Marriage over don't know where to start

Keeping_Motivated

Night Kizzy think I'll do the same, nothing on tv and I'm bored.

KM x

scottishfreebiehunter

A get together is a good idea as what a weird night I had



right work this one out

went out with friend had a good night went to so called trendy pub,this kiwi Rugby player was giving me all the chat mate went to loo,she came back and said oh I am so not attractive,inbetween this I had told the guy to do one as noticed he had wedding ring on and i was not on look out for men.
She started crying then went on to tell me that my oh was attractive etc etc :rolleyes::eek:and how she felt left out that someone spoke to me for all of 5 mins
Anyway no point give up everyone in this world has lost the plot big time and then i said I do not understand as not on the look out for men,she replied at least someone spoke to you:rolleyes:

what an gfffinnnng nutter sticking with my son and x factor until I go to oz unbelievable:rotfl:

verysillyguy06

she must have been a bit................horny....lol

TLF1970

Sorry hope you don't mind me butting in but need someone to talk to.

I have been with my husband 16 years, married 11. We have 2 children 8 and 6. We are up to our eys in debt (about 40K plus mortgage).

I found last year that he was having an affair. After much arguing I agreed to give our marriage another go. I love him the kids adore him and it was so out of caracter that I put it down to stess (he had had family problems with his dad and his brother dying).

I found out yesterday that the affair had been carrying on, more or less, for the last year.

I am absolutely devastated. I feel such a fool for giving him another chance. I can't beleive what has happened today. There honestly was no sign. Yes we had arguments but nothing major. He has been loving and attentive. We still slept together.

I asked him to leave the house today to give us some space and for me to get my head together. He says he is so sorry for what he has done and does not want us to split up.

I am at my wits about what to do. I do love him but I am not a door mat. However I can not help worrying about what will happen to me and the kids as financially we are a disaster zone. I work part-time (17 hours) but can not really increase this becuase of the kids. His "other lady" wants him to live with her and has "kindly" said his wages can still go into our joint account.

Where do I start? How do I find out what benefits/credits I can claim if I am on my own?

Any advice greatly appreciated.

jay11_2

Hi TLF, I'm not a regular poster here but since no-one else is around I'll jump in, please bear with me as I type slowly (and the vino I've had wont help).

First of all (((HUGE HUGS))), poor, poor you!!!

Try to stay calm and focus on one step at a time you WILL be OK, just give yourself time. I'll post again in a minute when I've found a link for you.

jay11_2

TLF1970 wrote: »

Sorry hope you don't mind me butting in but need someone to talk to.

I have been with my husband 16 years, married 11. We have 2 children 8 and 6. We are up to our eys in debt (about 40K plus mortgage).

Where do I start? How do I find out what benefits/credits I can claim if I am on my own?

Any advice greatly appreciated.

OK this site is a good place to begin, it's not always 100% accurate, but will give you some idea about benefits: http://www.entitledto.co.uk/

Next, it would be a good idea to start a thread on the debt free wanabe board to get specific advice about the debt side of things, like paying the mortgage and council tax above all else.

Another good place to visit is the night owls thread, usually someone there to talk too all night.

But most of all try to stay calm, you're not a fool, you just tried your best to save your marriage to your children's dad (I would have done the same), thats something to be proud of, he's the fool for doing what he has!!!

SuziQ

Hi Tlf-loads of support here,keep returning.

So sorry to read your situation. I know exactly what you are going through.

DebbieMids72

I can't give too much advice, but I'd also like to give you a big hug. Nobody deserves this treatment. This morning I found out that my friend had been cheated on by her husband. About a month ago, my husband's mate was cheated on (by his so-called friend and also employee). Last weekend my other friend suffered domestic violence. It's all very shocking, and very undeserving.

I hope (and I'm sure) that other people will give you some useful advice.

jillie1974

so, so sorry TLF
there are plenty of peeps on here to advise and help and be a support at this difficult time..

gerturdeanna

OMG!! How many people are going through this sh1te!! I really feel fo everyone going through it all. For the new posters: stay strong, you will get through it all and be better people at the end. I'm going back to bed now - but I'll be on again later