what would you do?

funky-footprints

why did she get engaged, if she has no desire to live with you, and none to marry you.

My husband was engaged whe we met, he said things got carried away, and everyone expected it to happen as they had been together a long time. He said there was no way he could have lived with her and had no intention of marrying her, infact he said he wasnt the marrying kind, and never wanted kids, but he married me and we have 3 !!

she sounds to me, like she is waiting for someone else ? not that someone else is any better than you, but maybe you arent her mr right ? you deserve to be someones mr right.
xxx

trader_girl

MOVE ON.. I completely wasted years of my life on a man like your girl,
I know its hard but if no commitment is forhcoming by now it never truly will be

get out of this relationship and get a social life, the right girl will come to you when you arn't looking for her. good luck in life..

AnnieM_3

It sounds like she is a bit afraid that making the commitment might mean she loses some control over her life (perceived or otherwise).

What do you think would happen if you ask her for the engagement ring back seeing as she won't get married? It could just be that she wants to be with you, but is too attached to her independence to move in together - it's increasingly common for couples to live apart these days - maybe you could suggest both having houses in the same street, or flats in the same block? Perhaps she sees being engaged as enough of a sign of commitment?

Maybe an ultimatum like that would make her take a look at what she really wants out of life, and whether you really feature in her plans. Whatever happens, you need to decide what you want from the relationship too - if you're not happy with things staying as they are maybe it is time for you to move on?

You've obviously had to make a lot of compromises to be with this woman. To echo the reference in your sig, I think you may want 'something you can never have' with her.

rizlaman

dont read anything into my signature pmsl i just like nine inch nails pmsl

rizlaman

i have put an awful lot of work into that for 2 years with excellent effect and you have agreed, came on here looking for unbiased oppinions from people as you never gave any real explanation last week. i deliberately didnt say who you were on here as not to cause any judgement or make our relationship public on a forum. thread ends!!!

galvanizersbaby

frannyann wrote: »

Sorry guys but had to put my side.

Are you Rizlaman's partner?

sandra_nz

To be honest, it sounds like you both want and expect different things out of a relationship.

To the woman involved, I would have to question why you would accept an engagement (I'm assuming he proposed to you) when you had no intention of marrying? Or is it that you have since changed your mind, but not communicated that change to your fiance?

AnnieM_3

Well I hope you guys work it out anyway.

(Oh, and re the sig - didn't read anything into it, was just a ref lol!)

galvanizersbaby

Yes hope you can take it off line and work things out

rizlaman

anyhow, apart from being crashed, many thanks to those who commented