In laws, grrr!

JimmyTheWig

I don't think it is at all unreasonable for you to not want him to go.
I hope there's no "not letting him go" aspect to it, as when he knows that you don't want him to go that should be enough.

Seeing your own family might get a bit tricky. Depends how much your OH wants to go to Cuba with his mum and co.
I liked the idea that someone said about not seeing either family this Christmas. But then hearing your family situation that's not particularly practical.

I've got a suggestion.
You set out some basic rules, e.g. ...
1. You can't get time off work
2. You want to be with your son on his birthday
3. You want to be with your husband and son on Christmas day
4. You want to be with your husband on new years eve (unless you're working?)

then it's up to your husband to decide the rest of the plans.

If he's really miffed about not going to Cuba and decides that he doesn't want to see your side of the family either, then so be it. He has had to make a sacrifice so that you can be together - you may have to make a sacrifice too. Maybe you could go and see your uncle, etc, in, say, February?
Hopefully, though, the plans he decides on will involve seeing your family.

loftus

Bizarre off the wall idea I know, but before you get all worked up about this why don't you speak to your MIL and find out exactly what is going on. You say you see each other regularly so presumably you get on reasonably.
Are they the sort of family who book late holidays or do things spontaneously? To not even have booked a major holiday for this Christmas by mid July would mean they are leaving things very late and the cost would be a factor for most people let along getting the time off.

miserly_mum

Bennifred wrote: »

Are you sure you, your OH and children are included in your MIL's plans?? I'm just thinking - wouldn't it have been mentioned to you by now if you see them every week? Maybe you're not invited......:eek:

If MIL hates Xmas i'm sure the last thing she'd want in Cuba is kids and Xmas pressies etc etc

Why would she go to all that trouble and expense to avoid Xmas then take young children with her and have to do the whole Xmas thing over there?

belfastgirl23

I agree with Loftus - seems a bit previous to be getting all het up over this.

It does sound mad to me that there is no way at all that people can get time off over Christmas for an exceptional circumstance. Not saying at all that I don't believe you but just saying it's entirely possible that this is what your ILs think too. I think before plans go too much further you should have a talk with your MIL rather than getting upset about it. Thinking that a mum would be parted from young children for 2 weeks over Xmas is totally unreasonable so I would assume that this is not what she has in mind. I also think you accidentally gave out the wrong signals by saying that your MIL should go over Xmas - your SIL probably thought it was clear that it was the whole family and you apparently agreed to it, but you didn't know what it was you were agreeing to. It's a miscommunication. Or at least that would be my first thought about it.

CB1979_2

get your hubby to ask what's going on, you shouldn't ask in case you aren't invited then it's a bit embarassing.

are you being unreasonable? NO

however i wouldn't use "I want to be with my family at xmas" as a reason cos he/they could quite easily say "So do i/we", even though your circumstances are different.

seriously chill out and TALK

Kaz2904

belfastgirl23 wrote: »

It does sound mad to me that there is no way at all that people can get time off over Christmas for an exceptional circumstance.

It's a blanket ban, across the whole NHS I would think but even when I worked in nursing homes you weren't allowed to book holiday.
It's the only way of making it fair because nobody wants to work over Christmas so how would it be fair to let some people have holiday and others not?


I spoke to DH about it at lunch time.
ME: "Would you actually go to Cuba over Christmas if your Mum decides to go?"
DH: "Yeah of course.... It's CUBA!"
ME: ":eek: :mad: :eek: , Really?"
DH: "Yeah....:p "
ME: "What with the kids and everything?"
DH: "No, they're big enough to look after themselves while your working "


So I think he thinks it's a daft idea too.

No, when SiL said that MiL had been on about us all going away she meant all of us. Cause then I said I wasn't allowed to take holiday at Christmas and she kept saying how lovely Cuba would be at that time of year though.
MiL has mentioned previously about us all going away together and hiring a villa somewhere but I always got the impression that it would be in the summer holidays.
She's in London ATM but will broach the subject when she gets back from there.
DH doesn't mind meeting up with my family over Christmas, they get him a new David Hasselhoff item every year (as a joke). He gets abuse from the minute he steps in the front door and then goes to the pub with my sisters hubby!

CB1979_2

seriously get your hubby to mention it ASAP, before any real plans get started.

would've thought that going 2 weeks either side of the xmas & new year holiday would be:
1) cheaper
2) pretty much same weather
3) less busy

also get in early with the school and get them to agree to the 2 weeks off school time & also allows you to get your holidays booked early.