Single and in debt.

jakemuk

ahh not gud tdqo

TDQO

and we're having cake for this girl in the office who I despise so I have to sit there and pretend to sing happy birthday while thinking up imaginative ways to dismember her.

makeup

But did she buy the cake? I've always found the office tradition is to buy the cakes yourself so you have to make sure you eat all the cakes everyone else brings in to get value for the cakes you have to buy. That makes sense to me but clearly not very diet-worthy?!

Re: dating websites. A number of my friends have been on them with varying degrees of success. One of my best mates got married last May to a guy she met on Loveandfriends and a work colleague moved in with someone she met on Guardian soulmates and very good friends of mine met on Gaydar so those are the success stories.

Another good friend of mine said they should rename Sarah Beenys site to My Sl*tty Friend. She met quite a few losers who she felt would never get anywhere so she felt obliged to offer a pity sh g. I think she then moved onto isingles which is free so that is a bonus but she did get one guy texting her to complain she wasn't taking the relationship seriously enough - this was before they had actually met :eek:

I think they are a good opportunity to meet people and also to remind yourself that there are single men / women out there who are perfectly nice and attractive and normal (obviously there are always gonna be a few looneys but that applies to all aspects of dating!!) My friend who got married to an internet date said she thought was key to meet up quickly as no point getting on brilliantly via email if there was no spark!

TDQO

No everyone chips in $1 and then the admin girl goes to wherever she can get the most cake for the money... She'll be back in about 20mins with it.

One of my friends has had a lot of success using hotornot and plentyoffish because she loves casual sex. I don't mean to make her sound like a !!!!!! (she isn't) but she has met quite a few nice guys and has got to know them very well but as usual with these sites they're maybe 100miles away or work night shifts or something. She meets them and they have a great weekend, lots of sex and then maybe dont see each other for a month or two. It's a great way to meet people who could be partner material but circumstances are wrong so they end up "enjoying" each other without any strings.

Not really my bag but fair play to anyone who does meet people this way. Just remember to be careful about giving out detauils etc. I've always been employed as a "lurker" to check out the guys when they meet them and to step in if anything goes tits up. Luckily it never has

fendi-bag-lady

Hi mind if I join in? I'm Laura I'm 23, single and in debt

How was your cake TDQO?

System

Hello All,

I just wanted to have a moan about my situation to people that will appreciate where I'm coming from, and this seems like just the place! Am 29 now and have only ever been financially single. Had really poorly-paid jobs for years and accumulated about £12k of debt. Then bought my first flat 2 years ago and the debt has more than doubled since due to paying for everything myself rather than being able to halve costs with a partner. The mortgage was 100% and interest only and due to my large debts - now £27k not including £7k student loan - I am unable to change it to a repayment mortgage. I have calculated that it will take me 4 years to clear off the £27k and 5 years for the student loan, so that's an anticipated debt-free date of some time in 2014! In the meantime I will have to keep my mortgage as interest only, so even in 5 years time I will still have absolutely no equity in my flat (unless house prices start rising again!). Absolutely no-one knows how bad my situation is - some friends know I am "in debt" but have no clue about the massive scale of it all. My boyfriend of 4 months is also in the dark and my parents think my only debt is my student loan. I am just about able to make the minimum payments on everything and not starve to death in the process, but the whole thing is really depressing and I have cut costs in every area possible - even getting the bus to work for £40 a month instead of the tube at £140 per month which adds an hour and a half to my daily commute which makes me feel even more depressed - but still it'll take me 4-5 years to clear. I am convinced that I would not be in anything like this amount of debt if I had been lucky enough to find someone to settle down with early on. To make matters worse I am the only one in my family that has not lived with a partner for at least 3 years and I get really bitter watching them all spend money on doing their houses up and going on nice holidays, when I am living off of bread and cereal and barely making ends meet. I tell you - being single is HARD!

Sorry to have such a long grumble but I feel like venting and I am too ashamed to speak about this to people I know.

Thanks for listening (reading)!

Red.

TDQO

fendi-bag-lady wrote: »

Hi mind if I join in? I'm Laura I'm 23, single and in debt

How was your cake TDQO?

Ello ello ello, the cake was good ta but the health n safety meeting that followed wasn't.

Welcome in....

fendi-bag-lady

Hi Red, I don't really have much advice but just wanted to say being single isn't so bad at least the flat is all yours and you can do whatever you want to it! Maybe you could tell your parentsf or boyfriend you're in debt? You don't need to go into all the gory details but maybe if you knew that they knew it would help you feel a little better? A problem shared is a problem halved and all that! If my parents knew the extent of my debt they would be so disappointed so I've never discussed figures etc with them but they know I'm always skint so they don't comment on things like they used too (like why I hardly ever go out at the weekend like 'normal' 20-somethings!!)

Keep your chin up I'm sure someone will have some advice for you soon

Laura x

fendi-bag-lady

Aw that's good (that you enjoy the cake, not that your meeting was rubbish!)

Are you in Oz? That's so cool! I would love to go there, not gonna happen anytime soon though how long you there for?

TDQO

Red: Yeh I can't really give you any advice but good luck!