Unplanned Pregnancy - Advice needed

destiny01

All

I'm a regular poster on MSE but posting under a different username today.

Basically I'm in a mess and could do with some advice/perspectives from others.:eek:

I discovered last week that I am pregnant. I have been taking the mini pill for approx 6 months as I turned 35 last year and it was recommended by my doctor.
I do not know what has gone wrong - I took a preg test as I had been feeling sick/sore breasts and recognised the symptoms of pregnancy (I have 2 young children already)
It is early on in the pregnancy (my last confirmed bleed on the pill makes the pregnancy about 6 weeks along).
I told my OH immediately - we have been together nearly 3 years and I met him shortly after my husband left me and our 2 children.
We are both still in some shock re the pregnancy and I am swinging from one moment feeling I want to continue and the next that I can't - he is the same.
So far we have talked and talked but we just end up in tears.

We don't currently live together but this would be possible in the future (though the logistics would need refining as currently he lives near where he works and I live near where I work/kids school).
We had planned to set up home together and perhaps have another child in the future but this has come as a shock and I don't feel I can discuss it with anyone else other than my partner at the moment and we appear to be going round in circles.

Not sure what I'm expecting you guy's to say really - my head's just spinning and was hoping for others experiences/perspectives/advice - one moment I'm thinking of this as a positive step and the next I'm thinking OMG what about the children I already have etc... etc... - panic :eek:

My_Fathers_Daughter

Not sure that I can help destiny01 but have some (((((HUGS)))))


You are doing the right thing by talking it through with OH - it is a decision that only you 2 can make and it won't be easy, whatever you decide.


Keep talking, keep crying and stay as open as you can with each other. You will find your answer eventually.


MFD xx

daphne_descends

destiny01 wrote: »

We had planned to set up home together and perhaps have another child in the future

... so it's just happened sooner than planned?

greengrass

Hi Destiny
I hope you are ok. I am 37 and any more children is a definate no no for me, but if you were considering another in the future then as daphne says its just happened before you were planning on it happening. Although thats easy for me to say, I am sure you are in a turmoil and it is completely yours and partners decision. You will make the right choice I am sure.

Threebabes

Hi

I imagine you are in shock at the minute, give the news time to sink in. If you do want to go ahead with the pregnancy you will be surprised at how things always work out. It sounds like you have a supportive partner and as someone else as said, its happened sooner than planned.

My no 3 was a surprise, I was nearly 12 weeks when I found out. I was devastated, we already had one of each, a 3 bed house, had a holiday booked, I worked. DH was even worse than me, he found babies/small kids a nightmare. We eventually got over the shock & horror and shes now 4 1/2 and pure delight.

Good luck with your decision.

Baybee1984

Hey hun, big hugs!
Nobody can tell you what you should or shouldnt do, only you and your partner can decide that. You're doing the right thing by talking about it. You WILL eventually come to a decision thats right for you all, just keep talking! Good luck and take care!! x

Penny_Watcher

Oh bless you honey :kisses3:

Only you and your OH can make this decision. Keep talking and you find your way through.

Two of my children were 'surprises' . Both times I was in deep shock and absolute blind panic. The second time I was in a relatively new relationship and I didn't know how he would react. He really stepped up to the plate though and is an excellent (if a little shocked at the time) Dad.

Eldest is now 25 and No.2 'surprise package' is coming up to 14.

Sending lots of ((((((((HUGS))))))))

galvanizersbaby

Big hugs Destiny01

As the other posters have said keep communication open with your OH and you'll reach the decision that's right for you eventually x

ALIBOBSY

Can I send you a big hug and some mutual worry.
We have a 10 yr old boy and a 5 yr old girl, last yr had a bit of a suprise with baby 3 (not really trying but not on the pill). Sat with babes 8 months and worried sick here.
Been throwing up for days and period is late. We had been using something this time and I am breastfeeding but still looks like pregnant again. Going to get test later on. Still thinking I may just have a bug and my period may appear shortly .

Also feel a bit guilty worring about this, loads of people are desparate for a child and we seem to get pregnant at the fall of a hat. I even had 2 miss carriages in between the 3 babies.

Try to focus on the positives.

good luck
ali x

destiny01

Thanks all for your kind words and advice - it helps to know that your not on your own and others have been there x

I know it is not the worst disaster in the world - just thought I'd be in a slightly better situ if having another baby - guess life isn't like that sometimes

Going to speak to my sister tonight as think it may help to get her perspective x

destiny01

ALIBOBSY wrote: »

Can I send you a big hug and some mutual worry.
We have a 10 yr old boy and a 5 yr old girl, last yr had a bit of a suprise with baby 3 (not really trying but not on the pill). Sat with babes 8 months and worried sick here.
Been throwing up for days and period is late. We had been using something this time and I am breastfeeding but still looks like pregnant again. Going to get test later on. Still thinking I may just have a bug and my period may appear shortly .

Also feel a bit guilty worring about this, loads of people are desparate for a child and we seem to get pregnant at the fall of a hat. I even had 2 miss carriages in between the 3 babies.

Try to focus on the positives.

good luck
ali x

Good luck to you too ali and thanks for your support x