How often do your children stay with father when separated?

Lady_S

Nope, this wouldn't work for us aswell. She is as mad as a bag of toads. It would just mean the arguements which used to happen regularly would start up again. I agree though if parents can make it work it would be wonderful.

We live nearly 75 miles away, and sometimes that is too close. We were once asked if we could have them overnight on a school night. Which would have involved a lovely 2 hour journey to school the next morning.

Sparkkee

saveallmymoney wrote: »

In my circle the "interested" fathers have 50/50 arrangements and the "less interested" ones have every other weekend.

not always. i have a friend who would love for his kids to spend more time at his house but his ex won't allow more than one night each weekend and a few days at a time during the holidays (unless it suits her to do otherwise:rolleyes: ).

needtoearnmoremoney

My son was told their relationship was over when his son was 1 week old. He is now 2. From the time he was 6 months old my son has had him from Friday evening until Sunday teatime one weekend and just sunday the next. I also will sometimes have him on occasional extra days.

It seems to work well and because this is all my grandson has ever known he is a very contented child.

MiasMommy

I just wanted to add me and my ex have been spilt up for quite a while at first he would have her for a few hours 6-9 every mon and wed and all day sat 9 am till 9pm. Only recently as he has moved into his own place, and Im talking this weekend he's had her frm fri night till tonight.She's 20 months old, although she is still little, I do think it is vital to get that break.

Although I love her to bits I havent really missed her this weekend just glad for the break as she is never away from me.

I think when your with your kids that constant, you start to take them for granted and get ratty with (maybe just me!)

I think this arrangement will be every weekend till I go back to uni, but ultimatley it what suits you and how comfortable you feel. He lives in the same area so I know if she got that upset she would be back at my house within 5 mins.

Hth

Threebabes

My sisters sons were 9 months and 3 1/2 when her and her ex split up. He has them a Friday & Wednesday night, picks them up at 5.30pm and drops them off 7am. So tea is out the way with and at a push he has to bath them and put them to bed. He never spends QT with them. She can never have a lie in. He only wanted them the 2 nights to reduce his csa payment to her .

She does need the two nights off, the kids are a handful.

Your kids are small you deserve time off, dont feel guilty about it. No matter how much we adore our kids they can drive you mad :rotfl: .

Maybe start gradually letting them stay over.

loftus

MiasMommy wrote: »

but ultimatley it what suits you and how comfortable you feel.

Errmm No. Contact is for the benefit of the child - and good and regular contact with both parents is in the child's interests in the vast majority of situations.
Sadly it is some parents who have trouble getting a grasp on this and see denial of contact or refusal to have contact as a weapon to hurt their ex.

Mollymop5

My ex and me are good friends and live a street apart.My 14 yr old comes and goes between houses though lives here by rights.He mostly stays over tuesdays and Thursdays with his dad.My 5yr old dd mainly stays over on a Saturday 12pm til Sunday 1pm.Ds stays over Saturday too.This works for us as they have a routine and I have "me time".

Lunar_Eclipse

tsstss7 wrote: »

I dont believe this stereotype is very fair - most fathers would love to spend more time with their LO's but they prioritise their childs stability of care over their own needs....that does not make them disinterested parents - far from it.

I would love to believe that, but I doubt it's true in many cases. If most fathers wanted to spend more time with their children, then they would - assuming they could.

The single parents I know are in the 50:50 camp. Typically Mon-Thurs and then Fri-Mon.

MiasMommy

loftus wrote: »

Errmm No. Contact is for the benefit of the child - and good and regular contact with both parents is in the child's interests in the vast majority of situations.
Sadly it is some parents who have trouble getting a grasp on this and see denial of contact or refusal to have contact as a weapon to hurt their ex.

Yes I do agree that contact is for the benefit of the child, but if the parent didnt feel comfortable with the other parent having them overnight then I dont think it would be advised. As long as the child still sees the non residential parent on a regular basis then all is fine.

What I meant is that its up to them how long the child should stay over for.

loftus

MiasMommy wrote: »

Yes I do agree that contact is for the benefit of the child, but if the parent didnt feel comfortable with the other parent having them overnight then I dont think it would be advised. As long as the child still sees the non residential parent on a regular basis then all is fine.

What I meant is that its up to them how long the child should stay over for.

Unless there is some risk to the child why? Why should one parent dictate contact to the other? In situations where both parents want regular contact, including overnight, why does the PWC have a veto over overnight contact.