In laws, grrr!

Kaz2904

Unfortunately not. We aren't allowed to book any time off whatsoever over the Christmas holidays. The Sunday before Christmas to the Saturday after New year are crossed out and no ward staff are allowed to book it. Not even the girls from other countries are allowed to book it so they only get to see their families at Christmas if they get maternity leave at that time of year.

ceebeeby

Nope - not unreasonable. However, I've kind of done this in reverse.

I have taken my kids away over Xmas a few years ago to visit family overseas. OH couldn't get the time off work, but was happy for us to go. He spent Xmas day at his Mum's, with his sister, brother etc.

Was a fab holiday, but a horrible Xmas Day and New Years Day without him, despite me having the kids. Wouldn't do it again.

Kaz2904

At least you were visiting family though. To my knowledge there aren't any branches of his family living in Cuba...... I shall have to ask!

starbump

Kaz2904 wrote: »

I wouldn't mind going at another time, we're going away with MiL this year and went with them last year. We spend a lot of time together as we all live close together and the kids are close in ages. That's what surprised me the most- it's not like it should surprise them what I do for a living and I know we've discussed working over Christmas before.

So, you already spend ample time visiting DH's parents and you are close enough for them to be fully aware of your wishes and circumstances? In that case, I'd stay home with DH and kids and do whatever you had planned. It might be different if Christmas was their only opportunity to see son and grandchildren. It is their choice to go on vacation at that time of year. It is an expensive luxury, it is incompatible with your job and it is wrong to expect you to be separated from DH and kids without good reason.

lavidaloca

I disagree. You are going to be working anyway, you visit your family over Xmas so what's one Xmas out of a lifetime? Yes I have been parted from DH one Xmas and I spent it with my family it wasn't a problem. You can have your own family Xmas before or after the 25th when you aren't working.

Leilasmum

But if your MIL wants everyone to go, why hasn't she asked you herself? Maybe it's just talk at the moment. It's a big thing to plan, and if she's not going to broach the subject with you herself, I'd tell her to get stuffed.
Just my opinion though!

floss2

Kaz2904 wrote: »

Unfortunately not. We aren't allowed to book any time off whatsoever over the Christmas holidays. The Sunday before Christmas to the Saturday after New year are crossed out and no ward staff are allowed to book it. Not even the girls from other countries are allowed to book it so they only get to see their families at Christmas if they get maternity leave at that time of year.

Maybe next time you see MiL, you could bring this into a conversation about holidays & annual leave....it might prompt her to talk about her plans and then she will be aware that you cannot get time off, and also that you wouldn't be able to work if DH wasn't there either.....

Kaz2904

But I'm not going to be working for 24 hours a day for 2 weeks which is how long they'll be away for. I visit my family for a few hours on Christmas eve evening which is one of the few opportunities my sister and I get to see each other and our kids as we live 200 miles apart whereas we see his family at least once a week.
Out of interest, when you were parted from DH at Christmas was it because he had taken your children on holiday to somewhere you had always talked about going and left you at home because you couldn't get time off work?

lavidaloca

Kaz2904 wrote: »

But I'm not going to be working for 24 hours a day for 2 weeks which is how long they'll be away for. I visit my family for a few hours on Christmas eve evening which is one of the few opportunities my sister and I get to see each other and our kids as we live 200 miles apart whereas we see his family at least once a week.
Out of interest, when you were parted from DH at Christmas was it because he had taken your children on holiday to somewhere you had always talked about going and left you at home because you couldn't get time off work?

No he was working away for 3 weeks. You never said that Cuba was somewhere you'd both talked about always going to. I got the impression that you didn't really want to go at all. In that case they can surely all work around you. How soon after Xmas can you get leave?

debs66_2

this is an issue about families, not holidays.

your MIL sees her family as being her two sons, but they now have families of their own. your hubby has a commitment firstly to you and your children, and your MIL should not assume this will just happen because she wants it to.