Marriage over don't know where to start

kizzykizzywizzy

Hi TLF - Sorry you've been having such a terrible time.
I can't believe he carried on his affair & lied to you - I also can't believe the slapper didn't mind him coming home to you. I mean, it's pretty obvious you would be sleeping together. Is she so desperate that she'd share you & now, pay to keep him, whilst his wages go into your bank account!! These Women have no self esteem or pride & just sound to desperate.
Moneywise, I'm not in debt, but did find the forms a nightmare, get them in quickly for IS if you are entitled as that takes a while to come through ( mine hasn't yet ) I didn't do it straight away, as I couldn't get my head around the forms & really didn't think it would get that far, thought he'd want to stay.
Also ring council tax & let them know you are a single occupant ( that's if you've asked him to leave ) I will be getting Child Tax Credit, as I gave up my job, when all this mess started.
Get a free half an hour with a Solicitor, to see what your options are, although I was too much in shock/denial that it would get that far to listen.
Good Luck & we're here going through ut to, so we can all help each other I'm sure;)
Gert, How did last night go??
SFH - Glad you went out & got chatted up, just try not to go out with a phsyco next time:rotfl:

TLF1970

Thanks to everyone who posted a reply to my night -time rant. Yuor kind words mean so much.

Not too good this morning. Not sure where my husband spent the night and like a fool I cant help worrying about him. He is a diabetic and I know he has gone on a drinking binge. The last text I got from him was 4 yesterday afternoon saying it would be easier for all if he ended it!

He is supposed to come around at 10 to see the kids and explain to them what has happend - it will be a long wait until then.

Once again thanks for the advice and kind words

gerturdeanna

Last night was okay - we talked alot and even though i asked those questions I shouldn't have asked- he didn't answer them - said the answers were irrelevant ie where,how many times etc. And I respect him for that because yes it would hurt more to know and I don't really want to know. I think that we are starting to understand why it happened and what we can do to ensure it doesn't happen again. yes we are still taking it slow - by this he means talking more which we are doing and slowly getting involved emotionally if that makes sense. he's taking me out next week for a date (when he's got paid!! haha) but yes I think we covered the ground we needed to and are slowly getting through it.

kizzykizzywizzy

TLF Don't worry about him, I know you will because I did when I found out about DFS ( dirty filty scumbag ) cheated & he did the suicide threats too.
He was crying uncontrollably & in a real mess & for some stupid reason, I felt sorry for him!!
Where as he didn't care about me, when he was cheating, or when I was crying, so you have to be hard I'm afraid, people told me this at the start of my saga & it's taken ages to get this far, because you can't switch off your feelings just like that.
Good for not phoning, I was terrible begging him back etc, try not to do any of that.
I just wish I had been strong enough to follow the original advice I was given at the start & I would've been a lot further along by now, I just couldn't at the time as my love for him was so much.
Take Care
Glad you had a good chat Gert, & also VERY glad you don't know details, as I've said before, I think this killed any chance of my Sister getting back with her husband as things just kept popping up in her mind that he'd said they'd done - yuk
Had a dream about us getting back together AGAIN last night!!! What's going on? I've only had one dream like that before, usually it's him & the Moose laughing at me & having fun, now I've had 2 in a row, of being back with him - it must be dreams are opposite

themaccas

Kizzy, just read your last post and I think you're being really hard on yourself. All this only happened a few weeks ago and you have made incredible progress already. As you said you can't just turn your feelings off for someone no matter what they have done. Sorry but I think you are amazing, there are some people on here who share so much of their lives - you, SFH, Gert and on another unrelated thread - IA and her DF diary as well as many others. I never feel I have much advice to give but just want to say I admire your strength, creativity and support.
hugs x

kizzykizzywizzy

Thanks a lot themaccas, I probably give too much info, but it's really helping me, so not an unselfish act, but if it does help anyone else along the way, I will be thrilled.
Wavering a bit today, the dreams are quite unsettling, as they seem so real.
Still will be strong, think of the future not the past & WILL NOT RING OR TEXT!

Keeping_Motivated

kizzykizzywizzy wrote: »

Thanks a lot themaccas, I probably give too much info, but it's really helping me, so not an unselfish act, but if it does help anyone else along the way, I will be thrilled.
Wavering a bit today, the dreams are quite unsettling, as they seem so real.
Still will be strong, think of the future not the past & WILL NOT RING OR TEXT!

Good girl Have you got anything planned today to keep you busy?

Keeping_Motivated

SFH seems a little strange of your friend to behave like that when you are going through so much?! She must be really very unhappy. Good you got out though.

Gert - Sounds like you are off to a good start, hope it continues.

scottishfreebiehunter

Yes very indeed and to say I am a little bit angry is an understatement,actually had enough now,going to get myself sorted for Australia and get out of this d a m n place.

scottishfreebiehunter

Kizzy keep it going as you are doing well!!xxxxxxxxx I am losing the will to live again today and really need some help so not sure where to turn next,was going to try and change flights to earlier though they have jumped in money value so will not be doing that,not long to go right enough 21 days.