Marriage over don't know where to start

scottishfreebiehunter

Gert slap me if what I am saying is out of turn xxxxx

Porno material if just like magazines etc down to the individual and I do not really see that as an issue(his timing yes I do see it as an issue with kids being around)

Right here goes I know you love him and I still love my oh to,though if you are having these feelings,niggles,doubts,and to me he doesnt sound as if he isnt trying very hard(awaits gerts slap;))then is it really going to be worth it in the long run?
Yes it is hurting like h e l l just now but say in a few months you had this hurt all over again then best going youre seperate ways for now,and using now as who knows what will happen in future(k like that phrase my oh uses that often:rotfl:;))

trancebabe

Gert - I think it's all got to be about what you're prepared to accept for yourself and your children going forward.
Obviously you knew about his 'habits' before the affair, but everything has been compounded by his infidelity. Before when you trusted him you would see it as a 'he looks but doesn't touch' situation, but now you simply can't trust him and you'll find yourself looking for unacceptable behaviour in him because of that trust issue.... and you're still angry!

Are you prepared to overlook the things you used to going forward? Can you accept that his enjoyment of looking at such things is probably never going to change (although he should really consider that the children will grow up and want to use the computer so he'll need to be careful) ?

I think some soul searching is needed because as much as you think he hasn't changed, you have... and now he has to to make it work!

Things will never and can never be the way they were... ever again!

scottishfreebiehunter

jay11 wrote: »

He let something slip and she confronted him, he stopped because they were a slip up/he was led on:rolleyes: , he's sorry.

Nah not on , my oh was caught red handed by me and a part of me says well what if I had let it go,there would have always been a niggle at back of mind is he doing again etc.
Personally he needs to be confronted as pm now,could be affairs next
Yes I am well anti men today people;)

jay11_2

That's true SFH, might be the next step, they say these things start gradually!!

How are you today? You sound more upbeat, is DS OK?

scottishfreebiehunter

jay11 wrote: »

That's true SFH, might be the next step, they say these things start gradually!!

How are you today? You sound more upbeat, is DS OK?

well got him in his own bed listening to Harry Potter:rolleyes::rotfl: lights all out and he was asleep by about 9.40 so loads better than he had been.
I know will be hard for him but needs to sleep or narmy wee begger

I am feeling down still though have to get myself into some sort of order as he isnt sitting about feeling sorry for himself.
Hard going at night though will hopefully get better
thanks for askingxxxx

trancebabe

jay11 wrote: »

He let something slip and she confronted him, he stopped because they were a slip up/he was led on:rolleyes: , he's sorry.

Yeah.. ok... He was led on my @ r s e...! this is a grown man with responsibilities we're talking about right ?!

Is he sorry for hurting your friend, or just sorry he got caught... because there's the difference in how this is handled going forward!

I personally would read him the riot act!

jay11_2

Thanks trancebabe, that's what I said. Yep a grown man, if they ever are grown!!!

He's sorry for hurting her, it had all stopped before she found out, but they've had a string of problems recently, what with money and so on, so she's at the end of her tether, and this is just another slap in the face for her. Dunno what she's going to do, she's really fed up and upset with him and the woman though!!

Glad your Ds is a bit better SFH, give yourself time, and be kind and patient, as you would with a friend who is hurt. Day by day, you'll get there.

scottishfreebiehunter

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:Glass giant.com made wanted poster,reward for dinign real husband and sent it to his email:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:



Yes childish but made me laugh

scottishfreebiehunter

jay11 wrote: »

Thanks trancebabe, that's what I said. Yep a grown man, if they ever are grown!!!

He's sorry for hurting her, it had all stopped before she found out, but they've had a string of problems recently, what with money and so on, so she's at the end of her tether, and this is just another slap in the face for her. Dunno what she's going to do, she's really fed up and upset with him and the woman though!!

Glad your Ds is a bit better SFH, give yourself time, and be kind and patient, as you would with a friend who is hurt. Day by day, you'll get there.

My friends just want my husband :eek::rotfl:

jay11_2

All of them SFH??? I thought it was just teh one stupid b i t c h?