Unplanned Pregnancy - Advice needed

Carmina_Piranha_3

hi destiny, please don't take this the wrong way - i am not suggesting you have a termination. i just sort of wanted to say that although some lovely MSE people have told you they had surprise babies and everything was okay there are probably also people who have had terminations and thought it was right, but they're not on here telling you about it.

i'm sure you'll get wonderful support on here no matter what your decision.

Dill

destiny01 wrote: »

My gut feeling is telling me to go ahead with the pregnancy - maybe because I have 2 beautiful children already? don't know why but that's my gut feeling but I know I can't do it on my own (and I would not want to) so guess ultimately it's down to OH

Hi again Destiny01. Wish you all the best with whatever decision you make. I don't want to say the wrong thing here, but please make sure the decision is something you feel comfortable with.

Take care

:grouphug:

jak

Good luck with everything. I'm sure you'll b=make the right decision for your situation- whatever that ends up being! Lots of hugs and support is winging your way from everyone on here...
Let us know how you get on with finding out about the scan!
J
X

Supergirl_3

Hi destiny, from re reading your op I kind of sense that part of your worries is your current partner might do what your last one did and leave you with a child, am I right that this is a big part of your worry?

You also said you were considering having a child with him later on, well really, there is no guarantee that then would make you feel easier than you do now, so I would say really tell him how scared you are of being left on your again with a child to bring up and see if he can ease away any of that worry for you.

You two might be having different worries here: he about being a father which is probably normal, and you worried you might be left alone to cope.

Am not sure if I picked that up right from your op, so apologies if I am way off the mark.

x

destiny01

Supergirl wrote: »

Hi destiny, from re reading your op I kind of sense that part of your worries is your current partner might do what your last one did and leave you with a child, am I right that this is a big part of your worry?

You also said you were considering having a child with him later on, well really, there is no guarantee that then would make you feel easier than you do now, so I would say really tell him how scared you are of being left on your again with a child to bring up and see if he can ease away any of that worry for you.

You two might be having different worries here: he about being a father which is probably normal, and you worried you might be left alone to cope.

Am not sure if I picked that up right from your op, so apologies if I am way off the mark.

x

Hi Supergirl
Thanks for your kind words x I think if the pregnancy had been later on as we had planned I would have felt more comfortable as we would have been married, living in the same property (the logistics of our situ aren't straight forward) and would both have committed to having another child - but that's not the case here at the moment.
Guess my instinct is not to end the pregnancy but when I think of the actual realities of having a third child and the implications for me and my two children and where we will live (how they will still be able to see their father regularly etc...) it all becomes a bit of a scary blur - I am sure we will get there soon with a decision though - thanks again for your support x

Mips

Just want to send you hugs.

Think carefully about what you decide to do, I know people will tread carefully on here about mentioning termination and I know people struggle to get pregnant and that's unlucky for them, but there is nothing harder than continuing with a pregnancy when you are just in shock and it was unexpected

If you do decide you can't go ahead then the earlier you decide the better, you can take a tablet up to 9 weeks.

On the other hand, if you do decide to keep this baby then you will cope like you have with your other two and if you have been together three years, and he has no other children.. you never know, he could be totally happy with it and over the moon when the baby comes along.

Some Men seem in a daze and not so interested until they are holding their bundle and then they just change.. i find my husband loves all these little people he can produce... all mine are mini clones of him

You have a very tough decision to make and I feel for you completely.

Good luck

Staciep88

Hi, first of all - Congrats! The way I'm looking at it is... you say that you both want a child together one day well you've got one on the way now, not too cause offence but if you are 35 you wouldnt be able to wait much longer anyways. Good luck in whatever you decide to do