Single and in debt.

Paulgonnabedebtfree

Lula-Hula wrote: »

Hey jake, I'm not drinking either - paragon of virtue that I am

xbf called today to say how much he fancies me... I just told him it's a shame I dont feel the same & I've had bigger & better

Any bets on how long til next contact ?

It's starting to sound like one of those situations where it doesn't matter how you react because any reaction will do.
If you truly want no more contact from him then the best way is just to disconnect the call immediately whenever he phones. That can be tricky with a landline as the caller has to be the one to do the disconnecting.

I remember when I had really got wound up about my ex g/f and she wasn't getting the very clear message. I'm afraid that I lost my temper and gave out a lot of verbal abuse (after being stalked for over a year). When I had finished she reckoned that I only behaved like that because I still loved her. Some people just don't get it.
So if you don't want to play his game, the only way to do that is by totally ignoring him. Completely. Utterly. No words at all. No responses. No reactions. If you take that path though, be prepared for him to up the ante. Of course there might be something about all this that you find empowering and/or flattering at some level. Not saying that it is so but it can be like that sometimes. Only you can know for sure.
Hope you get it sorted out. I think I would find it pretty unsettling myself.

makeup

Shoegal - :j :j to the EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH !!!
so good when your hard work is actaully noticed!!! Well done on that!

Susu - I'm so happy for you. I can't believe how well this is turning out - considering in the start it seemed soo complicated with so many people involved!!!! Brilliant news!

One good friend of mine bought a house with her boyfriend after 6 weeks together. They are now married, very happily and have been for about 3 yrs now. I think you are right, especially once you are older you know what you want and you know when something is right.

You do realise you can't leave the thread though???


I've had a really busy day at work so glad to be home and chilling. My friend did mention drinks but it is with a bunch of her old work pals who I don't know and I didn't fancy it.

I've a big night out tomorrow for a friends birthday so saving myself for then!

Lula-Hula

Paulgonnabedebtfree wrote: »

It's starting to sound like one of those situations where it doesn't matter how you react because any reaction will do.

Think you might be right :rolleyes:

I remember when I had really got wound up about my ex g/f and she wasn't getting the very clear message. I'm afraid that I lost my temper and gave out a lot of verbal abuse (after being stalked for over a year). When I had finished she reckoned that I only behaved like that because I still loved her. Some people just don't get it.

That's exactly what's happened & exactly how he reacted :rolleyes:

I dont find it empowering or flattering & yes, at times it has been unsettling, I tried out what i said earlier as one of you guys suggested it. He's not violent or threatening just a bit sad & very lonely & maybe has some kind of personality disorder where he cant empathise or even 'hear' me say I dont want to know him. One of the issues I had with him was his inability to 'listen' to me,or ever see anything from anyone elses viewpoint. He would say very inappropriate things at times & then be surprised that they could cause offence. I did find out that he was diagnosed with ADHD as a child so,maybe there's a link there; have often wondered about aspergers . The mother is a bit unusual too. Anyway, thank you for sharing your experience & I will now completely ignore him as you suggested, will make the most of my caller display

No more talk of him -

Jake - no worries, but lets not go there again :rolleyes:

TheyCallMeStacey

Hi everyone, I am new here and reading your posts has given me hope for the future.

I am a single mother of a 5 year old girl (her father left when she was 7 weeks old) and I am living in a lovely rented house which is costing me a fortune. However, I wanted a safe place to live with my child and I admit to still sleeping with the light on!

I am in debt and have for the 1st time in my life (I am mid-30s) been turned down for a loan. I do ok financially, but I find it difficult to accept that I cannot have holidays or a newer car. I wanted to have a loan as the deals on my credit cards are running out and the interest will almost eat up how much I am paying each month.

Anyway, just wanted to say Hi and thanks for listening.

Shoe_Gal

TheyCallMeStacey wrote: »

Hi everyone, I am new here and reading your posts has given me hope for the future.

I am a single mother of a 5 year old girl (her father left when she was 7 weeks old) and I am living in a lovely rented house which is costing me a fortune. However, I wanted a safe place to live with my child and I admit to still sleeping with the light on!

I am in debt and have for the 1st time in my life (I am mid-30s) been turned down for a loan. I do ok financially, but I find it difficult to accept that I cannot have holidays or a newer car. I wanted to have a loan as the deals on my credit cards are running out and the interest will almost eat up how much I am paying each month.

Anyway, just wanted to say Hi and thanks for listening.

Hi Stacey - and welcome :hello:

Ossireo

ex-DH just picked up DS and has mentioned that he has heard from the court (but I haven't yet, typical!) that our Decree Nisi should be granted on 2nd March and should be Absolute 6 weeks later I should be a divorced lady by end of April :j (yes, yes I know its taken us 7 years to get around to doing it all etc etc but I was ill and he was lazy lol)

Shoe_Gal

Saturday nights are sooooooooooooo boring! :rolleyes: What's everybody up to???

Eriberri

Shoe_Gal wrote: »

Saturday nights are sooooooooooooo boring! :rolleyes: What's everybody up to???

About to put the kids to bed and then chill for a bit. Though I think I will be off for an early, early night! I'm sooooooooo tired. I was working last night till 4am, and the night before I went to see Metallica and an old school mate came with me, so got very little sleep cos of sharing my bed and I ain't used to it! :rotfl:

I'm torturing myself with Comic Relief dance stuff as well :rolleyes:

Shoe_Gal

Eriberri wrote: »

I'm torturing myself with Comic Relief dance stuff as well :rolleyes:

Can't do Satuday nite telly - I am actually allergic to any prongrammes with Ant and Dec in them! :rotfl: :rotfl:

Considering SATC DVD - again!!! :rolleyes:

Eriberri

Shoe_Gal wrote: »

Can't do Satuday nite telly - I am actually allergic to any prongrammes with Ant and Dec in them! :rotfl: :rotfl:

Considering SATC DVD - again!!! :rolleyes:

That appears to be why I'm avoiding ITV then! :rotfl:Telly is rubbish - even my default channel of "Dave" is letting me down tonight! :rolleyes:

I really think I'm gonna be in bed by 9pm. That just never happens......I might tuck myself up with a DVD in bed. Fun times on a Saturday night! :rotfl: