Depression Support Thread

shazrobo

morning all, hope everyone is ok, i'm full of cold and feeling under the the weather.
big hugs all
shaz xxx

astonsmummy

Hi all.
My first post here, I'm worried about myself, just split up from my boyfriend and I'm devestated
I've not felt this low for such a long time, I dont know what to do.
I've suffered with depression for a long time, since my early teens, and also suffered with PND.
For the last 2 days I've spent most of it crying, moping and just not bothering unless I'm with my son.
I feel like such a fool being like this over a bloke but I cant help it.
*cries*

KentishLady

Morning all.

Hope your all OK.

Queensway Boy, here's a hug for you - you OK hon? :grouphug:

Shaz - hope the cold gets better soon. How are the boys? Hope their behaving themselves for you.

Tiff - hope your having a lovely time in Devon. Look forward to reading about it when you get back.

As promised, here are some photos from my summer school - I'll just post the links so that the post doesnt get too big.

http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk17/KentishLady/SXR260%20210708%20Staithes/S26021072008008.jpg

http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk17/KentishLady/SXR260%20240708%20Teesdale%20day/summerhillforceE.jpg

http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk17/KentishLady/SXR260%20250708%20Mystery%20Quarry%20day/007.jpg

KentishLady

astonsmummy wrote: »

Hi all.
My first post here, I'm worried about myself, just split up from my boyfriend and I'm devestated
I've not felt this low for such a long time, I dont know what to do.
I've suffered with depression for a long time, since my early teens, and also suffered with PND.
For the last 2 days I've spent most of it crying, moping and just not bothering unless I'm with my son.
I feel like such a fool being like this over a bloke but I cant help it.
*cries*

Hi Astonsmummy. Welcome to the thread. First, have a big hug - sounds like you need it. Your not a fool, splitting up from someone is always difficult and hurts no matter who does the breaking up. I'm sure that the other folks will be along soon to welcome you. I'm not very good at the advice side of things so I'll leave any more pearls of wisdom for someone else to impart.

KL.

KentishLady

OK, now I think I told you all that my mum crashed my car whilst I was on holiday. As my car wasnt covered on her insurance, we have to pay for the repairs. Quote came through at £838. Now, my dilemma is that I do have enough money to pay for this because I recently received some trust fund money from my grandmother. However, I had earmarked said money to clear two of my credit cards. To be honest, as my mum crashed the car I do think she should pay for it. However, she is retired and my sister last night basically told me that she would be very unhappy if she found out that I had made my mum pay for the car given that we had received the trust fund money & my sister feels my mum cant afford it because she will lose her no claims bonus and her insurance will go sky high (she has had to claim on her insurance for the neighbours car that she damaged). I dont know what to do!!!!!! Mum feels really bad about the car and said she would pay for the damage, but if she cant afford it then obviously I'd rather she didn't.

Just to confuse my feelings even more, last night went to a meeting at church with sis, her DH and baby for parents/godparents meeting with the vicar and other parents/godparents whose children are being baptised in the next few months. I had been coping OK with the baby issues but last night I wanted to hold him but didnt get an opportunity until the end of the meeting. Sis DH had left early, and this meant she had baby in arms & was trying to push the push chair to leave the church. I offered to take baby or help and this was refused. It sometimes feels like she just doesnt trust me with him, or that I have done something wrong. When I got home last night all I wanted to do was curl up in a corner with my cat and cry. Unfortunately the cat I used to do this with is the one we lost 4 years ago before we moved and this has made me miss him again.

I made him promises the year before we moved - that he would soon have his own garden, and that I would take him on a campervan holiday once we were settled and I never got the chance because he got cancer.

I really thought that I was getting better and now I just feel that I was just kidding myself and putting on a brave face about everything.

KL.

LadyMorticia

Welcome to the thread astonsmummy.

I wish OU did Photography. I'd be taking that course up like a shot.lol.

xx

feelinggood_2

KentishLady - I didn't want to read and run, but I don't really have anything to useful to say about your post. Perhaps your could ask your Mum to pay what she can afford? Or suggest you split 50/50 or 75/25? I'm sorry about the Church meeting and the feelings it brought up. I can't begin to imagine how painful it was for you. My and OH tried for a couple of years to concieve, without sucess. It did (and still do) find it painful that both my Sisters-in-Law concieved at the drop of a hat and have two babies each. I was most hurt by them discussing wether or not to tell me one of them was pregnant, incase I couldn't deal with it. It must be a tough situation. I'm sorry about your cat too. I used to sit and cry with my Rabbit on my lap. He died a few years ago now, and I recently got a new Bunny, does remind me of the special bond I used to have with my first rabbit. I don't think that
getting upset means that you aren't getting better. This things tend to go in ebbs and tides don't they, try and look at the overall picture and how well you are doing. I'm really sorry that things are tough ((hugs)) Lovely picturs too, looks lovely there.

LM - An OU thing sounds great. Have you looked at local colleges and things for photography course? My Local one does offer a photography course, so it might be worth looking into if you are keen! I think about doing something like that, but I'm sure I have the confidence. Photography is my main hobby, but I'm pretty rubbish and wouldn't want to compare myself to other people.

AM - Welcome to the thread. Try not to let yourself thing that you are a fool. You are anything but. Yes, you were in a destructive relationship, but you recognised the problems, tried to fix them, and removed yourself from the situation when you knew your efforts were working. Thats not foolish, thats very strong. That said, you are more than allowed to be devestated - you have lost someone who although on paper you know wasn't for you, you still had deep feelings for him. You need time to grieve and come to terms with the loss of this relationship. Keep trying to do things with your son, and try to do something nice for you.

