Single and in debt.

Ossireo

Sounds like a good un hun! You'll always know if he is after more when he turns up at your door with a machete and some shaving foam! I will confess, the regular shaving is certainly a downside to dating, I miss having the funds for a regular wax!

I hope it all works out, you never know what the future holds and the fact he respects your celibate decisions is a big tick in my book

PinkTwirl

Oh heck, I've overspent by about £300 this month and I only got paid on Friday.

I'm wondering what the hell is wrong with me. I spent £50 on make-up I didn't need, £23 on shampoo which is extortionate, and £125 in Tesco made up of flaming gin and Jack Daniels which I'm too ashamed to even drink now (about £50 was alcohol, the rest was food and toiletries, I still can't get my head around them costing so much).

I can't seem to understand that I can't have ANY luxuries.

No more no more no more for me. 6 months told turkey now.

I've still got a £50 xmas meal to pay for on Thursday. (

I hate money and money hates me at the moment.

Damn it, no more spending on ANYTHING. I've had enough, I'm sick of this debt rigmarol. It's going to be beans on toast and apples each day.

Posting this as I want to give myself a kick up the bum!

Lula-Hula

Hello all you fabby single peeps

Have been frantically busy & not very money saving to the extent that if I need to spend more than £10 in the next couple of weeks then I'll have to use the emergency/savings fund .

Oh well, live, learn & plan & save better next year

Hope everyone here has a fab christmas

lula xx

:xmastree: :snow_grin :xmastree:

bathgatebuyer

You too, Lula!

I've had a stinking day so far. Started off alright until we were due to leave work and someone decided to be quite nasty to me. Apparently I'm a miserable so-and-so for not enjoying this time of year, more so New Year rather than Xmas which is largely because I'm on my own, and no time other than any does it actually strike home than during the festive period. Generally I'm ok with that, but when it comes to Xmas and there's no presents under the tree and the number of Xmas cards is single figures, it really just emphasises how lonely things can be (and those that know how bad things got a few years ago, know that it's a real sore point for me that I've just learned to adapt to).

Then had someone say to me when they heard I was listening to Puccini, "Oh there's actually someone quite cultured in there" to me. What the hell does that mean? Of course I'm flipping cultured - I was grade 8 on 3 instruments before I'd even left school. Cheeky gits. Just when you think people know and respect you, they come out with stupid wee digs like that leaving me feeling like some ill-educated moron.

I know it sounds really small, but I have this thing about how people perceive me - they think that because I like football I'm some sort of raging Tomboy (and I'm really offended by the 'tomboy' word - I'm a woman exactly the same as them who just happens to like sports but they insist on sticking stupid bloody labels on me because it helps their tiny minds understand that not every woman lives for high heels and make-up). It's been, "You're hardly a romantic are you...............................there some culture in there waiting to get out......................you're not like the rest of us............................" What the hell am I then? I don't like chart music, I'm not vain, I'd rather spend time watching sport than soaps and they can't understand or accept that.

Apologies for the rant, but I'm just so bloody !!!!ed off with wee comments like that. Just because I liike things that they don't understand, they discount me as a person and that's actually really hurtful. You'd think after things being like this since I was about 4 or 5 (I'm 32 now!) I would have learned to adapt to how people judge me!!!

Lula-Hula

Oh BGB, how infuriating :mad: .

Some people just cant see that there may be different forms of life outside their tiny world. I have a friend who looks at me in amazement because i neither know or care who is in the jungle, the house, winning at becoming the next plastic popster or having a head transplant :rolleyes: .

I often think of what i shall do for christmas when DD is all grown up & has better things to do on christmas day .... it's a scary thought & much as I do get pleasure from her enjoyment of all the festivities I dont think I'll miss all the hype & look forward to doing something entirely random.

Take care hon & just remember that you are fabulous :grouphug:

lula xx

SuSu1871

Hi Bathgate
Well, first of all, I think you need one of these :grouphug:

:mad: Some people just don't think do they?? If you don't fit into any of their boxes they panic and their tiny brains go "does not compute". It sounds like your colleagues lead simple lives where all characters can be easily categorised like on Big Brother (girly girl, tomboy, screaming queen, sports mad lad, new man...) They clearly don't mix outside of their own "type" to see that most interesting people are made up a bit of this and a bit of that. That's what makes us interesting, it's what gives us more than one dimension. Why the hell should you be what they want you to be?

