Breast feeding, pros and cons

thatgirlsam

yes, some have made up their minds already..
yes, they are free to listen to what their families and partners think.. how can we stop that?
all the women who leave our unit are aware they can see a bf counsellor..


why can you not accept that it is a free choice?
i think its intensly patronising to suggest that formula feeding mums are doing so because of advertising..

surreysaver

thatgirlsam wrote: »

what is this - breastfeeding court??

I think it is!

Hell_Dans_Un_Handcart

thatgirlsam wrote: »

yes, some have made up their minds already..
yes, they are free to listen to what their families and partners think.. how can we stop that?
all the women who leave our unit are aware they can see a bf counsellor..


why can you not accept that it is a free choice?
i think its intensly patronising to suggest that formula feeding mums are doing so because of advertising..

Adverts work for some people, just as with any product. There wouldn't be huge battles by formula companies to get ads on TV if they didn't work. I'm not suggesting they work for everyone, but of course they work for some.

And I don't accept that it's as simple as it being a "free choice." For a start, it's not a choice for the mother who doesn't know she can contact a breastfeeding counsellor to solve her problems, or whose family keeps telling her to "just give baby a bottle." She often doesn't have the choice to continue. If she is equipped with the knowledge, if she knows where she can look for support - then she has a choice.

Likewise, I would expect that any FFing mum felt that her circumstances meant she also didn't have much of a choice. Why else would you formula feed, if you were fully informed?

neverdespairgirl

onlyroz wrote: »

Most people did not notice what I was doing, and those who did usually commented positively. The only person who got remotely uncomfortable was my brother, who I think had difficulties with the idea that his little sis was a mother.

I had a couple of negative comments in public, but all my family were fine - it was just a non-issue, really. My mother BF all 4 of us, so my uncles / Dad etc just see it as what a mother does to feed a baby. My mother obviously trained my Dad well, as he always offered to get me a glass of water, which in the early days especially, was very handy!

daphne_descends

thatgirlsam wrote: »

the point i was making is that not all breastmilk is superior..
i know someone who has an appalling diet, drinks 4 pints of cider then bf's her baby..

Actually, there is not much wrong with that - alcohol leaves breastmilk at the same rate that it leaves the bloodstream - about a unit an hour - so it is perfectly safe to drink whilst breastfeeding. 4 pints is a bit excessive but I am not getting into the detail - i.e. how long did it take to drink, when did she feed etc - but I assure you that breastmilk is still better when a mother has been drinking than formula.

Hell_Dans_Un_Handcart wrote: »

A good support network is essential for BFing, agreed. Back in cave-days of yore, women would have lived in small societies and would have been very involved with each other, helping out etc. We just don't have this a lot of the time; society is structured very differently.

Ideally, yes, but I would add that I have had NO support - from anyone - everyone I know would love me to stop BF and crack open the SMA - I am literally on my own. It is only stubbornness that keeps me going!

surreysaver wrote: »

No. The people here have a chip on their shoulder about those who look down upon those who don't bf. Or critisise those who don't. They do not have a chip about people who breastfeed.

I think you might be projecting just a tiny tiny bit I don't look down on anyone. For anything.

thatgirlsam wrote: »

ok, allergies aside, although a valid point in my mind, there are certain herbs bf mums should avoid..

listen, i am not anti bf, and i don't know why im trying to point out pitfalls of bf!

i suppose its because there are certain mums who will always feel superior because they bf..
not just that bm is superior, because we know that, but in fact they are superior mothers..
it is this myth i would like to dispell, as anyone who thinks they are superior is a bit ott imo

What herbs?

the trouble with the 'myth' about BF mothers being superior is that the only people who think it exists, think that formula milk is as good as BM. So I am not sure how we work around that. I don't feel superior to anyone. I don't care how you feed your baby. Really. I could not give a !!!!.

I do care if you have been misled. I do care if you make a decision without correct information. How is that superior? I am not out to ridicule anyone. And some have said 'I'd like to know why people don't even try' - I only care if it is a wrongly informed decision - and sadly it usually is.

thatgirlsam wrote: »

of course you are right, it should be an informed decision..
but someone who says 'i don't fancy it' should not be made to justify that..
what is this - breastfeeding court??

it is a personal choice - the same as religion, if you like, i wouldn't particularly appreciate you questioning those either, especially if i felt that you thought your religion was more valid than mine.

No, exactly - I would be happy for them that they made the right decision for them.

I wouldn't like to get into comparing a baby's sole source of nutrition, with religion though The fact that breast milk is better - and NORMAL - cannot be compared with fairy tales

Hell_Dans_Un_Handcart wrote: »

You'd have to eat those herbs in absolutely huge quantities to have any effect, though Seriously, so long as your baby is happy with it and you're not dosing up with methadone etc every few hours(!), you can eat whatever you like.

I don't think breastfeeding mums feel superior. A lot of us have battled through problems and that makes us proud of ourselves, but I've yet to meet a bf mum who looks upon an FF mum and says "jeez, why is she feeding her baby that poison?"

