Unplanned Pregnancy - Advice needed

ALIBOBSY

Feeling a bit more positive now kids are back from school, and after a chat with a mate on the way to and from school. She pointed out that she knows I love being a mum, and that we had already decided I would be a stay at home mum for the next couple of years anyway.

Other positives mmmm
1)We already have a 7 seater car lol
2)Hubbies second self employed work seems to be taking off
3)ikea make £99 bunk beds :rotfl:
4)Just won £3k from ITV :T
5)I love babies

hope you are feelling more positive too, good luck
ali x

destiny01

ALIBOBSY wrote: »

Feeling a bit more positive now kids are back from school, and after a chat with a mate on the way to and from school. She pointed out that she knows I love being a mum, and that we had already decided I would be a stay at home mum for the next couple of years anyway.

Other positives mmmm
1)We already have a 7 seater car lol
2)Hubbies second self employed work seems to be taking off
3)ikea make £99 bunk beds :rotfl:
4)Just won £3k from ITV :T
5)I love babies

hope you are feelling more positive too, good luck
ali x

Glad you are feeling better Ali and you do have a lot of positives.;)
My main concern is that if I go ahead I know I can't do it alone so I really need the buy in of my OH who has no children of his own and is scared witless by it all - though we'd discussed moving in etc before I don't think he'd considered it all happening so fast and neither had I
tbh I was just getting used to not feeling like a single mum anymore - guess I'll just have to give it a bit of time and hopefully we will be able to make the best decision for us.
However if I'm really honest I would like to go ahead (not sure I'll get too many more chances at my age) but I would rather not if I am to be on my own

foreversomeday

Hi, congratulations

Just a quick note, if you were on the mini pill it may be worth popping to the doctor to make sure the pregnancy is not ectopic. It is unlikely but the risk is increased with being on the mini pill, and if left untreated it can be horrible so best to know sooner rather than later.

destiny01

foreversomeday wrote: »

Hi, congratulations

Just a quick note, if you were on the mini pill it may be worth popping to the doctor to make sure the pregnancy is not ectopic. It is unlikely but the risk is increased with being on the mini pill, and if left untreated it can be horrible so best to know sooner rather than later.

Yes I read about the increased risk of ectopic pregnancy so I mentioned it to the doc - the only way to tell is to have a scan but she mentioned the symptoms were pretty obvious - I thought she might send me for a scan but she didn't seem overly concerned?! - just told me to come back if I felt severe pain down one side and had bleeding.

Dill

destiny01 wrote: »

However if I'm really honest I would like to go ahead (not sure I'll get too many more chances at my age) but I would rather not if I am to be on my own

Such a difficult situation, destiny01. It seems like you know you would like to continue with the pregnancy. Maybe once the initial shock has passed your OH will get used to the idea? (I don't know, of course)

Talking things over with your OH and your sister will help, and there are pregnancy advisory services, too if you wanted to talk it over with someone not emotionally involved. (Just take care to avoid those who masquerade as pregnancy advice, when in fact they have an agenda, iyswim)

It is difficult to give advice in a situation like this, but fwiw I'd say try and imagine one year from now how you'd feel with either decision.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

jak

If you go back to the doctors tell her you want a scan. I had one at 6.5 weeks as had previous ectopic. It's worth asking (say you're worried) and they should refer you.
Good luck with everything and if you get ANY pain or bleeding or if your shoulder blades hurt (weird I know) then go to the doctors straight away. I'm sure you'll be fine but it can't hurt to check.
J
X

Supergirl_3

Give yourself some more time and don't even be thinking you have to make any desicians yet would be my advice.
Don't fight this 'shock'. You've only known a week. I am sure given another week you'll be able to think this through more carefully.

(hugs) xx

Carmina_Piranha_3

this probably doesn't help but i think a lot of people are in complete shock when they find out about an unplanned pregnancy. i burst into tears when i took the test with my eldest and with my third pregnancy i was terrified that i wouldn't cope. i lost that one, but am just mentioning it because with the two that were unplanned i was scared stiff, but with the one i tried for for years i never felt any of that shock.

i hope your sister helps

this is very rude of me, but are you overweight? i was told that the mini pill, depo jab etc. don't work very well in women who weigh over 11 stone. if you definitely don't want any more then another method of contraception might suit you better.

ceebeeby

:grouphug:

Only you and OH can make the right decision, and you will, because you're very sensibly talking it through. Take your time, because the result either which way will be with you always.

Keep us updated, and good-luck x

ailuro2

Me and my no DH were three years into our relationship when I found out I was PG, we were happy as we were, no plans to get married or have kids, just living together in my wee flat, then the two blue lines that made me feel like I'd been shot situation came along - it changed things, of course, but because we had been strong in the first place, we stuck together and got through that difficult first year of sleepless nights.
That was 10 years ago, I'd not swop our wonderful daughter for the world, no sisters or brothers ever appeared, so think what might have been if we'd decided it was too early and postponed it?

good Luck to you, fwiw I never really got over the shock of it at any time when I was pregnant - when people used to ask what I was hoping for , meaning a boy or a girl?, I used to tell them 'a kitten' cos I knew how to look after kittens:o