I don't know what happened a few years ago, but it does seem to me that you're not happy spending Christmas on your own. To be honest, I don't know what to say that will make you feel better, other than to remember that as long as you've got friends (including us lot on here) you're not alone, but perhaps just a bit lonely. And everyone gets lonely from time to time. Even smug marrieds!

Have you looked at Sarahb's suggestion of writing a list of 100 things to do next year? It's a great way to think about what you want to do, or be, next year. I thought it would be really difficult, and I've only reached 24 things on my list, but I''ve found it a really positive experience and have since spent a few days looking at charity cycle rides for next summer, so at least I've got something to train for and look forward to.

Perhaps you could take up one of the 3 instruments you used to play? Maybe find a local amateur orchestra or am dram group you could join? Or, perhaps you could get a 2nd job selling programmes at your local football ground - get paid to watch football!

Anyway, this isn't about me, or maybe it is. Maybe it's about all of us singletons who are on our own this Christmas, whether we're happy or not. I think we need to think about how we want our life to be next Christmas and start making changes now. We need to find something that's attainable on your own and isn't just "get a boyfriend/girlfriend" (although I admit that getting a boyfriend is on my list of things to do next year!), but we should fill our lives with something; a new interest; a new hobby; some new friends. Then even if we are still single next year we'll be too busy to worry about it!

I'll be online for most of the evening and, tbh, a lot of tomorrow (apart from a bit of telly in the evening - rock 'n' roll :rotfl: ) if you need to rant. As a fellow complex football-loving, not-particularly-girly, but cries-at-Strictly-Come-Dancing gal, I can say hand on heart that I LIKE being different! It keeps people guessing!!

Keep your pecker up petal x

SuSu1871

Hey, Bathgate, I've just noticed in your siggy that you've won a week in Beverly Hills this year! Is that THE Beverly Hills??? Have you been? What was it like? How cool!!!

:T

bathgatebuyer

I have been! I treated my Mum to a week on Rodeo Drive shopping and generally being all glam, 'twas great. I loved treating her. I loved hearing her say to people, "My daughter is taking me to Beverly Hills" like it happens every week!

LA was fantastic. I loved it. It did help that we were 5 star all the way and treated like royalty (stayed at the hotel that was in Pretty Woman) and couldn't find anything to dislike about it. Definitely need to sort my money out so I can go another big trip. I'm trying to convince a friend to come on a cheapy trip to London (albeit I know some good accommodation we can get for a very cheap rate through a friend who runs some serviced apartments in Chelsea).

Thanks for everyones kind words. I'm just in a huff right now because I've had a bad day and I've had nearly 30 years of not fitting into some neat category for people to accept me. I suppose we all want to be accepted in our own way - mine is to be accepted as a sport-loving (seriously, we even ventured through one of the most dangerous parts of LA to see La Galaxy play football on a Saturday night!), music playing, music writing, book reading, internet-loving, former marathon running, short-bum who can draw a bit, paint a bit and is generous to a fault. Heaven forbid if one of my colleagues kids turn out to have some interests they can't accept!

Anyhoo, the mere memory of Beverly Hills has cheered me right up. I think I'm going to head out for chips and sit and watch Pretty Woman for the evening! ha ha!!!

SuSu1871

Ooh, I'm so jealous! I'd love to go the west coast of America. I'm trying to persuade my boss that we need to visit one of our systems developers in Sausalito (sp?) near San Francisco next year. If we do go, I can extend my stay for a couple of days and have a mini holiday for the price of a few nights in a cheap hotel :cool:

Did you see David Beckham play in LA or was he injured? :rotfl: I'm a ManU fan, but rarely get to go to games, and I've never seen Becks play. Last game I saw was Solksjaer's testimonial in August. Giggs and Scholes were in a different league...sublime!

My lovely Italian flatmate is a Roma fan (although used to play for Lazio!) is trying to get tickets for us to see Arsenal v Roma in Feb. He asked if I'd mind being with the away fans. hmmm.... watching football with loads of Italian blokes..? :dance:

bathgatebuyer

Yup, Beckham was playing and some crazy person ran on to grab him. Weirdly in America they applauded the guy whereas here they would just shout abuse at him!! Their ground is in one of the worst bits of LA (right next to Compton) where there are regular gang murders so it was a bit intimidating coming out after the game, but one of the highlights of the trip, although strange havng the national anthem and all the rigmaroll before the actual game started. Saw Beckham's house too, although it's tiny compared to Rod Stewart's!

Went on a day trip to SF too and it was superb. It's the 2nd time I've been to SF and it's an amazing city. We went on a crystal clear sunny day and the views around the Bay were stunning.

Well WELL worth a visit.