

Have some time out together, you both need it, to talk to each other and let each other know exactly what you want from the relationship.

I hope you don't fall out over this thread, it seems to me rizla wants to know where he stands, where FA is happy to let things move slowly, before she is absolutely sure it is what she wants and it is right for DD too.

Communication is the key! Get all your cards out on the table and don't leave any stone unturned.

I wish the both of you the best of luck xxxx

frannyann

SS, I do try and explain my thoughts but as its not what he wants to hear, the issues is never resolved. I didn't want to go out last night as I have been very ill, resulting in tireness which is draining. I agree communication is the key, but it very hard when the person you communicate with, hears things differently to what you actually say.
I am a bit odd, I suppose, because I don't see the need for a relationship to go anywhere, I just like to enjoy the 'us' as we are. We have a lovely time when we are together, he makes me laugh like a drain (when he is happy) and dd adores him. But when he is low, its sooo difficult to be around. I don't think I could cope with it 24/7 plus easing dd through teenage years that are fast approaching. I feel

frannyann

Carmina_Piranha wrote: »

where does rizla live? is his place too small for all of you?

Flat-shares with a friend.

frannyann

Oh and thank you to all of you who have taken the time to support Rizla. I appreciate it. x

Carmina_Piranha_3

frannyann wrote: »

SS, I do try and explain my thoughts but as its not what he wants to hear, the issues is never resolved. I didn't want to go out last night as I have been very ill, resulting in tireness which is draining. I agree communication is the key, but it very hard when the person you communicate with, hears things differently to what you actually say.
I am a bit odd, I suppose, because I don't see the need for a relationship to go anywhere, I just like to enjoy the 'us' as we are. We have a lovely time when we are together, he makes me laugh like a drain (when he is happy) and dd adores him. But when he is low, its sooo difficult to be around. I don't think I could cope with it 24/7 plus easing dd through teenage years that are fast approaching. I feel

I hope you're feeling a bit better today? must admit if I was feeling ill it would make me really grumpy to see my husband starting a thread complaining about me :eek:

Thing is, if you don't feel any urge to live together there's not a lot you can do to change that *HUGS*

shellsuit

frannyann wrote: »

SS, I do try and explain my thoughts but as its not what he wants to hear, the issues is never resolved. I didn't want to go out last night as I have been very ill, resulting in tireness which is draining. I agree communication is the key, but it very hard when the person you communicate with, hears things differently to what you actually say.
I am a bit odd, I suppose, because I don't see the need for a relationship to go anywhere, I just like to enjoy the 'us' as we are. We have a lovely time when we are together, he makes me laugh like a drain (when he is happy) and dd adores him. But when he is low, its sooo difficult to be around. I don't think I could cope with it 24/7 plus easing dd through teenage years that are fast approaching. I feel

Aww franny (((((big hugs)))))

I hope you can both work through it xxx

frannyann

Thank you both xx