How do I make a new start? Is it possible?

paddy's_mum

Well Barbiegirl - your post no.31 couldn't be more clear and I thank you for it. I now more clearly understand how things came to pass and would once again say that I'm sorry that things at home have become worse for you.

I agree with you that it's hard to understand what 'the informer' had to gain except to cause more trouble and upset. I hope things become calmer now and go better for you in the future.

abby1234519

To put my tuppence in.
Obviously the fact that someone has told your Husband about this post...see it as a chance to get it all out in the open and discuss it..He might be hurt, might be hurt for a while but hopefully it will bring any venom to the surface and then you can talk...if in the end you do go your separate ways, then you finally know your marriage is irreparable...if you manage to work things through then all isn't lost.

I am not married however my and my OH had been arguing for months. I find it hard to confront him, not because he is violent but because he does have a temper and might say something nasty. It turns out he just hadn't been telling me what was up. He constantly criticised with me but it turns out he was just unhappy.I finally articulated how I felt and he also managed to. I was going to move out but he has basically said he'd like me to stay. And when I said, well what does stay mean? He pointed it out that he would like to live with someone so he can spend the rest of his life with someone...which is the answer I've been after for a while!!!

ceridwen

Barbiegirl wrote: »

belfastgirl23 - your first paragraph explains exactly what happened. I was confused by paddy'smum thinking it was her fault when it clearly wasn't. You see I still don't know why this person would do this. I would never do this to anyone even if I could work out who it was. Yes, this is a public site but sometimes we all post about things without realising what information we are volunteering.

I think we have had a few misunderstandings going on so far on this thread and it is a pity...I can see how it happened...but 'tis true that sometimes people post things on M.S.E. and then realise subsequently (well ...sometimes) that they have put a few too many personal "identifiers" on. Its easily done. I have sent P.M.'s a couple of times to people who were in trouble when I realised that they had put a few too many identifier details on here and could have had a lot of trouble as a result - they saw my point and deleted their threads. It is so easy to do - I leapt very fast onto one thread that got started - as I seriously thought (still do!) that they were literally at risk of very severe trouble (up to and including getting murdered - literally - as they were an Indian woman living in our culture and resisting having an arranged marriage imposed on them). These things happen - and a lot of people dont "self-monitor" what they might have put in the past when starting up a thread asking for advice. I think many of us have thought "whoops" and gone back and deleted a comment quickly before now.