Guess whose back!? The Return Diary

Purpleroses

it sometimes does feel like debt takes over your life. i know it does for me anyway! it's like a thick fog you can't see a way out of. I hope you find out about your job soon! one less worry eh?!

ye you should tell him he doenst need to come shopping with you making you look like the fab understanding wife but in reality you get to spend exactly what you want and if he wants chocolate he can get it himself! lol!

CAFCGirl

Could not be more right my friend...

It just feels heavy, like im being squashed by it some days.

Oh well, its not going to go away anytime soon so just have to grin and bear it.

I'm just gna stick to either going alone, shopping alone or leaving him to go shopping for the things he wants from his money.

I ate one of his chocolate bars to demonstrate my annoyance lol!

Just done a 2 week meal plan, and done food shopping online, £35.02 and hopefully will work through some of the stores of items we've got in.so quite happy with that really.

clearmydebts

CAFCGirl wrote: »

ARGH!

When is life going to start to get better?!

I'm in such a foul mood today. Just posted about this on the 15k challenge but it wasnt really the right place.

Been to Asda with DH and he's just NOT helping!
I wasnt happy about him putting 3 multipacks of chocolate bars in the basket for his lunches at work.
And he went into one about how he was "not just going to take 1 bar of chocolate a day to work" and it felt like he was spitting the words at me.
Dont get me wrong I love the guy, he does a lot for me, can be very supportive etc, but he just doesnt seem to understand that I worry myself like a mental person trying to control what we spend because we're trying to pay back HIS debts. I know when I married him I agreed to take them on as my own, but i dont really see why I should be the only person trying.
All he has to pay from his bank account is £620 to our debt account, and then his phone bill and then all the money left is his, which leaves him about £170 a month to spend on whatever. give him some freedom I thought.
Im paying the rent, the council tax, sky bill, landline and broadband, as well as food shopping, and then my own mobile.
Now I know its all relative because I now earn more than he does, but this leaves me about £75 a month to spend on myself, and hes acting like he's so hard done by because I didnt see why we needed to spend £3 on chocolate for a week for his work lunches!

Maybe Im going insane... losing the plot etc but im fed up of these debts, i want them gone - done with - finnito! Sometimes i just feel like im on my own and even when i try to discuss it with him, his only response is that it is being paid, we are overpaying, and we cant do anymore.
Im not asking for a vegetable patch - making your own clothes, never turning the lights on kinda money saving but its like he feels like he's some sort of martyr because hes not spending AS freely as he used to.... its not matryrdom, its ONLY SPENDING WHAT YOU HAVE!

ARGH!!!!!!
I just dont know whether to laugh or cry anymore, its doing my head in, its all I ever seem to think about... and i wish we were just on the same page... bl&&dy hell the same book would be a start!!!

Hiya,

Just found your diary and will subscribe. I only know you from the 15K challenge but it is good to read your diary as well!

First of all, just want to say sorry to hear about your loss. It sounds like you have made some excellent friends on here and in particular the person who took the time to make you the beautiful bracelet. It amazes me how people can be so kind and thoughtful.

Couldn't pass by this post without responding. I feel the same about my OH today. he is driving me mad. I posted on my diary and then took it off cos I felt guilty but it was good to get all the anger and frustration out on paper. I feel like punching a wall in frustration today. I am so sick of being in debt. It is also doing me head in and I sometimes feel like I am the only one bothering

Anyway. I hope you are feeling better today. I suppose we all have days like this.

CAFCGirl

Hi CMD,

Nice to see you over here on the dark side aka my moan fest of a diary. Thanks for taking the time out to post, much appreciated.

I feel a bit guilty about my rant as well. I love my husband dearly but its because i love him so much that he can have such an effect on me, if I didnt care about him I wouldnt care what he got up to...

The debts r starting to drag me down quite a bit, especially with deciding not to buy anything for christmas, so i feel like everyone is shopping and having fun apart from me LOL

djdymond

just a suggestion honey... im assuming your paying for the food then? well i say, you pay for one pack of choccie bars, any more packs and he can use his own money to pay for them? if he took a tenner of his money with him, any extras could come out of that? that way he will either say no thats not fair and you only pay for one pack anyway or 2, he pays for them and everyones a winner! (are they supermarket brand, i know they are alot cheaper...)

OR... you could do the shopping on your own? (my OH is always putting things in trolley, i save alot going alone!)

OR... paying for it to be delivered i know adds to the total, but again, if it means you spend alot less in the long run (I know i do!) then it might be worth trying?

xxxx

djdymond

oppps, in my tired state, i read your first post about this and then replied, then realising there was alot of posts about this, all of them saying what i said!!! xxx

clearmydebts

CAFCGirl wrote: »

Hi CMD,

Nice to see you over here on the dark side aka my moan fest of a diary. Thanks for taking the time out to post, much appreciated.

I feel a bit guilty about my rant as well. I love my husband dearly but its because i love him so much that he can have such an effect on me, if I didnt care about him I wouldnt care what he got up to...

The debts r starting to drag me down quite a bit, especially with deciding not to buy anything for christmas, so i feel like everyone is shopping and having fun apart from me LOL

Thanks for the welcome. Hope you are feeling a lot better today. I am, have decided that if I have a serious economy drive in November it will mean I have a much better Xmas because I am giving myself a month's break from the debts anyway (except minimum payments!)

bella2121

HI CAFC!!!!

HOpe you feelin better, men can be so annoyin on the money saving front!! my OH always chucks multipacks of chocs in the trolley and they are sooooo expensive, I can go the market and get 10 for a £1 but he doesnt seem to care?? anyway i have to give him credit he is really trying and is understanding alot more why we have to save which is good

No news on the job fronts yet, work at the moment are treating me and my friend as real mugs we asked on friday if we could speak to the assistant manager and was told yeah no probs she'll be in on monday, suprise suprose she wasnt there!!!!!!! my friend is gonna ring the big boss today and make an appointment to see her its getting behond a joke now we have much more work to do than anyone else, and on top of that we are covering another patch because theres no one to do it arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!! its been goin on for months and months!!!!!

on a positive note OH has had a meeting with health and safety executive today who is disgusted with the state of his place of work and thinks OH has a brilliant case so fingers crossed on that front

Have a good day everyone, really need to cheer myself up am feeling really down xx

winkle1

ahhh I have just caught up with your diary after the weekend and the charm bracelet sounds like such a lovely gesture, thats so nice.

i have friends i have met on other forums who i would consider to be real mates too, there are some genuinley lovely people out there.

winkle1

LOL @ eating on of [EMAIL="OH@s"]OH's[/EMAIL] choc bars, that'll show him!!!