"Need advice on splitting up after 15 years? please help am going mad."

floss2

k1mmie wrote: »

......Just a thought but a friend of mine went through the same situation and went to the council and told them that he was violent towards her (very abusive and drank) and that she needed to get out urgently and they rehoused her in private rented accommodation. SHe told them that due to the violence she did not want him approached as she feared for her safety. They never even called him (even though they jointly had a mortgage). To this day he lives in the house that is mortgaged and she lives in the private house. She is still entitled to half when they sell it.

All the best.

This may not necessarily be the best route to go down.....most Homeless Departments will contact the local DV team / Police for records of reported violence / abuse. If there is no Police / DV team history, they may not offer this type of accomodation.

elona

Your local library should offer cheap or free computer access if you do not want to use the computer at home.

If you contact admin I am sure they would let you change your user name.

Why should you have to do without support because he chooses to spy on you?

Big hug

needahug1978

Hi The thing is because its and open forum, he said he was checking for advise etc himself. Said he was reading my discussion and just clicked that it was me who had written it because everthing I had written. I wouldnt matter if i changed my password etc because he didnt even know I had changed to a different user name. He just had to come on the forum and read it. Hope that I explained my self ok then lol got a bit confused myself.
Anyway a quick update, I dont care if he reads this now to be honest, I need support and advice and will keep trying to post because you are all so helpful and freindly. We had someone come round yesterday to value the house. I think the best solution at the moment is to continue to live with each other although live seperatly, put the house on the market and sell. Then hopefully I will go my way and him his. I have been to council this morning to get application form, but becase I will not be able to afford to run two place at once I will have to wait untill this place is sold before I could accept another place. The lady at the council offices said that the way people are allocated houses is now changing.Instead of being put on a points system, people are now put on a banding system and properties will be put on the net and you can bid for properties depending on your band. All very complicated. But she did also say that she didnt think I would be in a very high band but could be wrong, It seems to me that they prefer you to find yourself private rented accomadation and they will then see if they can help with rent/council tax etc.
I have to return to work tomorrow so will be stuck and wont be able to anything else becase I work from 6am - 6pm, all the day is taken up you see.
I am trying to be as amicable as I can and so is he, and I am just trying to stay out of the way so we can both have clear thinking space, although this has already given me a major headache, i do feel stronger in knowing that I have all you support. Many thanks again, you have all been superb with your kindness.

xx