We do encounter a lot of myth, misinformation and negativity about breastfeeding, though. Everyone knows the "breast is best" motto but that seems to be about the depth of knowledge for some people; I think a lot of people think it's propaganda. But breastfeeding is, nine times out of ten, better for baby - and that's a hard thing to say, because it's not aimed at mums who chose not to feed and to make them feel guilty (where's the point in that?), but to point out the fact for mums who are yet to feed. This thread was for a mum who was yet to feed.

If you chose not to feed, I take it you made an informed decision. But a lot of mums aren't informed, for whatever reason. How do we phrase everything sensitively without implying that formula is just as good for baby? Because it isn't. It's a pretty good substitute if breastfeeding is going to have a negative impact for mum or baby - that's what it's meant to be - but it is scientifically proven to be quite far from the ideal food for infants (if it was that great, the manufacturers wouldn't keep changing it). How do we say this to people who need to know, without offending? Genuine question.

:T

On this forum alone I have seen things posted like 'try Aptamil - I bought it because it is the closest milk to breastmilk'.

Breast milk comes from humans. Formula comes from a cow.

thatgirlsam wrote: »

yes, some have made up their minds already..
yes, they are free to listen to what their families and partners think.. how can we stop that?
all the women who leave our unit are aware they can see a bf counsellor..


why can you not accept that it is a free choice?
i think its intensly patronising to suggest that formula feeding mums are doing so because of advertising..

I think it is naive not to think that.

Why do you think the formula companies even bother to advertise then?

The current SMA advert suggests that if you use SMA, your husband will be the perfect doting dad. There is an Aptamil ad that dares to imply that formula milk can help build a baby's immune system in the same way that breastmilk does!

It is a free choice, when you know all the facts, but most people don't - when I was pregnant I didn't know what the difference was! And I am not a stupid person. I just thought, I'll see if I can BF, if not, no harm in bottles! After all I was bottle fed. So was my partner. We are very healthy. No obesity, no allergies. So what's wrong with formula? Well obviously I have learnt a lot since then. But it is naive to think people know BF is better.

OH and one last thing - this happy mum = happy baby crap?
REALLY offensive to those of us suffering from PND. Just because I am not on top of the world does not mean my baby suffers. He is the happiest little boy I know. So, no, you don't need a happy mum to = happy baby.

daphne_descends

Actually I am pretty !!!!ed off with the assumption that I should feel superior because of breastfeeding.

Why do you think that?

You don't know me. Do you think I sit in a group of other breastfeeders, all going 'ha ha aren't we great?!'

Because I don't. In fact I only know two other people who are breastfeeding mums. The rest formula feed. There is NO difference between me and them. I am no better. I am in awe of my friend who bought up twins on her own after her useless DH left her. She is stronger than I could be. Or my other friend who's baby was in and out of SCBU when he was born and she had to go home from hospital without her baby. Do you really think I sit at home thinking 'you silly woman not doing what is best!'

If so you - this applies to anyone who thinks those things - have a very, very twisted view of other women.

galvanizersbaby

nadnad wrote: »

ok i didnt want to get too embroiled in this but i would like to ask why mothers who ARE able to breast feed don't. I would especially like to know why some mothers wont even try to do it. I can of course understand people not breast feeding for medical reasons, and I can understand people giving up because they find it too painful or uncomfortable or tiring and I know that I have said in a previous post that it is of course a womans choice which it is, but I would like to know the reasons why a woman wouldnt try to do the best thing she can for her baby.

Just one example - In the case of my younger sister I'm afraid I put her off even trying - she saw the problems I had with my 2 - witnessed me in pain trying to breast feed my son with cracked bleeding nipples and thrush and then all the worry 2nd time round with my daughter when she wasn't gaining any weight - there was also the matter that my exhusband was unsupportive and found b/f a turn off which caused a lot of problems in the marriage.
I guess there will be people reading this thread now that may be put off by the cons of breastfeeding - which I guess you don't really hear about usually unless you know somebody that's done it?!

galvanizersbaby

clairehi wrote: »

Frankly, I believe that the reason a lot of women do not b/f is that they think it makes them unsexy, although this may not be a bad thing in my book if it stops you getting pg again for a while

in my case it certainly made me feel unsexy - it contributed towards the loss of my husband - not such a bad thing as it turned out but at the time was catastrophic

I hope that not every woman that breast feeds feels unsexy though!?

PeskyPenguin

Daphne, I love that SMA advert! Its my favourite even though I don't use that brand. I simply asked my MW to recommend one after I gave birth .

I'm glad you don't give a !!!! how I feed my baby. Hallelujah! And I'm glad you don't consider yourself superior as I certainly don't consider yourself so .

I do, however, think that BFing does damage to ones hearing as it seems to fall on deaf BF's ears that 'most FF's know breast is best'. I also think once you have decided to BF or FF you should live and let live. Maybe put down the text books and take the WHO website off your browser. Can I recommend a different pastime? I particuarly enjoy relaxing with Patricia Cornwell and James Patterson

onlyroz

I do remember my (male) biology teacher at school describing breastfeeding as a "disgusting habit". This was the same teacher that refused to teach us about contraception, on religious grounds, and who ended up in jail for possessing child pornography...