In laws, grrr!

Kaz2904

It was BiL's birthday on Thursday so we went out to the cinema on Saturday night. While we were out SiL was saying that MiL had been on about going on holiday to Cuba. She said she'd told her to go over Christmas as that's the best weather.
MiL hates Chritmas so I said she'd enjoy that.
It wasn't until later in the evening when BiL said he had no bother getting 2 weeks off over Christmas that I realised MiL wanted everyone to go.
SiL sais that she'd been on about it for ages, taking everyone away together.
She seems really excited about it and is planning how fab this trip would be to get away from England at Christmas time.
MiL would love to have her 2 boys together for Christmas day.

But, I'm a nurse. There is absolutely no way I can get 2 weeks off at Christmas.
Knowing the family they probably wouldn't give 2 hoots and would plan it without me. As for DH, I expect he'd be torn. He'd want to go really.
Would I be being unreasonable if I said there was absolutely no beeping way that he was taking the kids away for 2 weeks to Cuba over Christmas without me? That's my initial reaction. Christmas is about family and being together and we get some time together even with me working. We go to church on Christmas eve and visit my side of the family locally. My DS's birthday is on 19th December too.
I'm tamping about this because again it's one of those situations where noone pays any consideration to what I do. I'm used to missing out on day trips and weekends away because of work and that cheeses me off but this would be taking the biscuit really.

Or am I over reacting?

Discuss........

shelley_crow

I agree with you, there'd be no way on earth that i'd let my OH take DS away over chirstmas and his birthday. Sod what the MIL thinks, that's hewr problem. No chance at all! How old is your little one? x

ameliarate

I agree, no way would I be away from my daughter at Christmas, even now and she is 20 so if yours are younger it would be even worse.

starbump

In my opinion, DH should put you and your kids first above everyone else. If Christmas is important to you (and DH and kids) then you should spend it together, which you would be able to do even if you were all working part of each day. To balance this, I think it would be good to agree to spend Christmas together by yourselves. If DH doesn't see his parents, then you don't see your parents - thus no favouritism charges to be levied.

OTOH, if what you really want to do is spend Christmas with your parents, then DH should be able to spend Christmas with his parents. In that case, I'd let the kids choose who to visit if they are old enough. If they are young - maybe under 8 - then they should stay with you as they will still be very dependent on their mom.

pukkamum

No way!!!! If you can't go no-one goes!!! That what i would say!!! How miserable would xmas be for you if that happened? Surely your dh not even considering it!!!

Staciep88

I agree with you, I would hate to go away at christmas anyway - i love our christmas! I think you just explain that you cannot get the time off and you never know she may be more unstanding then you think? I def wouldnt let them all go and leave you behind though! x

G-G_4

hmmm.. difficult one.

would you want to go even if you could get the time off work?

the thought of me having to do that is horrifying (the family holiday, not the time off work )

OH has been on various family holidays with my family though, but I think my family are a little bit more interesting and less moany than his..

amyandoli

id offer a compromise. say you cant go at xmas and obviously it is xmas and little kids should be with their parents so none of you will be going on the holiday. but then add youd like to make it up by going on holiday another time with them when everyone is free.

Kaz2904

Kids are 6 and 4, will be 7 and 5 by then. If DH went and left me with the kids then I wouldn't be able to work either as there would be noone there at night when I'm working.
We always go to church with my family on Christmas eve and DH's family are always invited but never come.
Would it really be fair to not do that if his family weren't in the country and mine are 6 miles away?
I'm not opposed to spending Christmas day with his family but if they are away for 2 weeks over Christmas then I can't can I?
My sister usually comes down from 200 miles away over Christmas or New Year and my Uncle comes 400 miles for both. My Mum and Step Dad don't bother and my Dad and Step Mum don't have any contact with us. It's my Aunt and Uncles house where we all meet up. My cousin won't be there this year because he'll be working in Doha.
Christmas day would probably be dinner at ours and then open house. Depends what shifts I'm working though.
MiL hasn't said anything to us about it yet and DH is vey much a 'deal with it when it happens' type person.

Kaz2904

I wouldn't mind going at another time, we're going away with MiL this year and went with them last year. We spend a lot of time together as we all live close together and the kids are close in ages. That's what surprised me the most- it's not like it should surprise them what I do for a living and I know we've discussed working over Christmas before.

G-G_4

If MIL & whoever else wants to go away then let them.

It obviously isn't practical or fair for your family to go if you cannot get the time off work.

You cannot be expected to be at home working over xmas whilst your OH, kids and that go Cuba, families just don't work like that.

I think you should just deal with it if and when it happens..

Just a thought, could you go for a week maybe?