Shaz - Hope your cold feels better soon. A good excuse to lie on the sofa for a bit? Hope you get chance to rest. How are things with Daniel being at camp? I hope he and you both benefit from the little break.

SusieB - Glad you slept well. If you are worried, you can go back to your GP. You can discuss the possibility of waiting for a while, to see how things go. Its a big decison to make alone though, so try to involve your GP. You can explain how you may have just worried about getting low - lots of us have done that, myself included. I hope you can work out the right action for you.

Top_Drawer - Sorry your housing issue isn't resolved. I hope you find somewhere suitable soon. A new job as well, its all change! Its a shame you are being taken advantage of there.

Tulip - hope you slept well and are feeling awake today!

Gemini - How are you sweetie?

FairyDawn - ((Hugs)) Sorry you are struggling at the moment. Do you think talking about it would help? Make sure you are kind to yourself. Hope you feel better soon.

QB - Thanks for the hugs, keep 'em coming.

SeptemberBlues - Seems a few people are out of hiding again. I'm glad its getting a little busier, I miss you all! How are you?

SF - I see you thanking, are you alright? Sorry about your bad day at work the other day. How are you feeling at work now? It must have hurt, but perhaps there was another reason for the comment. Hope things are okay there.

CCStar - How are things with you Hun? Any more thoughts on your housing situation? When is the tenancy up?

Rebekah - Nice to meet you. Don't apologise about gatecrashing, we were all new here once and you are very welcome here! Does the Aromatherapy stuff work? I've tried things like that, maybe thats an idea. Make sure you keep yourself safe, if you get any more bad thoughts, try and talk to someone.

Tiff - enjoy your holiday. Don't forget to take pics!

Gillette - Hope you are okay. ((Hugs))

ILGD - How are you? Hope things are okay and you are enjoying your new dog. Remember we are here if you ever want to talk, about anything. Hope you are getting the help you need with the money stuff. ((Hugs))

Hugs to Alba, Diamond, Steph, Shazza, Chollita, Earth, Titch, Lauric, Santashelper, Jo_R, Meyore, Rose, BigMummaF and all our very much missed regluars and newcomers.

shazrobo

hi feelie, how are you today hun?
the break from daniel is lovely, and i'm hoping he had a great time at camp too, as he usually does. he is back home again this afternoon, and i'm sure the break will have done us both good, i feel a little stronger and able to deal with him better.
welcome to astonsmummy, you are not a fool, breakup's are alwys painful, whatever the reasons for them, (((hugs)))
anni, well done on finding the courage to take on a course, i often think about doing one, but lack concentration lol
hi kentishlady, (((big hugs))), must be really hard for you right now, dont understand why your sister wont even let you hold the baby, maybe she being an overprotective mum? sorry i'm not been helpful. i think as your mum damaged your car she should pay for it too, and it has nothing to do with your sister, i would suggest sitting down with your mum, and discuss it with her, and if you can afford it, and she really cant maybe offer to go halves?
big hugs to all
shaz xxx

queensway_boy

Hi and welcome to astonsmummy sorry to hear about your break up.Here's stuff a found ont tinternet which might help.At the mo you will think the feelings will last forever but they won't.Welcome to the thread and feel free to chat as little or as much as you like.


1. Never be ashamed of your feelings. In the beginning of a break-up, you might want to show people that you are fine. This might cause you to go out and act as though you are moving on full swing. You might even start dating immediately. If the relationship meant a great deal to you then you are going to need time to mourn the loss of it. Never assume you need to apologize for feeling bad about your new path in life. As a relationship ends, you will need to grieve. Take time to get past the emotions of anger, sadness, and loss. Once you can accept where you are and that the relationship is in the past, then maybe you are ready for a new relationship.

2.Write out your feelings on a piece of paper. (It always helps.)

3.Do not become his friend UNLESS you are truly And completely OVER HIM!


4.Go out with your friends. * Remember friends ALWAYS make you laugh. If you want to get over it, you have to be with your friends so they can help you forget about it and make you feel better


5.Get it all out. 'Cry, scream and feel sorry for yourself'. Wallow in self-pity. However, one day while you are wallowing you will suddenly say, "Hey I don't feel like wallowing anymore today. I feel better." And the next day you will feel better and each day after that you will feel even better. Soon, something amazing happens, you rediscover your smile and actually laugh at who you were back then. Suddenly you are thankful for what the experience taught you


6.Erase all the little notes and messages he gave you or left on your phone. Erase his phone number. There is no sense in having it anymore if you want to make a true, finished, clean break


7.Start a new hobby or pastime. This will let you concentrate on something new and interesting and get you out of the circular thought process you may or may not develop, thinking about your ex too much


WARNING................WARNING..................WARNING



Do not resort to alcohol ever it will only multiply your problems and get you fired from your job, harm your health, get you thrown in jail and harm relationships with friends and family. If it gets to the point where that you feel that you need alcohol to cope then you have a serious problem, and you should immediately seek out professional help



AND also there's always us here,big hugs xx

queensway_boy

KentishLady wrote: »

Morning all.

Hope your all OK.

Queensway Boy, here's a hug for you - you OK hon? :grouphug:

Shaz - hope the cold gets better soon. How are the boys? Hope their behaving themselves for you.

Tiff - hope your having a lovely time in Devon. Look forward to reading about it when you get back.

As promised, here are some photos from my summer school - I'll just post the links so that the post doesnt get too big.

http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk17/KentishLady/SXR260%20210708%20Staithes/S26021072008008.jpg

http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk17/KentishLady/SXR260%20240708%20Teesdale%20day/summerhillforceE.jpg

http://i276.photobucket.com/albums/kk17/KentishLady/SXR260%20250708%20Mystery%20Quarry%20day/007.jpg

Thanks KL for the hugs,nice pics too,xx