Marriage over don't know where to start

Skint_Lynne

Gert,

I've not posted for a while, but have still been reading. I think you have done the right thing, but you will need to contact this guy tonight somehow, if you don't he might confront old the slapper and she might wriggle out of it, saying it is a hoax, lies etc. The poor guy will have a night of misery if he doesn't speak to you, you actually don't need to justify yourself to your ex, just go out, if you need to say anything say you won't be long. After all, did he justify himself when he was going off to meet his 'friend'? I think not!!

It might seem as if you have caused trouble just now, but you did not create this situation and you are actually doing this guy a favour from saving him from starting a life with this scrubber!!

Jst get out of the house and phone the guy up.

SL x

chevalier

gerturdeanna wrote: »

I can't, he'll hear me!! OMFG!! What have I done!! So wished I hadn't done it - poor bloke doesn't deserve this!!

NO WHAT HE DIDN'T DESERVE WAS HIS FIANCE CHUFFING WELL CHEATING ON HIM WITH YOUR EX OH.

What you did was the RIGHT THING TO DO. He should know what kind of 'thing' he is marrying before he makes it legal. As he has found out now, then he has the option of calling it off, or if he still goes through with it, then he knows that he will have to watch this piece of work like a hawk.

The reason you need to talk to him is to tell him HOW LONG it has been going on. Ie since July, so 'the thing' can't try and wiggle out of it as being 'a last fling' or 'just a one night stand' etc. He needs to know this is an affair, not an unfortunate drunken encounter.

Good luck with talking to him.
chev

Pinkylouloubell

:kisses3: Oh poor you Gert,
I hope your OK, youcome across as a strong women so I am sure youll show this to$$er the door and do what is best for you and kiddies.

Why are men such rat bags when it comes to other women, just can keep it in their pant!!

Big hugs hun.

gerturdeanna

I am a bit scared- he's a big bloke 6'4" and heavy!!
I've texted the other bloke and told him I talk to him tomorrow - I can't now cos he's here.
She's just phoned him, but he hasn't said or done anything
I am so scared!!
!!!!!! have I done!!

Keeping_Motivated

Gert it sounds like you are regretting it now but don't beat yourself up, you had just had a shock and I think it was literally the straw that broke the camels back after what you have been going through. Yes if you had been more rational you may have told him in a different way but it is done now so the best you can do to salvage it is, as others have suggested, text him and explain why you can't talk, apologise for the blunt way in which you told him but explain you have been pushed so far and hurt so much you acted in shock and tell him you will talk to him tomorrow and tell him as much as you know.

Be kind to yourself.
KM x

GeorgeUK

Gert - you haven't done anything to the guy. It's his fiance that's done it and seems to still be doing it all over the place. You may feel guilty but that's only because you are passing on bad news.

If you don't feel you are able to talk to him, make up a new email account and get him on MSN or yahoo messenger. Tell him what you know, what you suspect and anything he asks other than where you live and your name. He may be want in a quiet word with your ex and may end up involving the police depending on how "quiet" he is about it.

He doesn't deserve what has happened to him any more than you did. You told him about the running around, but why? to hurt him? No - it may have been getting your own back, but if he had known about this would you have wanted him to contact you?

I agree that you shouldn't just leave the guy hanging. If you can't speak to him tonight then at least tell him this.

Don't beat yourself up over it Gert. He would have found out some time and it's better now than after the wedding.

gettingbetter

getie

you have been a friend to this bloke even if he doesnt realise it yet

kas xx

Pinkylouloubell

You shouldnt be scared, he and her are the ones in the wrong and who have caused all of this,
what did he expect you to do, just sit back and say oh ok then, I think not.
Has he cheated on yo before Gert?

scottishfreebiehunter

See this would stick in my throat her calling him in family home.
Get him out asap gertxxx

Keeping_Motivated

gerturdeanna wrote: »

I am a bit scared- he's a big bloke 6'4" and heavy!!
I've texted the other bloke and told him I talk to him tomorrow - I can't now cos he's here.
She's just phoned him, but he hasn't said or done anything
I am so scared!!
!!!!!! have I done!!

Gert text or ring your mum and take the kids and go to her house if need be. Don't be scared, if exOH and his bit on the side are annoyed you told the other guy then they should imagine how how upset/annoyed you are but please don't be scared contact someone.

How do you know she just rang him? Does he blatantly talk to her when you are around?