Marriage over don't know where to start

kassytbag

Hi all - i havent been on here for a few days as so much as been going on - have just read the post about being a stepping stone - duffys new cd has a song on it called just that -i have it on full blast in the car and sing my heart out to it - have a listen if you can - well to update you all - my husbands girlfriend who is also a 10% partner in his business moved in with him two weekends ago - last weekend he came round on sunday - told me he didnt think he was as in love with her as he thought - and that he did still love me and was so unsure what to do - to top it all off - our sex life has always been fantastic and sex with her was not good - i told him i wouldnt be a stepping stone and it was either me or her and he had to make his mind up that day (sunday) or i would have to move on - he walked away - i went to my friends - cried my eyes out for half an hour and then thought i just have to get on with this. 1.15am there was a phone call - can i come home? by 1.35am he was on the doorstep - he wants to try again wants to rebuild our love, marriage, family etc - she has gone back to her husband(said she never would as was such a bully!) they still have to work together every day and he still says he is dealing with his feelings for her - what the hell should i do??? any advice gratefully received!

Rikki

kassytbag wrote: »

Hi all - i havent been on here for a few days as so much as been going on - have just read the post about being a stepping stone - duffys new cd has a song on it called just that -i have it on full blast in the car and sing my heart out to it - have a listen if you can - well to update you all - my husbands girlfriend who is also a 10% partner in his business moved in with him two weekends ago - last weekend he came round on sunday - told me he didnt think he was as in love with her as he thought - and that he did still love me and was so unsure what to do - to top it all off - our sex life has always been fantastic and sex with her was not good - i told him i wouldnt be a stepping stone and it was either me or her and he had to make his mind up that day (sunday) or i would have to move on - he walked away - i went to my friends - cried my eyes out for half an hour and then thought i just have to get on with this. 1.15am there was a phone call - can i come home? by 1.35am he was on the doorstep - he wants to try again wants to rebuild our love, marriage, family etc - she has gone back to her husband(said she never would as was such a bully!) they still have to work together every day and he still says he is dealing with his feelings for her - what the hell should i do??? any advice gratefully received!

Men and women for that matter are frightened of the unknown.

He has set at home with this other women and when it turned into reality he became scared. Then after speaking to you he realised he really had to make a decision about the future and he's asked to come back.
This could be he wants to rebuild the family unit and make a go of it or he is still confused but likes the security he had with you.
It will be difficult for him still working with this women while trying to contain his feelings. You can help him deal with and work it through if this is really what he wants.
It will take the two of you a lot of time and talking. It will not be easy and you will have some difficult times ahead.

Keeping_Motivated

kassytbag wrote: »

Hi all - i havent been on here for a few days as so much as been going on - have just read the post about being a stepping stone - duffys new cd has a song on it called just that -i have it on full blast in the car and sing my heart out to it - have a listen if you can - well to update you all - my husbands girlfriend who is also a 10% partner in his business moved in with him two weekends ago - last weekend he came round on sunday - told me he didnt think he was as in love with her as he thought - and that he did still love me and was so unsure what to do - to top it all off - our sex life has always been fantastic and sex with her was not good - i told him i wouldnt be a stepping stone and it was either me or her and he had to make his mind up that day (sunday) or i would have to move on - he walked away - i went to my friends - cried my eyes out for half an hour and then thought i just have to get on with this. 1.15am there was a phone call - can i come home? by 1.35am he was on the doorstep - he wants to try again wants to rebuild our love, marriage, family etc - she has gone back to her husband(said she never would as was such a bully!) they still have to work together every day and he still says he is dealing with his feelings for her - what the hell should i do??? any advice gratefully received!

Kassy I think if I was you I would have to find out if the turn around was prompted by her or him? Have you spoken to her husband to find out when they decided to try again? I think it would prefer to know if he came back to me having told her it was over or if he came back to me coz she couldn't hack it anymore and ended it first?

I really hope it was him who made that decision and either way I bet it is 'some' relief it is over between them in your eyes.

You poor thing you have really been through it and now this you must be all over the place. Where is he living now?

kizzykizzywizzy

Oh Kassy, what a dilema, they work together every day, the only plus from this is he chose to be with you & that must make her feel like sh*t!!
So she might not feel so happy about that!
Only good thing about the moose is she's on a ship & can't see him - hasn't seen her since he came home. can only talk /text/ email.
I find every time I start getting stronger & don't want him, he breaks down my barriers, by giving me hope, or being nice to me.

Rikki

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Oh Kassy, what a dilema, they work together every day, the only plus from this is he chose to be with you & that must make her feel like sh*t!!
So she might not feel so happy about that!
Only good thing about the moose is she's on a ship & can't see him - hasn't seen her since he came home. can only talk /text/ email.
I find every time I start getting stronger & don't want him, he breaks down my barriers, by giving me hope, or being nice to me.

Only because you phone him. :rolleyes:

* runs for cover*

Keeping_Motivated

Kizzy do you know yet when the Moose gets off ship? Thats when 'round 2' will start as surely that is when her husband will find out and he may not be as reasonable as you and may come a looking for DFS with violence in mind! And that is when the Moose may realise what she has done, she is nicely 'protected' from all real life and emotions on the ship.

kizzykizzywizzy

I lasted a week Rikki:p & did actually ring about something genuine & became major major argument:rolleyes: Then I went a bit ( VERY ) crazy & started harrassing him:D :rolleyes: :rotfl:
Run for cover FAST I've got a lot of pent up anger here:rotfl:

kizzykizzywizzy

Early next year, I'm sure she'll get leave though, so i expect she'd just not tell her husband & come & see DFS instead!

Rikki

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

I lasted a week Rikki:p & did actually ring about something genuine & became major major argument:rolleyes: Then I went a bit ( VERY ) crazy & started harrassing him:D :rolleyes: :rotfl:
Run for cover FAST I've got a lot of pent up anger here:rotfl:

As I've said before I've got broad shoulders.

In this virtual world I am a toned athlete and can reach Olympic speeds. :rotfl:

gerturdeanna

Kass - there is only you how can decide what you want to do and its not as easy as it sounds- I know!!