Secrecy On This Board??????

harveymail

I just got to wondering, on my wanders and as this "seems" to be the only
board that does it, why is there so much secrecy with certain members.
People have conversations in code and seem to be frequently PMing each other and are very obvious in the way they make their association with other posters known, for example I have just flicked through a thread where 2 people were making plans to EMail each other whilst ignoring a poster with a genunie problem and this seems to be going on thoughout the board along.

I have noticed that also people leave their conversations on the board to go and discuss certain things on MSN.

Why is there the need for such secrecy, do people talk about other members or discuss their debt problems away from the board. Is it !!!!!iness? Why cannot it be discussed on here. I feel I can not post on this board about my debt worries, do other people with the same worries perhaps feel the same,
could it, in fact, be pushing vunerable people away.

Please understand I am not a regular on this board, or any come to that, its just an observation and perhaps am not reading the situation correctly but I would certainly think that people would feel insecure, left out, not part of the gang as it were and possibly feel that they could not post about their problems for fear that they will be discussed away from the DFW board. I forget the word that is used for a certain number of people who are in a group but I digress, it would certainly seem that you are either in or out and I fear for the people who do really need the support this site offers.

Am I correct, I suspect you will say not but consider, for a moment, if you will, how other people's view will be tainted by the level of secrecy that seems to be abound?? I would certainly welcome any comments

Burlesque_Babe

I guess it's like being in a busy pub, you arrive and there are groups of familiar or not so familiar faces chatting already, you enter the conversation generally but then see someone you need to talk to about either something very personal or something which would either bore the pants off the others or is very off topic (or maybe too rude to air!!!!!!!! :rotfl: )

Quite a few DFW'ers meet up in real life so there are some great friendships on here, but it's never at the expense of others. I chat outside the forums (by PM or by MSN or email) to some MSE'ers but it's just general 'stuff' we chat about.

Time gaps appear on forums because of the nature of the beast , but it's never deliberate.

hypno06

Some things ARE private.....some things are not suitable for an open forum......that is why things are allowed to be said outside the forum, by email, MSN, PM etc.

Genuine help is not always appropriate for all and sundry to see - debt IS personal........and private in many cases......and SOME things need to be done by private means in order to help that person the best.

Some people on here have been using these boards for years - they have built up genuine friendships. Would you have your everyday discussions with your friends on loudspeakerphone so everyone could hear? Well, online friendships are the same.....not everything is intended for everyone to hear!

Those that you feel are "cliquey" are also those that help many many posters, new and old, in their quest to become debt free.

We are just ordinary people......just because we are on an internet forum does not make us different to "real life" people!

fermi

DFW is a very social board, and many people have become good friends both on and off the forum.

Because of that, people sometimes have issues and topics (not necessarily related to debt) that are not really appropriate for the open forum. In fact the forum rules discourage the posting of sensitive personal information.

There is nothing sinister or secretive about it really.

Runnybabbit

Oh heck, I've just done that myself and would be horrified if anyone thought for one moment that I was deliberately ignoring someone's needs.

I have PM'd someone tonight, who I've never spoken to before, as he/she had a similar problem to mine but may not have been of interest to the original poster - truly sorry if anyone thought differently.
Babbit x

Burlesque_Babe

don't worry Runny - everyone has conversations outside the threads - nothing to apologise for in any way.

sammy115

People do msn each other outside of MSE but then I am quite sure that the people I work with go home and talk to other people too....

Not sure any secrecy is meant by it. I have been an MSE member for a long time and I don't MSN anyone or email anyone - I do PM if there is an address or something that can't be posted on an open forum to be given...

DFW is certainly not an exclusive club.!

harveymail

No, no need at all to apologise. It was just a general observation and query, nothing sinister at all meant in my posting.

anniestar

Its true that occasionally people do PM, meet, chat on facebook, ring each other up, even write. It doesn't mean anybody is excluded. When you are on any of the boards here you do get to know folk, you share their ups and downs. It is NOT a closed sort of board. People are made very welcomed and thank God MSE exists. I have made an awful lot of fantastic friends on here and I am all the better for it.
Oh and a lot of the various boards have meets. That doesnt make any of us cliquey-it makes us open and friendly.

Deep_In_Debt

Sometimes people PM each other if they are in a similar situation and don't wish to discuss it in public. I've done it for some personal support on somthing I've been embarrassed about.

sammy115

harveymail - I would hate for anyone to be put off if they thought it was any kind of clique.....Just not so! there is a reason we are known as Huggies you know